Fox’s Brian Kilmeade and Scott Brown took a “manhood” test today and they didn’t exactly come out looking like he-men.
Former Navy SEAL Derrick Van Orden visited Fox & Friends where Kilmeade and Brown sampled three “lost art of manhood” tests: tying a tie, knotting a rope and changing a tire. Kilmeade used his teeth and Brown to help tie the tie. But it was the tire test that really proved Kilmeade and cohost's undoing.
“Being a man is not about what you are, it’s about who you are,” Van Orden said. Apparently, what he meant is that it’s about what you can do. With the tire change, Kilmeade and Brown pretended “to be helping someone in distress” because that’s “what a man does, not just a male.”
But within moments, Kilmeade and Brown were the ones in distress.
As they went to work removing the "bad" tire, the lug nuts rolled away, the car rolled forward, the jack began falling and Brown ultimately decided he’d do more harm than good by continuing and gave up.
Cohost Elisabeth Hasselbeck asked Van Orden, “Why is it ultimately important to be able to do these kinds of things right now and why do you feel like it’s a lost art?”
Van Orden didn’t really have an answer. “Well, if you talk to these people next to us our here in Manhattan, the vast majority of them do not know how to do this,” he replied.
Kilmeade, who had been standing off to the side, placed himself in front of the camera. “I kind of failed at the manhood thing,” he admitted. “So I’m a man in training.”
Then he called on a woman for rescue. Kilmeade told Fox’s Heather Nauert, back in the studio, to “take it away” and ended the segment.
Watch the manliness fail below, via Raw Story, which noted that the tire change fail nearly resulted in someone getting hurt and/or serious damage to the car.
That’s what happens when the suits hire bottom-of-the-barrel producers.
According to one study (https://wagner.nyu.edu/files/rudincenter/dynamic_pop_manhattan.pdf), of the 1.6 million commuters traveling EVERY DAY into Manhattan, only 16.2% (that’s fewer than 260,000) of them travel by car. Again—that’s COMMUTERS, mostly from the other boroughs or nearby cities in New York and New Jersey. Among local Manhattanites, the study says that 58% use mass transit—if they’re not walking or biking.
According to Census figures, only about 1.4 million out of 3 million households in NYC own any cars. In Manhattan, less than 1 out of every 4 households owns even a single car while, in Brooklyn and Bronx, just under half of all households own a single vehicle. In Queens, it’s nearly 2 of 3 and in Staten Island, it’s 5 of 6. But, compare those to the national average, where 92% of all households own at least one car (and 20% own three or more).
Personally, I can change a tire. That is, of course, assuming I can get the freaking lug nuts off. When you buy new tires, the mechanics use machines to tighten the lug nuts and they’re nearly impossible to get off WITHOUT the same type of machines. The last time I had to change a tire, it took me almost 45 minutes just to get the lug nuts off but less than 10 minutes to actually get the tire off and changed out and lug nuts and hubcap back on. (An earlier time, a couple of guys stopped and asked if I needed help. The guy who came over was seriously in better shape than I was—and a little bigger as well—and he had trouble getting the lug nuts off using my tire iron. He got his and still had to jump up and down on the tire iron to turn the nut.)
The idea that changing a tire is some “proof” of manhood is ludicrous. As far as tying a tie or knotting a rope, my dad’s favorite trick with the necktie was tie it once and when you’re done with it, just loosen it enough to pull it over your head, and you never have to tie the damned thing again. I haven’t had any reason to tie a necktie in literally decades (not to say I can’t but it won’t be perfect) and knotting a rope? For what purpose? If I don’t want to destroy the rope, I just tie it like a shoelace (depending, of course, on what and where I’m tying); otherwise, I just make a freaking knot and use a knife to cut the rope when I’m done. (It’s not like rope is all that expensive.)