This contraceptive controversy just keeps on giving, gentle reader - generally giving you things you’d rather throw on the garbage pile. The latest gift appears to be a re-ignited Glenn Beck. The former Fox News host, whom the network threw on the garbage pile last year, appears to have jumped on the controversy as an opportunity to ride back from oblivion; and last night Bill O’Reilly gave him a chance to promote his new world vision.

On Sunday, in an op-ed published in the Washington Post, Beck declared that though he’s not a Catholic, that Church is "defending a historic American freedom" so "if you are a person of faith, you must call yourself a Catholic.” That’s because, "The state has no right to say how much religion any American can practice. It’s our right, and it is the first one our Founding Fathers protected." (Mmhmm. Can’t have a Beck spot without mention of the Founding Fathers, can we?) An assault on one faith, he declares, is an assault on them all. (Really? Even Islam?)

Beck’s Catholicism-by-proxy led him to the Vatican where he says he met with cardinals and other high ranking church leaders. "I told them this struggle is similar to the fight against anti-Semitism. They understand, and they agree. To them, this fight is everything. And there will be no compromise." He also spent six hours "on the ground" in Athens, which has made him an expert on the situation in Europe.

So now he’s back home, filled with a mission to expend the Tea Party beyond the borders of the US of A. There are Tea Partiers (or freedom movements at least) all over the world, he told O’Reilly: in Bosnia, Israel, Germany, Belarus, London... (ahem... Glenn... that’s not all over the world, that’s mostly bits of Europe.) "The left is united around the world, and it’s time for those who want freedom, faith and justice for all."

So, asked O’Reilly, are you the leader of the worldwide Tea Party? "I’m just, I’m a dad," Beck demurred modestly. But someone had to act, he went on, or else "Europe is going to fall into real darkness and the old hatreds will rear their ugly heads." He was tired of waiting for someone else to lead, and since he had the time and resources, why not him? "It’s like, you and George Soros, for dominance in the world," needled O’Reilly. "Soros is Dr. Evil." Amen if Soros was his enemy, Beck replied. He was marshalling “individuals against the machine [Soros] is trying to build."

You can expect more of this Beck circus in the coming months, gentle reader; it’s a lead up to the "Restoring Love" rally he’s planning for Dallas on July 28. The Web site pitches it as an American rally, but I guess Beck’s visit to Europe inspired his fervor (or fed his megalomania) because last night he was calling it an international peace and freedom movement. He also said the rally would be about teaching our children how serve one another - to provide "the safety net that our government is currently trying to destroy." (Holy bananas, gentle reader! Providing safety nets for one another - isn’t that socialism or something? Did one of those high-ranking church leaders put a truly Christian thought into Beck’s head? Never mind. Probably won’t last.)