Hey, Fox News, you’ve got mail. Mail that was sent to us by viewers who can’t tell the difference between us and them, that is. It’s a small batch this week but still good for a few laughs on our part
As always, names and other identifying information have been redacted to protect the ignorant. Grammar and spelling have been left intact.
Received June 18, 2013
Subject: Info on Nigella Lawson choking
Just an FYI –
That move her husband used is a hand to hand combat technique where the fingers and thumb are pressed into and wrapped around the “adams apple”/esophagus.
It is not a safe move.
It is meant to control, silence and or seriously injure your opponent.
With it you can shut off speech. As increasing pressure is applied you can damage the voice, crack the esophagus, bruising tissue, cause swelling that will interrupt breathing, rupture veins and arteries, tear and dislodge the esophagus and if enough pressure is applied kill the person. All with one hand from the position he holds.
His intention may have been to control and quiet her, but this is far too dangerous a move to use on anyone outside of combat, let alone using it on a supposed loved one.
Received June 19, 2013
Subject: Landlord and tentant porblems,
I have gotten hurt and my daurther in this so call trap an i have been trying to talk to other people. They act like they are scared of him,one lady pointed me in the right way. Its a lot of things going on here. Ill talk i really need help getting justice! I have a 4yr old and a 8yr old,and some of these houses or unfit to stay in,i have falling off a 3 and a half foot prouch nothing done about it i fall through the bedroom floor my baby is having headaces. Im a father and i need answer,just getting the run around here. The hole town need to be checked out!!?? Thank you
This one I took pity on and wrote back to, to let him know he had not reached Fox.
