Bill O'Reilly Writes 'Killing Jesus' Cuz God Told Him To!

Move over all you Old Testament prophets who conversed with God. There's a new prophet in town who is hearing a voice telling him what to say. This modern day delusional has been instructed by God to write a "history" book that will bring joy to the multitudes and make the author even more obscenely rich ($10 million advance). While you might think that I'm talking about some crazed televangelist, who plays his flock for suckers, I'm talking about Fox News' Bill O'Reilly whose fan base also exemplifies that old PT Barnum adage. True story. Bill O'Reilly, like the Christian evangelists, was told by God to put pen to paper and write "Killing Jesus." At least that's what he told CBS's Norah O'Donnell in an interview to be aired tonight on "60 Minutes." But, as he said, being on God's speed dial doesn't make him "special." Awww, he's so humble!

While the DSM IV does not identify "messianic complex" as a diagnosable mental health disorder, it does cite "an over-inflated sense of self-worth, power, knowledge, or identity" as symptoms of "grandiose" delusional disorder. This descriptor would seem to fit nicely into Bill O'Reilly's newest claim given what he disclosed to Norah O'Donnell about his revelation which came to him "in the middle of the night." (Ahem!?!)

O'Reilly: "And I believe because I'm a Catholic that comes from the Holy Spirit. My inspiration comes from that...so I wrote "Killing Jesus" because I think I was directed to write that." Wow, who knew that God and Bill O'Reilly were so close? But it's all part of God's plan because, according to O'Reilly, "I'm just one of many who have been given gifts. I can write. I can bloviate on TV. So I'm trying to use the gifts in a positive way. And I believe that's all directed and that's why I'm here on the planet." (Hmmm, the DSM IV defines a Narcissistic Personality Disorder as a "mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for admiration.")

Bill also reminded viewers that he's a good Catholic and "not a holy roller or an Evangelical Christian." But he asserts that he goes to church and that if he doesn't attend Mass, he "falls so far behind in my repentance I can never catch up." (Word to Bill, even with weekly Mass, there's still a huge deficit.)

So Bill O'Reilly is like those who, according to religious traditions, wrote the Bible. Koran, and the Book of Mormon on instructions from a deity. Who knew?! Not only that, but he's using his "gifts" to benefit us mere mortals. Hosanna in the highest?

(Caravaggio must have been prescient when he painted the face of St. Matthew, who is being inspired to write his gospel, in the likeness of Bill O'Reilly!)

The video has Bill's CBS commentary along with reaction from Huffpo commentators.

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Showing 12 reactions

commented 2013-09-30 09:56:33 -0400 · Flag

Deuteronomy 13 (on false gods):
A man who tells what is going to happen or a dreamer of dreams may come among you. He may give you something special to see or do a powerful work.
-—
Before the O’Liely interview there was a segment on the link between mass murderers, schizophrenia, and hearing voices. Coincidence? They report, you decide.

commented 2013-09-30 09:46:49 -0400 · Flag

Another edition in the "Killing "series,this too will end up in the 50 cent bin,or shipped to Afghanistan outhouses.

commented 2013-09-30 05:36:41 -0400 · Flag

Perfect take, Black Jesuscom

All that talk about being good Christians is immediately belied by actions more befitting to their true God: money.

commented 2013-09-29 18:56:22 -0400 · Flag

2:54 A.M. EDT GOD: Hello? Billo: Who the !&^%$$( is calling me at 3 o’clock in bleeping morning? GOD: God here Junior Biilo: yes Mr. Ailes? GOD: no the real Big G, listen, Junior, my kid has been after me to get another book written about Him. i’m just not up to it, He says you’re Aces with Him, what with your annual Fighting of the War On Christmas. Will you do it? Billo: Only if you promise to appear on the Factor, God. GOD: No can do, Junior, at my age too much of a strain on your make-up man. He’s got his hands full just getting you ready. Billo: I guess I can do it if you make the money right. I know how troublesome kids can be.

GOD: Ha! You should, I heard from your old man often enough of what a pain in the ass you were back in the 50s and 60s. Billo: Dad never could keep his mouth shut. GOD: It’s a deal then. I’ll arrange a little promo for you on 60 MINUTES. Billo: With those Liberals??? Oh what the Hell, more camera time for me. Okay. We will chat again? GOD to GOD? GOD: Don’t call me I’ll call you.

commented 2013-09-29 17:42:16 -0400 · Flag

Does Bildo check God’s caller ID before he answers?

commented 2013-09-29 16:44:10 -0400 · Flag

Last year God told Pat Robertson that Romney would win. Now this. Did it ever occur to these two that God has a warped sense of humor and likes to play with their heads?

commented 2013-09-29 16:40:55 -0400 · Flag

I was listening in on the conversation between Billdo and the “lord” and when the “lord” started to tell Billdo about how a rich man has as much chance of getting into heaven as a camel passing through the eye of a needle, I heard a “click” on Billdo’s end!

I’m pretty sure he was Lying to Norah O’Donnell’s face as well as the viewers!

commented 2013-09-29 16:35:11 -0400 · Flag

I’m with Jan Hall on this!

commented 2013-09-29 16:09:59 -0400 · Flag

I’d like to type a response but I’m laughing to hardddddddddddddd.

commented 2013-09-29 15:37:28 -0400 · Flag

It’s obvious, Viz…. their god is a vampire and must sleep during the daytime.
And he’s quite the jokester……..that’s why we have Michelle Bachmann, Rick Santorum and Sarah Palin.

NewsHounds posted about Bill O'Reilly Writes 'Killing Jesus' Cuz God Told Him To! on NewsHounds' Facebook page 2013-09-29 15:05:23 -0400

Bill O'Reilly Writes 'Killing Jesus' Cuz God Told Him To!

commented 2013-09-29 14:29:56 -0400 · Flag

Isn’t that special?

God just told me to tell you Bill that you also must give 100% of the profits to charity, and when God tells you to do something you don’t mess around boy.