Fox News specializes in fomenting fear of Islamic terrorism. So you imagine Fox's reaction if a dark skinned man, in traditional Middle Eastern garb, was allowed to pass through an airport gate in order to reunite a plane passenger with an object left behind in the seating area! Fox talkers would be calling for sending both the potential Islamic terrorist and the gate staff to Gitmo for waterboarding. But when it's done by a petite, baby faced, white guy wearing a Roman Collar, it's all shits and giggles from the Fox friends who, on Sunday, were quite amused by official Fox priest, Fr. Jonathan Morris', airport escapade. In what seems to be yet another in a string of self aggrandizing and possibly apocryphal attempts to garner the kind of gushing adoration reserved for Catholic saints, Fr. Morris regaled the curvy couch crew with his tale of a heroic airport action that garnered him a "huge ovation." Nice to know the airport folks are so trusting?! Hopefully Al Qaeda wasn't watching.
Famous dick, Tucker Carlson cued up the topic; i.e. the future of the papacy. But Fox's one true priest, Fr. Jonathan Morris told the gang to put that thought on hold while he told them about "one of the funniest things that ever happened to me in my life." He told his pals that he had taken a "red eye" flight from California the previous evening. He wouldn't reveal the airport because "he didn't want to get anybody in trouble."
ROFLMAO - Fr. Morris told his Facebook fans that he was in the "Burbank" airport which would appear to be the Bob Hope airport as that is the only airport in Burbank which has flights to NY City, Morris' destination.
He explained that while he was on his way to the bathroom, he saw two women who were trying to get on a plane. He speculated that they "had a couple of drinks and forgotten where they were" because they left behind a vase of roses which the waitress noticed. Morris told the waitress that he would "run" the roses to the gate. Morris said that when he got to the gate he asked the attendant if she could bring the roses onboard the plane; but she, apparently seeing his collar, urged him to bring the flowers on the plane. Morris claimed that he walked onto the tarmac and then, with his best jazz hands, described how everybody on the plane was staring at him as he brought this "big vase of roses."
Barely able to contain his exuberance, Morris described how, after he got a "big hug" from "the lady," everybody gave him a "huge ovation." The curvy couch gang laughed hysterically and Alysin Camerota joked about "how we all need to dress as priests." (Are ya listening Al Queda?) Morris then told his pals that ladies got the roses at a taping of "The Bachelor."
Hardeharhar, isn't funny and just so awe inspiring that Fr. Morris was able to board a plane for which he had no ticket, in order to reunite a woman with her roses!!! But that wasn't the only wonderful thing that Morris did in California. According to his Facebook, he took a homeless man out to lunch which is an improvement over his last encounter with a NY homeless man who only got to hit golf balls with the padre who used the occasion to drum up church membership. And if Morris is filling out his sainthood resume, it pales next to his Christmas miracle (only two are requited for Catholic canonization) when he, in front of awe inspired hospital staff, was able to calm an agitated dying man down to the point where the patient accepted Jesus. (Yeah, I know...)
As we speak, Fr. Morris is in Rome where he can provide comfort to whoever is in need. Hopefully, the security on the international flights was better than that at "Burbank" Airport where Fr. Jonathan Morris, in the name of roses, violated security - and bragged about it! Oh that "Fr. Jon" - have collar, will travel!
Also, the way he told it had too much of an air o’ “I’m white, so suck it!” to minorities.