Bill O'Reilly has perfected the fine art of the Fox News fatwa which includes a relentless personal attack on Dr. George Tiller, a safe and legal abortion provider, even after Tiller's assassination. America's pastor (or is it mullah?) in chief has absolutely no qualms about attacking anybody with whom he doesn't agree. Frequently, in order to make these folks' lives miserable, he sends out his stalker/producer to harass them. On occasion, these folks get death threats. O'Reilly can give it; but he certainly can't take it as evidenced by his admonition to ignore "guttersnipes" and his seemingly paranoid screed about "enemies." So ya gotta laugh uproariously out loud over O'Reilly's latest bit of umbrage over how a "Salon" writer lampooned his commentary on the Jimmy Kimmel show. It appears that while O'Reilly can talk the talk about critics, he can't walk the walk!

Thursday, Bill proffered his nightly pearl of wisdom otherwise known as the "tip of the day" - a piece of advice that, as demonstrated in his tip to privately vent one's anger, Bill has had problems following, such as when he "terrorized" a female Fox employee. Bill began by proclaiming that he "usually ignores dishonest websites because they are legion" and "really not important." And, in the style of his comedic avatar, Steven Colbert, he put "Salon" on notice because, according to O'Reilly, they "need to be called out for a truly terrible situation."

What, you might ask, is this dreadful bit of mendacity directed towards the all knowing and all powerful baron of bloviation? It seems that "Salon" author, Prachi Gupta (O'Reilly dragged out the name just to make sure his barcalounger brigade knew that she was one those dark skinned furriners), had the sheer audacity to describe O'Reilly as (LOL) a "human picketing sign" who visited Jimmy Kimmel to talk about his interview with the president and pimp his Killing Jesus book. What, you might ask, is the problem with that? It seems that when Gupta noted that her readers can be a part of the O'Reilly presidential interview if they purchase a copy of his handwritten notes (which Colbert has also satirized). Her sin was that "this woman" (ewww, a dirty brown and possibly non-Christian female) didn't mention that the actual notes are being auctioned off for a veterans charity.

Bill shouted "somehow, that woman couldn't put that in" because "she's writing for morons." He blithered about how Ms. Gupta thinks because her readers don't watch O'Reilly, she "can say whatever she wants feeding them dishonest garbage all day long." (Oh, the irony). He accused the writer of being "vile, dishonest, disgraceful" (OH, THE IRONY!!!!) and advised his fans to "avoid smear websites."

He concluded with information about bidding for his signed original notes or getting a signed replica of this modern media masterpiece.

Here is is, your moment of Zen.

And BTW, check out Ms. Gupta's response to O'Reilly who, as she very accurately describes, is man who "wears anger like it's an expensive fashion accessory."

 And if you're interesting in bidding on Colbert's microwave, that he stole from O'Reilly's Green Room, you can do it here. The proceeds go to a veterans charity.