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Jon Stewart Tells Fox News: You Spend 24 Hours A Day Jerking Yourself Off

Posted by Ellen -7859.80pc on March 27, 2015 · Flag

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Jon Stewart gave Fox News quite a comedic shellacking last night. And while his takedown was much broader than Megyn Kelly, she may well have needed another hankie after watching it.

Stewart began by honing in on Kelly’s hypocritical self-righteousness for not “rushing to judgment” over Michael Brown and Ferguson.

“Fox is nothing but a rush to judgment in every situation,” Stewart noted.

But after playing a clip of Kelly and Fox's media critic, Howard Kurtz, complaining that no other media outlet would acknowledge Fox's awesomeness, Stewart shot back, "That is newsworthy when Fox is right." So, “To honor that time you were right," Stewart added, "We got you a Fudgie the Whale. (He brought out a Fudgie the Whale cake, with 'You were right!' written on it) Because, you know why? We think you’re a whale of a network - in that we’ve been chasing you our whole lives and just can’t kill you.”

Then, Stewart called on "liberal Hollywood," in the form of George Lucas, to further honor “this singular achievement of you being right.” Lucas promised he will only make movies “that are blindly uncritical of America.”

Of course, to really honor Fox, Lucas should have promised movies that are “blindly uncritical” of conservative America.

Nonetheless, Lucas pledged “The Empire Strikes Back Justifiably,” “American Exceptionalism Graffiti,” “Star Wars: the Reagan Missile Defense Version” and “The Clinton Menace.”

Stewart concluded with a zinger: Noting Fox’s relentless self-congratulations, Stewart said, “I get it now. Your network launched in 1996; you’re 18 years old. Just like every other 18-year old, you have a massive ego and spend 24 hours a day jerking yourself off.”

Boom!

Watch it below, from last night’s The Daily Show.

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    Review the site rules
Hulk commented 2015-03-28 02:51:32 -0400 · Flag
Spot on!
john howard commented 2015-03-27 15:51:00 -0400 · Flag
WOW!!!!!!LMAO
NewsHounds posted about Jon Stewart Tells Fox News: You Spend 24 Hours A Day Jerking Yourself Off on NewsHounds' Facebook page 2015-03-27 15:09:06 -0400
Boom!








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