Bill Hemmer, a "devout Catholic" (one of many in the Vatican's America's Newsroom), attended Catholic high school long after I did back in the good (?) old days when Catholic students were taught that Jesus and the Pope wanted you to save your body until marriage - at which point sex was only for reproductive purposes. One assumes that the message hadn't changed all that much in Bill's happy, high school days; but one also assumes that Hemmer's cohort were equally, if not more, insouciant about the message than we were. But based on Bill's line of questioning and seeming validation of Concerned Woman for America, Penny Nance's positions (Heterosexually married and "missionary" only) it would appear that Fox News' "bantam boy toy" is still drinking the Kool-Aid which is only fitting as he's still single (so guys and gals, there's still hope) and, as such, is morally obligated to abstain. But it seems like he just doesn't understand those who don't. Oh, well....

Yesterday, Bill leaned into the camera and looking oh-so-serious, reported that a NY high school is distributing condoms to students as they leave their senior prom. He didn't report that the school already distributes condoms. Bill reminisced that "we were lucky to have a corsage" and asked Penny Nance, President of the homophobic "family values" group, "Concerned Women for America" what she thought. As expected she ranted, in her best nasal accented Southern twang, about how this "advocacy" intrudes into parental responsibility. She claimed that kids abstain from sex because of their moral values, faith, and their relationship with their parents and it's just so nasty when a school steps into that relationship as that "makes it that much difficult for the kids to abstain." Hemmer provided some validation with "that could be."

Dr. Cathleen London provided a dose of reality with statistics about how the highest rates of teen births are in states with abstinence only education. As she provided real data, Penny just kept shaking her pretty, lil head. When London said that states with comprehensive sex ed have much lower birth rates, Penny tried to say that it wasn't true and London opened a can of clinical whoop-ass with a well placed "that's from the CDC and I'm not done." She added thatAmerica, with its teen pregnancy rate nine times the rate of other developed nations, is an "embarrassment."  She pointed out that the school is not telling the kids to have sex; but if they do, they should protect themselves.

One wonders if Bill was speaking for himself when he said that what folks like Penny are saying is "what this does is" (his voice becoming soft and paternal) "that it sends a signal to teenagers that normalizes teen sex." Nance blithered about how it's "normal to abstain" and that we should help parents by not allowing schools to get between them and their children because that's a "big nanny state." (ROFLMAO - Betcha Nance had no problem with the idea of government, in the form of a plastic rod, being "inserted" into a woman's vagina!) As she brayed about how "parents are outraged," Hemmer said he "understood the point" that she was making. He wanted to know why Penny's point wasn't valid.

Dr. London said that all the school is doing is saying that it's "responsible to use a condom." Penny shook her head when London, citing CDC data, said that it's a "proven fact that abstinence only education has failed over and over." Penny whined about condom failure rates and how this is "initiating" kids "into sex on prom night." Bill helped out his fellow conservative when he said, to London, that "Penny's point is that this isn't the role of the schools." He asked London if Nancy's position is defensible. Bill had a concerned and quizzical look as Londonsaid that parents are failures if they haven't taught their kids about sex by the time they're 15. Bill gave us his best boyish grin and joked that "I was thinking a bad band, a rented tuxedo, would probably make the night complete."

Hopefully Martha MacCallum was reflecting on the intensity of the discussion rather than sexual tension when she remarked that "it's kinda hot in here." Bill gave us his best boyish grin. Hey, if Bill ever quits his day job, maybe he could star in the sequel to "40 Year Old Virgin!"