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October 28, 2011

Why Is Aunty Em Apologizing To Steve Doocy?

Twitter has several problems. One of them is the 140 character limit. If I could keep my thoughts to 140 characters, I never would have become a professional writer. Another problem with Twitter is that when one starts to follow people (okay, these are problems I have with Twitter), it becomes so easy to snipe at them. Those two problems merged yesterday morning and the end result is an unreserved apology to my newest Twitter friend, Foxy Friend Steve Doocy. Maybe I should start at the beginning and, as with many other apologies, it all began with a non-thinking tweet:

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Reported by Aunty Em at 8:12 AM

October 26, 2011

Obviously Laura Ingraham Didn’t Get Memo On The Phony War On Halloween

It’s always been fairly obvious when a Fox “News” guest has met with a segment producer prior to an interview. Not only does the guest echo the meme du jour word-for-word, but often the on-screen graphics display exactly what the pundit is saying, word-for-word. That’s not coincidence; that can only happen through careful coordination. Which is why the following segment is so funny/strange/bizarre/inexplicable. (Pick one.) Laura Ingraham can always be expected to come onto Fox “News” and go with the flow. However, something clearly went haywire yesterday when, after a typical President Obama-bashing interview, the Foxy Friends suddenly asked her about the Phony War On Halloween. Not only didn’t she know which side of the question she was supposed to endorse, she didn’t even understand the question. I nominate this as the most (unintentionally) hilarious segment broadcast on Fox since Eric Massa appeared on Glenn Beck’s old show. Watch:

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Reported by Aunty Em at 8:29 AM

October 25, 2011

Against All Facts Fox’s Phony War On Halloween Grows More Incomprehensible

When Fox “News” starts hammering at a meme it’s never hard to figure out why. Usually it falls into one (or more) of the following rubrics: Defending the GOP; defending the Teabaggers; defending the latest Republican to say something stupid; attacking President Obama; deflecting blame of President George W. Bush by attacking Obama; deflecting blame of the GOP by attacking Obama; defending Jesus; defending Christians; defending the flag; and defending Patriots both true and phony. That’s why Fox’s Phony War on Halloween™ is so incomprehensible. To start, it doesn’t fall into any of the above categories. Furthermore, the holiday itself seems to be diametrically opposed to Fox Audience Values™. In fact, there are whole swaths of ‘Merkin Fundamentalist Communities (traditionally a big part of the Fox “News” audience) who believe that Halloween is the devil’s holiday and, if they had their way, they’d ban it. Furthermore, the aims of those who wish to moderate the holiday (during school hours) would seem to dovetail with several Fox memes, mostly those about how the educational system is failing our children. So, when The Foxy Friends on Fox and Friends doubled down yesterday and called it an “all-out assault on Halloween,” I listened extra carefully to see if I could hear the dog whistle. Watch:

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Reported by Aunty Em at 11:11 AM

October 23, 2011

The Fox Phony War On Christmas Extended To A Phony War On Halloween

The Fox “News” Phony War On Christmas has gone so well, the network has decided to extend it to other holidays. It’s all a part of The Good Fight™ against what Gretchen Carlson has often claimed is “political correctness run amok.” Which is why, for the last few days, the Foxy Friends on Fox and Friends have been attacking public schools that are attempting to moderate, or eliminate, Halloween celebrations (only during school hours when children are supposed to be learning). However, it’s curious. It’s not like the Halloween has any link to Jesus or flag-waving or even a flag-waving Jesus—the usual reasons for the Foxy Friends to defend holiday nostalgia. One wonders why they would even bother defending Halloween. Thankfully, Fox and Friends Weekend answered that question yesterday. Watch, and read along, as they venerate Halloween as vehemently as they usually do the baby Jesus’ birthday:

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Reported by Aunty Em at 10:33 AM

October 21, 2011

Does Stephen Colbert Read News Hounds?

When I read Priscilla’s post yesterday “Bill O'Reilly's Book Went Down In Flames!” about a soldier in Afghanistan burning complimentary copies of “Pinheads and Patriots,” I knew it would only be a matter of time before Stephen Colbert, of The Colbert Report, would come to Papa Bear’s defense. Especially after Priscilla said, “At any rate, it's too bad that the soldiers couldn't have used the pages for toilet paper which would be appropriate given that the stuff on the paper is pulled from Bill's ass!” Leave it to Colbert to try and put Priscilla’s words in the best possible light when he spun one for The No Spin Zone: “First of all, soldier, there are plenty of ways Papa Bear's books can be useful on the front lines. You can use them as sand bags, or as armor for a Humvee, or, you know you guys always need toilet paper. I'm sure Bill would be honored.”

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Reported by Aunty Em at 11:47 AM
Bill O'Reilly Hiding His Ring Finger?, reported by Priscilla,
Mike Huckabee Hearts Homophobic Hater, reported by Priscilla,
Fox News Ignores L'Affaire Ensign?, reported by Priscilla,