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Todd Starnes Laments Whipped Cream 'Debauchery' During Spring Break

Posted by Priscilla -26.60pc on April 01, 2015 · Flag

Starnes_whipped_cream.jpg

When it comes to godless debauchery, nobody knows it better than Fox's Jesus loving, homo hating, culture clubber Todd Starnes who, in 2012, lamented the leather clad debauchery of a NY gay pride parade. Sunday, on a Fox & Friends exposé of Florida's spring break, Starnes lamented that this "debauchery" is truly a sign of the end times.

Tucker Carlson began with "it's spring break gone wild...like you've never seen before." Tthe banner proclaimed, as FOX FACT that spring break in Panama City Beach Florida (deep in the heart of Jesus land, oh my!) is "The Real Sin City" as video of Ainsley Earhardt's interviews with drunken and debauched spring breakers was shown. When asked by Earhardt what her parents would be thinking, a young woman, OMG, said "fuck my parents." Sweet lil Christian Foxie, Anna Kooiman asked if these teenagers are "out of control" and if this is "a sign of a missing moral compass in America." She tossed to Todd Starnes who explained why this is indeed a sign of the end times.

Kooiman noted that Earhardt was at spring break for the second year in a row and said that "it has gotten even worse." Starnes, whose knowledge of spring break is limited to Sean Hannity's titillating coverage, agreed. After he cited an increase in arrests and violent behavior, Clayton Morris asked if we really have "lost our social conscience" or, as a result of social media, are we just "more aware" of the activities. As a constant stream of scantily clad partiers was shown, the banner proclaimed "Spring Break Exposed" and asked if this "Is This A Sign Our Country Has No Morals."

As an example of spring break debauchery, Starnes informed us that "inappropriate" thing are happening "with whipped cream." The banner read "No Moral Compass," and asked "Where Are the Parents In This Scene" as Starnes quipped that what is going on in Florida make "those college frat parties look like Baptist Church picnics." He seemed excited as he proclaimed that the "heightened level of outrageousness" is connected to "the culture at large."

The banner proclaimed "Missing Morality" as Starnes, not a parent, whined about how this behavior is due to a lack of parenting. He recounted his tale (told on Twitter) about being at a local market and observing an unruly child who, according to Todd, should have been spanked rather than just spoken to. Sweet lil Southern gal, Kooiman, laughed as she said "he needs a whooping." Starnes agreed. Starnes, not a parent, said that today's parents "are more interested in being friends with their kids rather than being parents."

Tucker Carlson babbled something incoherent about how, in a democracy, you "have to have an impressive majority." Starnes lamented that "these kids are going to be procreating." Carlson interjected, "and worse, voting." Starnes appended his comment that "these kids are going to be the future of our country," with "sweet lord almighty." As the curvy couch kids laughed, Starnes sighed and said "pray for the country."  In case you weren't scared yet, the banner proclaimed "Fear of the Future."

If Fox & Friends wants to talk about our country's loss of a moral compass, perhaps they could discuss systemic racism and income inequality. But that wouldn't lend itself to nice T&A video and the Christian right message (talk about cognitive dissonance!) about America on the road to perdition. Funny, I recall that the arbiters of morality, back in the sixties, were worried about those licentious hippies. Flash forward to 2015 and Fox News is worried about debauched) spring breakers.

Fox News - where Christian moral scolding is always in vogue! (And what exactly was going on with that whipped cream?)

And BTW, Starnes, in a Fox Nation video, actually said that spring break is just like Sodom and Gomorrah! And here's his Facebook page:

starnes_spring_break.jpg

 

 

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w d commented 2015-04-02 16:44:34 -0400 · Flag
We’re so appalled by this activity we’re going to show it on a continuous loop so that our geriatric audience knows how appalled we are.

(ps: that ‘fapping’ sound is BillO screening raw footage. he was so helpful with our editors in finding the right clips to show —)
d d commented 2015-04-02 10:04:09 -0400 · Flag
Oh, good grief. The FOX “news” pearl clutching over Spring break has been completely over-the-top. “Debauchery” isn’t something that just popped up in recent years among this current generation of young people. FOX “news” has been playing these Spring break videos for days and days now, over and over which is quite unnecessary and makes me wonder – they may act all aghast but I think some of them (and many of their viewers) are secretly enjoying the shots of the scantily-clad antics. Toddles probably dreams of spanking some of those naughty partiers, you know, just to teach them a lesson in morality, of course.
mlp ! commented 2015-04-01 18:54:26 -0400 · Flag
I think he’s obsessed with the “whipped” part.
truman commented 2015-04-01 18:14:15 -0400 · Flag
Some say that Turdles enjoys his own private spring break with his pet gerbil and some anal lubricant. Whipped cream optional.
Joseph West commented 2015-04-01 17:54:10 -0400 · Flag
Just a note about the last comment.

The photo was actually shot using shaving cream and chiffon to emulate whipped cream (which would’ve pretty much melted under studio lighting).

But photo trickery notwithstanding, it’s pretty obvious that people have been doing (or, at least thinking about doing) “inappropriate things” with whipped cream for a LOOOOOOOOONG time.
Joseph West commented 2015-04-01 17:50:07 -0400 · Flag
Todd’s just upset because no one’s willing to do any of those “inappropriate” things involving whipped cream with him. He’s even more upset at the thought of all that whipped cream that he’ll never get a chance to eat.

Someone really should send Toodles a copy of one of the biggest-selling albums of the 1960s, Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass’s “Whipped Cream & Other Delights.” The album was originally released in 1965 and, there’s little denying that a LOT of whipped cream is being used (some might say, wasted) inappropriately on the cover.

Image at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:HA_WhippedCream.jpg
Steve St John commented 2015-04-01 17:16:29 -0400 · Flag
I remember hearing similar complaints while growing up in the 1960s. Some things never change.

Except Spring Break, that is. I don’t think the spring break in Florida/Carribean thing had even been invented yet.
mlp ! commented 2015-04-01 15:51:55 -0400 · Flag
No, Todd.
The TRUE sign of the ‘end of times’ is fat, stupid, hateful fucks like you having any relevance at all.
YOU are what is wrong with society.
NewsHounds posted about Todd Starnes Laments Whipped Cream 'Debauchery' During Spring Break on NewsHounds' Facebook page 2015-04-01 14:27:01 -0400
Todd Starnes is into whipped cream?








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