As a homo hating, Jesus loving, fried food ingesting American, Todd Starnes has taken it upon himself to comment on the decadent state of American culture. As such, it must have caused him great angst when he "observed" a Brooklyn Pride parade in order to inveigh against the OMG, leather chaps and thongs worn by some of the participants. And while we don't know if he actually OMG watched the VMA awards, he was obviously familiar enough with it in order to write a column - after which he must have taken at least one cold shower before taking to his bed with his bible. So as a public service, ace culture clubber Starnes offers Fox readers (?!) his take on all the "debauchery" during "the great big freak show celebrating all that is wrong with American culture." Is it me or there something deeply unsettling about Todd Starnes writing about "twerking?"

Being a celibate Christian, who is saving it for Jesus, it must have been difficult for Todd to write about Lady Gaga's "private parts" and Miley Cyrus' twerking which, as defined by Todd, "is a sexually provocative form of dancing that involves lots of jiggling." I do wonder if Todd's blood pressure went up as he wrote about how Miley Cyrus was "simulating relations with a stuffed animal" and "incessantly scratching her nether-regions." (I didn't think that good, chaste Christians, like Todd, even knew about"relations" and "nether regions," let alone write about them!) Was Todd trying to be amusing with his comment about how a Duck Dynasty guy would have grabbed a weed whacker to attack the flowers coming from Lady Gaga's private parts? Or was he reflecting some violent, voyeuristic fantasy? Oh, no, good conservative Christians would never have weird fantasies? Right?

Anyway, the photo beside his Fox News column, which will now be a regular feature, isn't the same Todd that we see on Fox TV or the Facebook Todd. I guess TV does pile on the pounds!?