In addition to being a sanctuary for persecuted Christians, Fox & Friends also engages in some proselytizing which spreads the gospel of Fox god Roger Ailes and shows those filthy atheists just what they're missing. Every so often, an almost tearful Gretchen Carlson brings on somebody who briefly got off of life's highway, arrived in heaven (never hell), and returned to the land of the living. In 2010, Gretch spoke with an 11 year old who returned to earth after having met Jesus (he must have gone to Christian heaven) and his miscarried sister. In December, Gretch interviewed a neurosurgeon who also went to heaven and wept as he explained that the children killed in the Newtown massacre won't remember the pain of what happened to them. And this morning, as the grown-ups on MSNBC discussed stuff like North Korea and women's entrepreneurship, Gretch spoke with a woman who made the round trip and is selling a book about it.
Gretchen got a little misty as she asked Crystal McVea about her heavenly experience. McVea claimed that her heart stopped during a surgical procedure during which she received too much peyote anesthesia. Gretch grilled McVea about what God looked like. (OH, Gretch, he's this awesome white dude with an American flag pin and a button that says Romney/Ryan 2012!) McVea said that she saw “A brightness I could feel, taste, touch, hear, smell, that infused me. Not like I had five senses, but maybe like I had 500 senses.” (Maybe the smell was from the hospital cafeteria?) Gretch wanted to know if God spoke (OH, Gretch, he speaks English only!) McVea said that he spoke; but not through words and that she was only "allowed to remember a few things." (Fox News good, very, very good). What was interesting was that after McVea described God as a brightness, she and Gretch continued to use the masculine pronoun "he." (Does brightness have a penis?)
Just like in any religious revival "testifying," McVea said that she had been a terrible sinner (despite attending church) but know she knows that God loves her. She preached that “my message is simple: if he could free somebody like me and love somebody like me, then he loves us all." Can somebody give me an amen!
And if you want to know more, her book is only $10.37 on Amazon
There are scientific explanations for the "near death experience" - but you won't hear about them on Fox & Friends which knows that Jesus saves and atheists suck. And if anybody's near death experience puts them into a celestial Fox studio, they've died and gone to hell!
vacuous
hedonistic
and
assimilated.
But, ‘Zig Heil’??
That’s the problem with being a parrot for the RW talking hacks: you really just don’t know anymore that they tell you. The more you say or write, the tougher it gets to appear witty, or even educated. Why don’t you just give us a few ’LOL’s like you usually do and embrace your dumb fuckitude, eh?
At the same time, I can’t buy into most religion- Almost every holy book I read, their God seems to secretly favour the absolute worst people alive during the period where he chose to personally intervene.
Fuck that, I want something where you pay your time if you were an asshole on Earth, then you get your adventure/time in Paradise before you get reborn or join the universe.
Bring tissues.
Yogi Berra.
Death will be a great relief. No more interviews.
Katherine Hepburn
I don’t believe in dying. It’s been done. I’m working on a new exit. Besides, I can’t die now— I’m booked. I can’t afford to die— I’d lose too much money.
George Burns
It proves what they always say: give the public what they want and they’ll come out for it. (On Harry Cohn’s funeral)
Red Skelton
I want to die like my father, peacefully in his sleep, not screaming and terrified, like his passengers.
Bob Monkhouse
