If there was any question as to the fair & balanced Fox "News" being totally in NY's Cardinal Timothy Dolan's cassock, it would be dispelled by Martha MacCallum's total puff piece about how Dolan is totally awesome! As usual, Dolan's problems relating to his handling of pedophile priests were not mentioned. Joining in the Dolan worship was - surprise, surprise - official and one true Fox priest, Fr. Jonathan Morris, who was at the Vatican. The giant sucking sound could be heard all the way from Rome. 

Thursday, MacCallum was all smiles as she reported that Cardinal Dolan "saw a rise in his stature" during his stay in Rome for the Conclave. The chyron framed the message, "Timothy Cardinal Dolan Achieves 'Rock Star' Status Within Church." She claimed that Dolan "became extremely popular throughout this process" and is "taking on a rock star status in the Catholic Church." She played his comments about the new pope, done in the "style that we know and love." ("We?") MacCallum was almost orgasmic as she paraphrased Dolan's comments. In introducing Morris she said that he "knows about this very well" because he lived at the Vatican for 10 years. She didn't say that while he was there he was head of the Legion of Christ seminary and very close to the disgraced head of the Legion of Christ, Marcial Maciel, who molested many seminarians and fathered children out of wedlock.

Morris informed the viewers that when the pope was chosen there was an "eruption of applause." (Is that like an "ejaculation?") Lots of footage of Dolan, with paparazzi, was shown. Morris continued to blither about how the cardinals were so excited when they found the man that, they believed, was what God wanted. MacCallum added that Dolan said that there "wasn't a dry eye in the house." MacCallum blithered about how Dolan is helping us see "the humanity of this process" and "how real [Dolan] is." She wanted to know how Dolan can "inspire" American Catholics. Morris talked about "common values" among all religions and non-believers. Morris did his best jazz hands as he spoke of how Dolan will have to deal with "real problems." (Yeah, like pedophilia in his old diocese and in NY). As he continued to blither, a visual of Dolan's fat face and his creds were plastered across the screen. Morris spluttered that when Dolan returns to NY, he will have a "platform" (Fox News?) from which to urge fallen away Catholics to "come back."

MacCallum scrunched up her pretty face as she noted that lots of American Catholics "aren't attending Mass." Morris is either in total denial or has been instructed not to say anything bad about those "bad stuff" about the Church because he attributed this trend to "mismanagement, dysfunction, or even what we could call clerical careerism." (How bout disenchantment with an all male church that says abortion and birth control will send you to hell while no bishops have suffered any church consequences for aiding and abetting rampant pedophilia - for starters!) Morris, hardly a poor, humble parish priest, spoke of the new pope's humility. MacCallum's eyes lit up when said that it was a "spectacular moment" when the pope asked the people to pray for him.

While the US has a number of Cardinals, for Fox News, Dolan is the big (he does eat well) man on campus. But then his positions, articulated and validated on Fox, are in synch with the GOP so maybe he's bringing in some Republican sheaves (or sheep, as the case may be). And to MacCallum's question of how Dolan can "inspire" Americans, maybe he can start with coming clean about the payoffs to the pedophile priests and moving Church assets into a church cemetery trust - things you won't hear about Dolan on the "fair and balanced" Fox News!