Fox News Radio has put together a little extravaganza called “Todd Starnes All-American Christmas.”  But considering its cast of white, right-wing Christians, a better name would probably be “Todd Starnes’ America-The-Way-We-Wished-It-Was Christmas.”

Here’s how Fox Nation describes the upcoming special:

Fox News Radio is proud to present a celebrity-packed, two-hour Christmas special from Bellevue Baptist Church in Memphis, Tennessee! Todd’s special guests include: Sarah Palin,  “Duck Dynasty” star Al Robertson, Grammy winner Chris Tomlin, Singer Songwriter Ellie Holcomb, America’s Favorite Inspirational Author Karen Kingsbury and new musical artist Kyle Kupecky.

“All American” Sarah Palin recently put her patriotism and Christian spirit on display in a recent Facebook post smearing our president, his supporters and anyone else who doesn’t think torture is an American value:

America Asks: “Whose Side Are You On”; Necessarily Directing This At Our President

In debauched minds it is fine for our young, once potentially unifying President to boast, “I’m pretty good at killing” while speaking of his own secret kill list, but all hell breaks loose if America’s expert and experienced CIA keeps known terrorists up at night for questioning, plays annoying music to get the evil ones’ attention, and considers whatever else necessary to keep us safe. (Yuck it up much, Nobel Peacenik President?)

…True Americans say “never again.” These perpetrators are evil monsters sharing dark demonic intentions with radical Muslims who are beheading Christian children today overseas. True Americans serving as watchmen on the wall say, “Not on our soil. Not on my watch.” And any American-loving leader should promise, “Whatever it takes to stop evil, to protect this nation, we shall do.”

You’re on one side or the other. What is it, liberals: sympathy for inconvenienced terrorists who would murder our children or saving America?

"All American" Al Robertson thinks his father, Duck Dynasty patriarch Phil Robertson, was a victim of Satan when he was criticized for his homophobic and racist views. From Right Wing Watch:

Robertson said his father was a victim of a plot by “the Evil One,” who wants to “derail [his] message” about “a return to godliness,” which apparently includes waxing nostalgic about Jim Crow and smearing gays and lesbians.

…Later in his remarks, Robertson prayed that the heathens outside of the Values Voter Summit (where he was speaking) will one day become just as wise and godly as the Robertson clan: “I pray for even our American brothers and sisters who aren’t there yet, I pray for them, because I want our nation to rise up and be great again.”

Of course, this is exactly the kind of America Todd Starnes longs for. But what about the rest of us?

(H/T NewsHound Margarita)