As we know, Bill O'Reilly is a macho guy who sees the world in terms of good vs. evil, black vs. white (literally as well as figuratively), Christians vs. "secularists," and so forth. He sees himself as a fighter against nefarious forces that are eroding his traditionalist, Catholic, 1950's society. His sense of being besieged by those who do not meet Bill's high moral standards (Ahem) is reflected in his patented "war on Christmas." And when somebody really, really gets Bill's Irish up, as does NY City Mayor Bill de Blasio and an "Occupy" protester, he fantasizes about beating them up. We don't know if Bill's pugilistic tendencies are the result of an abusive father, his high school's "tough" Marianist Brothers, or just Bill being Bill. But one thing is for sure, his combative manliness (Ahem) is reflected in a personal accoutrement. Simmer down now, it's not what you think.

No, O'Reilly's prized possession isn't his vibrator. It's a memento from his Irish-American grandfather who, as Bill explains it, was part of a long line of Irish "warriors." Let's let Bill explain: "My paternal grandfather fought in World War I, then became a New York City police officer. He was one tough SOB. I have his billy club in my desk drawer. It was well used. Come to think of it, maybe I was named after that club."

So rather than a watch or an old photograph, Bill's souvenir of his grandfather is an instrument of violence which, as he says, was "well used." Given the relationship of NY's finest to the minority community, it might be safe to say that Bill's views of the African-American community suggest that he's a chip off the old block.

Anyway, a match between O'Reilly and de Blasio would be priceless. My odds are on O'Reilly because, one assumes, he fights dirty!