Former Fox News contributor Tamara Holder told CNN about the aftermath of having a Fox executive “pull out his penis in his office and shove my head on it.”

Former Fox News contributor Tamara Holder, a lawyer who gave up her practice to join Fox, risked a possible lawsuit as she tested the bounds of her non-disclosure agreement that settled her sexual harassment claim against Fox. Rather than a picture of women who were trying to cash in on “nonsense,” as Rupert Murdoch recently suggested, Holder detailed the personal and financial costs to women who come forward. 

Holder said her settlement agreement only allowed her to discuss her experiences because Murdoch had “disparaged” and/or “maligned” her with his comments dismissing sexual harassment at Fox as a few “isolated incidents” and “a bit of flirting.”

HOLDER: He ruined—Fox News ruined people’s lives. He ruined my life. I don’t have a job in TV anymore because the place that he has secured down like Fort Knox allowed abusive predators to prey on women who just wanted to work. That is not nonsense. This is people’s lives.

[…]

We just wanted to work. That’s all we’ve ever wanted to do, was work. And it has nothing to do with politics.

He says that there were cases that amounted to flirting. Let me be clear. I had a man pull out his penis in his office and shove my head on it. That was not flirting. That was criminal. That was not sexual harassment. There are no gray areas, whatever Matt Damon recently said. This is criminal. And I’m not the only case. There are just women who can’t speak out.

[...]

There’s something else about my agreement. And they’ll probably sue me. My agreement said that I couldn’t ever apply for a job at any Fox News corporation. I could never work for Fox News or any other place that Fox News owned. Here in Chicago, Fox News owns media entities, and—or 21st Century Fox. So I am now being punished, on top of not having a career in TV, I can’t even apply for a job because he allowed me to be abused in his workplace and didn’t protect me? And I can’t work anywhere now? There’s something wrong with me?

It’s just pain, on top of pain, on top of pain. ... Like, I had to do an MDMA, illegal therapy, to deal with my PTSD, because I couldn't function. And thankfully, it's helped me, but I just want to work. 

[…]

I’m not making a plea for myself. I’ll be OK. But hire one of us. It’s nice that we’re on to talk about this, but you have all this talent sitting at home, dying inside. We just want to work. Bring us back. Allow us to do what we did before we were abused.

You can’t miss the pain in Holder’s voice as she speaks.

Watch her tell her story below, from the December 17, 2017 Reliable Sources.

(Transcript excerpts via Media Matters)