If you're looking for a testosterone infused sausage fest of extreme machismo, look no further than Bill O'Reilly's rap sessions with "comedian" and co-host of "The Five" Greg Gutfeld and Bernard McGuirk, Imus sidekick, who once referred to female African-American college basketball players as "hard core hos." When these three Catholic, former altar boys get together it's open season on women, gays, and anybody else that isn't part of their white, patriarchal, Christian boyz club. Included in this list of those who aren't part of O'Reilly's manly locker room posse are the male hosts on MSNBC who, according to Gutfeld and McGuirk, don't score high on the macho scale. That's right folks, the 5 foot 5 Gutfeld and the skinny, skin headed McGuirk actually impugned the manliness of MSNBC hosts during a discussion about a recent study that correlates the size of men's biceps with their conservatism. We know that McGuirk and Gutfeld are conservative but it's about the biceps thing....
Bill O'Reilly reported that a new study showed that strong men are more likely to be conservative and "men who are weak are more likely to go left." While Bill explained that the study looked at bicep size he didn't mention that it also looked at socio-economic class and that the questions were targeted to views on income redistribution. Bill also didn't mention that there was no difference, in political orientation, between strong and not so strong women.
When O'Reilly joked that Gutfeld might be an exception to the study, Gutfeld informed us that he had been the editor of "Men's Health" and that his "abs had abs." To O'Reilly's surprise that he held the position, Gutfeld said that he was in it for a year "until they found out my secret." (He was fired). Gutfeld said that the study was "obvious" because "almost all professional athletes are *conservative" because "team sports and scoring relies on results, a plus b equals C and if you're a liberal, a plus b equals racist." (The San Francisco Chronicle has an interesting analysis of this topic which looks at "binary" thinking that is required in sports and how that attracts those of a certain mindset.)
McGuirk wasted no time in insulting "the whiny, pencil neck wimps on MSNBC" who "look like the characters, the dweebs on the show The Big Bang Theory." To O'Reilly's question of whether he really believed it, McGuirk said it was "plausible." O'Reilly cited Alec Baldwin who is a "burly" guy. McGuirk "joked" that maybe "he probably did a lot of drugs when he was younger." He paraphrased "the great Charles Krauthammer who said that real men do not suck at the teat of big government." O'Reilly added "they make it on their own."
McGuirk cited Charlton Heston, John Wayne, and Ronald Reagan as examples of shining conservatism while O'Reilly interjected that great chair prop conservative Clint Eastwood. McGuirk said that "they have Woody Allen, John Stewart, and Bill Maher, these scrawny dudes." (All far more successful than McGuirk and Gutfeld) Gutfeld went into the realm of fiction to say that all action heroes are conservative because in order to fight evil, you gotta believe in evil to fight it. (Does Gutfeld realize that those who fought for Civil Rights fought against evil and they weren't conservative) While O'Reilly didn't know what Arnold Schwarzenegger was, he opined that Stallone is conservative. (And used performance enhancing drugs, too!)
So by the standards of the study, Steve Doocy should be a raving communist. And I dare either McGuirk or Gutfeld to tell Ed Schultz that he's a "pencil neck geek." (Who even talks like that anymore?!) Gutfeld and McGuirk have a lot of nerve defaming the masculinity of MSNBC hosts when, if size matters, they fall short in more ways than just muscles. I'm talking about brain size. Beyond that I don't want to even think about it. Ewww....
*Here is a list of some athletes who voted for Obama.
Real men would waterboard for charity to benefit our troops. High End Hannocchio is not a man. His parents raised a always complaining, street-dragging wuss.
Gutless Gutfeld has a body of midget. He would be a shoo-in for the role of a Munchkin for a Broadway version of the “Wizard of Oz.”
Billy’s body. Well…the years has not been good to him.
Fat men lean conservative, ask Ailes. Just leave out the word “lean.”
But when he gets together with his fellow teevee idiots (such as McGuirk, Gutfeld, Corolla, etc.) who, like him, are so often full of sound/fury signifying nothing, it becomes completely juvenile. What are these guys – 7th graders?! Geez.
Three. One to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.
What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant?
Any place without a drive-up window.
What makes a man think about a candlelight dinner?
A power failure.
Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?
Because if they all went, it would be Hell.
What’s the best way to force a man to do sit ups?
Put the remote control between his toes.
What’s the difference between Big Foot and intelligent man?
Big Foot’s been spotted several times.
What’s the smartest thing a man can say?
“My wife says…”
Why did God create man before woman?
He didn’t want any advice.
Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.
Have a safe Memorial Day weekend everyone!
And dead. Don’t forget dead.*
Yeah. Let’s all remind FoxNoise viewers of their own impending mortality by bringing up a bunch of dead white guys as “examples of shining conservatism.” I’m not sure but if I were a FoxNoise viewer who considered myself to be a “shining conservative,” I think I’d like to have some slightly younger—and more alive—people being named as those “examples.” Of course, I still have functioning brain cells. Not really sure about the average FoxNoise viewer.
*(That’s from an episode of “The Golden Girls.” Sophia’s reading the obituaries and comes across Blanche’s name. Blanche reads the article aloud and sees that her age is incorrectly listed and is outraged over the age, saying something along the lines of “68. They said I’m 68?” To which Dorothy replies, “and dead.” Later in the episode, Blanche makes another reference to the wrong age listing to which Dorothy again says, “and dead. Why does she keep forgetting dead?”)
Neither of whom went overseas and actually fought in WWII.
