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The Annotated Glenn Beck CPAC Speech

Reported by Ellen - March 1, 2010 -

Guest blogged by Aunty Em

Once a year the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) invites the rightest of the right wing to gather at some predetermined location to stamp their hooves and trumpet enough Talking Points that the so-called Left Wing Media spends days giving them free publicity. Previous CPAC Festivals have made headlines with the likes of Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter using the podium to say incendiary things. This year, not to be outdone, former Congressman Tom Tancredo opened with a xenophobic and racist attack on American voters—that made headlines of its own. However, it bookended perfectly this year’s final Keynote Speaker, Mr. Glenn Beck.

The choice of Beck was a masterstroke. Say what you will, but he is one of the most talked about Media Personalities of late, and savior to the whole Teabagger/Republican/Conservative movement. The audience adored him, breaking into applause at least 44 times, laughter 20 times and a spontaneous chant once. Yet, he really provided more of the same old, same old. It’s as if his last year on Fox News Channel was little more than a rehearsal for this one speech (you can see it in its entirety here).

Hello. Please. Thank you. Please be seated. I have to tell you, I hate Woodrow Wilson with everything in me, God bless you.

Here we go with the Woodrow Wilson thing again. When the applause died, and before he began his speech proper, he kissed the ring of the defacto leader of the Right Wing.

Rush is a hero of mine and I – I’m listening to him [give his speech at last year’s CPAC], and my producer – I write him a text on my e-mail and he gave it [back] to me just this week. I wrote him last year, “Wow, what must that be like to give the keynote at CSPAC – at CPAC?” Here I am, today, and I cannot believe it.

Then came the most beautiful metaphor of America ever expressed by writers or poets. It was so clever and wonderful, so full of piquant imagery, that Beck began and ended his prepared remarks with this descriptive word picture, which touched the hem of the other leader of the Right Wing, even though he’s still dead.

It’s not just that Rush has done this, but also one of my other heroes, Ronald Reagan – how many times? Twelve? Because of Ronald Reagan, my grandfather, my father, I have a hope for America. I – I remember when Ronald Reagan talked about morning in America. I have always believed that, I have always wanted to believe that: that tomorrow is going to be better than it is today.
Here comes the beautiful metaphor.
The – people are losing a fundamental belief that it’s going to be better to – tomorrow. Let me tell you now: it is still morning in America. It just happens to be kind of a head-pounding-hung-over-vomiting-for-four-hours kind of morning in America. And it’s shaping up to be kind of a nasty day, but it’s still morning in America.

Only a recovering alcoholic would find this an apt way of describing his country. Over-the-top similes are a hallmark of his tee vee extravaganza, and in this The Beckster didn’t disappoint. However, no doubt to the displeasure of many, he left most of his props back in his New York studio. There were no red phones to the White House and no smashed cakes. Nor were there any frogs, toy soldiers, piles of money, or éclairs. However, he couldn’t resist one.

May I? May I? Let me – may I just for a second? Could I – could I just ask to bring a friend up?

The now-famous chalkboard was wheeled onstage and the reaction couldn’t have been greater than if Johnny Carson came back from the dead to solve the Late Night Talk Show War.

I mean it's sick – it’s sick when a chalkboard gets a standing ovation.

Thank you. You have no idea what it’s like to travel with one of these things, really. A Palm Pilot is the way to go. This is – try to get this in an overhead luggage compartment. It’s impossible.
Then it came time to break out the eliminationist rhetoric, just like on tee vee. On his “friend” he wrote P-R-O-G-R-E-S-S-I-V-I-S-M to more applause. Without pause he said,
This is the disease. This is the disease in America. It’s not just spending, it’s not just taxes, it’s not just corruption. It is progressivism. And it is in both parties. It is in the Republicans and the Democrats. I mean it’s – it really is. I mean, I’m so sick of hearing people say, oh, well the Republicans are going to solve it all. Really? It’s just progressive-lite that – lite. That’s like somebody sticking a screwdriver in your eye and saying, stop! Stop! And somebody else pulls it out and then puts a pin in your eye. I don’t want stuff in my eyes! Stop stabbing in the eyes!

Eye torture got some applause.

Progressivism is the cancer in America and it is eating our Constitution. And it was designed to eat the Constitution. To progress past the Constitution.

Quoting from a pamphlet he said was called “Progress and Democracy in Rhode Island,” whose obscure Communist author he didn’t identify, the Beckinator read some bullshit about the Constitution “outliving its usefulness” to some booing from the crowd that was now eating out of his hand.

It never ceases to amaze how Beck can quote some bizarre passages written more than 7 decades ago—by a nobody—as if it is the secret blueprint for a fundamental transformation of the country by the current occupant of the Oval Office.

Again Beck returned to a theme already rehearsed on his tee vee Conspiracy Cavalcade, but this time without the Beatles music, as he wrote “Revolution” and “Evolution” on the omnipresent chalkboard.

If I spell something wrong, you guys are going to kill me.

Revolution or evolution, that’s the difference. Revolution or evolution. Well, there’s no difference except one requires a gun and the other does it slowly, piece by piece, eating away at it, to the point to where now our people in Congress, they don’t even care. Have they even read – and I know they’re used to not reading things that are two-thousand pages – could they read this? It’s only four!

After a gratuitous and false attack on Van Jones by calling him a “self-confessed Communist,” Beck set his sights on other progressives.

We have a guy in the Republican Party [right now] who says his – his favorite president is Theodore Roosevelt. Well, I thought so too until I read Theodore Roosevelt. By the way, Theodore Roosevelt, the guy who started the Bull Moose Party, which was the progressive party.

Then he quoted what he claimed was Theodore Roosevelt. Much searching has revealed no matches for these quotations. However, absence of evidence is not evidence of absence. TR was one of our most prolific presidents, having written loads of books, and many magazine articles, before he was president, while he was president, and afterwards. It’s possible TR wrote it. It’s also possible TR said it because he gave hundreds of speeches.

It hardly matters. Quoting someone who served as POTUS more than 100 years ago, as if he’s still leading the Republican (or Bull Moose) Party is as absurd as quoting a 72 year old pamphlet by an unnamed Communist.

Is this what the Republican Party stands for? Well, you should ask members of the Republican Party, because this is not our founders’ idea of America. And this is the cancer that's eating at America.

Calling some Republicans a cancer garnered applause, like a crowd of oncologists already estimating their earnings should they be hired to remove the tumors. Beck seemed to be both reading their minds and demonstrating his bedside manner.

It is big government – it’s a socialist utopia. And we need to address it as if it is a cancer. It must be cut out of the system because they cannot co-exist. And you don’t cure cancer by – well, I’m just going to give you a little bit of cancer. You must eradicate it. It cannot co-exist. And we need big thinkers, and brave people with spines who can make the case – that can actually say to Americans: look it’s going to be hard – it’s going to be hard but it’s going to be okay. We’re going to make it.

Thank you Dr. Marcus WelBeck. Trotting out his everyman—who has conquered his own demons and stands ready to conquer the country’s—he went back to the metaphor that brought us here: the sloppy drunk.

I’m a – I’m a recovering alcoholic. I’m a recovering alcoholic, and um, I screwed up my life six ways to Sunday, and I believe in redemption. But the first step to getting redemption is you’ve got to admit you’ve got a problem. I have not heard people in the Republican Party yet admit that they have a problem. And when they do say they have a problem I don’t know if I believe them. I haven’t seen the come-to-Jesus moment of the Republican Party yet. I’ve voted Republicans almost every time in – every time I’ve gone. I – I don’t know what they even stand for any more. And they’ve got to recognize that they have a problem. Hello! My name is the Republican Party and I’ve got a problem. I’m addicted to spending and big government.

Referencing Alcoholics Anonymous seemed to strike a chord because it also got applause. It makes one wonder how many of them are recovering alcoholics.

Then he used Tiger Woods as a punching bag/analogy.

I don’t know if you saw Tiger Woods the other day, but some people don’t believe Tiger Woods, uh, that he was repentant. Some people are saying, well, he’s only sorry because he got caught. Well – yeah.

The audience always seemed to know just where to laugh, too.

I mean, you know, if drinking wasn’t causing me a problem in my life I’d be drunk right now.

They also seemed to know when to applaud, as they did here, but they could have been clapping at the idea of drunken Glenn Beck.

I mean, geez, if you’re making it with a whole bunch of unbelievable babes and nobody has a problem with it – yeah. Yeah. Now let me ask this of the Republican Party. You got caught. Are you sorry? And better yet – you know, when people said to me yesterday, well, Tiger Woods is Tiger Woods, is he really going to – you know, is he going to change? I don’t know. It may not be his bottom. And if not, we’ll all see another small blonde woman with a golf club chasing him.

More laughter followed by more of his “I’m just an average guy with a multi-million dollar salary” schtick.

But that’s his life. We’ll know through his – well, we won’t know – but his wife will know through his actions. So, when the Republican Party says, wow, I’ve got a problem, please don’t say you’re just like me. Oh, and I’m just like you. No you’re not. Because I would never go to Washington. You will. You’re not just like me and you’re not just like the rest of us. You are somebody who has said, okay, I’ll represent you. Did you check your soul at the door? Make sure you hang on to your soul. Now if you are just like me – if you are just like the average, everyday person you won’t lose your soul along the way.

It’s hard to know which is the more absurd assertion: that he’s an “average, everyday person” or that he has a soul.

Then the Becketeer read some long quotes from Tiger Woods, as if that sorry mess had anything to do with American politics. However, Beck was using Wood’s words of regret—“I brought this shame upon myself”—as a road map for politicians.

If I heard a party that said those words and I felt they meant it I would campaign for them, I would put a lawn sign in my yard, I would be happy to vote for them. But as of yet, I haven’t heard anyone say that. All they’re talking about is, we need a big tent. We need a big tent. Can we get a bigger tent? How can we get a big tent? What is this, the circus?

The laughter died naturally, with neither speaker nor audience seemingly aware that Beck was a self-confessed Rodeo Clown. Then he continued to show little self-awareness twice more.

America is not a clown show. America is not a circus. America is an idea. America is an idea that sets people free.

Glenn, you’re the circus, sideshow, and geek show all rolled into one. Showing no self-awareness that his vilification of the Obama administration and Progressives, along with his eliminationist rhetoric, shuts down public discourse, as opposed to generating it, Beck said,

I’m tired of feeling like a freak in America, and I know so many people are too. We – we don’t mind, you have a different opinion than me, that’s okay. You don’t agree with me, that’s okay. We’re never going to agree; there are 300 million of us, we’re never going to agree. How boring would life be if we all thought exactly the same thing? We wouldn’t really be able to create anything: it takes the exchange of ideas.

One cannot have an “exchange of ideas” if you label your opponent’s position as a “cancer” that has to be “cut out of the system.” Beck only wants an “exchange of ideas” as long as people are exchanging his ideas.

What does it mean to be a conservative? I don’t even know anymore. I know what it means to me. It means to me, personal responsibility. That if I’ve done something wrong, it’s up to me to pay the price. It’s up to me to make it right. Personal responsibility.

How is “personal responsibility” not the exact opposite of Tort Reform? Let’s not allow our legal system to redress an injustice, even though we know that doctors can sometimes fail.

We have a right to fail. We have a right to fail – no, no, this is a God-given right. We have a right to fail. Without failure there is no growth. Fifteen years ago, I was completely broke. I was completely out of control. I had no answers in my life, none. I was living in a little one-room apartment, I lost my family, everything. My whole life was spiraling out of control. I was on the fetal position of my – of my apartment. Am I going to die? Or I’m going to figure it out, and live. Because no one was there, if somebody would have been there to hold me up, I wouldn’t have been down here enough…

Proving he's the consummate actor, he dropped to his knees…

… to be able to dust myself off and say no, I’m not going to spend my life here, I’m going to stand up on my own two feet…

…and then he stood up on his own two feet, all proud-like.

… figure it out, and because of that failure I can stand here today.

Again applause swept over him. Then it was back to what Conservatives believe:

Conservatives believe that we are guaranteed the right to pursue happiness. We’re not guaranteed happiness; who can guarantee you happiness? Tiger Woods wasn’t happy. No one is guaranteed happiness. You can pursue it. But if you happen to find success along the way, on that road to happiness, conservatives believe you shouldn’t be demonized or penalized for it.

More applause.

We believe in the right of the individual. We believe in the right of the individual. We believe in the right, you can speak out, you can disagree with me, you can make your own path. But I’m not going to pay for your mistakes, and I don’t expect you to pay for my mistakes. We’re all going to make them, but we all have the right to move down that road. What we don’t have a right to is: health care, housing, or handouts. We don’t have those rights.

We don’t have those rights, yet, which is the ideological battle going on right now.

After talking about how he’s a college dropout, Beck related how he educated himself by going libraries—“Books are free”—without realizing that “some people say” public libraries are Socialist. They were never contemplated by The Founding Fathers. The Founding Fathers were rich enough to have all the books they wanted. They were also wealthy enough to afford all the health care that they wanted. Free schools, free libraries, free constabulary service, and free fire fighting battalions were just some of the communal services eventually formalized as a right that modern citizens expect government to provide. It matters little whether the Founding Fathers were silent on these issues, or not. Society evolves. A Constitution that doesn’t evolve along with it will fester and, quite possibly “out-live its usefulness.”

Note there are things in the Constitution called “Amendments.” Hell, there are Amendments that cancel previous Amendments. Despite what Beck wants you to believe, our Constitution is ever evolving and changing with the times and interpretations from the courts.

I educated myself, I went to the library – books are free. I went to the bookstore. I read until two – three o’clock in the morning some nights. I still read until two – three ‘clock in the mornings after everything’s done. I educated myself. My education was free, and I’m proud of that.

You get what you pay for.

Then came another attempt to make himself sound like an average person.

The small businessmen, like my father, or like me?

Beck may be technically a small businessman but his use of the term is misleading. Most small businessmen don’t make $23 million a year; small-minded businessmen maybe.

Then he returned to a theme he’s also road-tested on his tee vee show. In his fevered world, welfare—which he considers an entitlement—is not needed because…

As I read the Constitution – as I read the Constitution – as I read the words of the founders, really, the only job of the United States government is to save us from bad guys. Protect us from bad guys. And right now, it seems to me that our government looks at the American people as the bad guy. We’re not the bad guy. Stop penalizing us.

But, you say, Glenn, what about the poor people?

Americans also don’t need to be taught how to give. We don’t need to be taught how to take care of each other, or how to be charitable. We’re charitable automatically. Why? We’re Americans. In 2008, the American people gave $307 billion in charity. It was the second year in a row – this is the last statistic that we have. The – 2008 – second year in a row that it was over $300 billion. Per capita, that’s ten times the giving power of the people of France. Ten times the amount. Don’t tell me we need to be more like Europe. Europe should be looking over here. How do we do it?
Yet, there are millions of American youngsters living in homes without enough food. Of course, this means that Beck will be feeding these people because he doesn’t need to be taught how to be charitable, right? Not really.
In America, you can choose to be greedy. I was greedy for much of my life. Let me tell you something. Money is like sand. The harder you try to hold onto it the faster it will slip through your hands. Better yet, it’s like water. It’s like the ocean. It’s like the ocean. Back that truck up and get as much success as you want, and don’t protect it – if somebody stops you on the exit from the beach and says, can I get some of that water? You bet, take as much of that as you want, I’ll just back another truck up – there’s enough for all of us. This is America. There is no cap on success. There seems to be some sort of cap on willingness to search for success. That has to change in America.

Then to swing a bell he’s rung on his tee vee show before:

We need an understanding that life is not fair. It is not fair. The bad guy sometimes wins. Sometimes, O.J. Simpson gets away with it. Sometimes, the big banks fail. Sometimes the good banks fail. Not everybody gets a trophy. What is the point of competing for a trophy if everyone gets a trophy? Please stop teaching my children that everyone will get a trophy just for participating. What is this, the Nobel Prize?

After the applause and laughter died down:

No, that was – that was even beneath me, that was –

Please! He’s proven time and time again that there’s nothing that’s beneath him.

Not everybody gets a trophy. We should start correcting our children’s work in red ink again. I mean, I’m tired of – what are we, what are we spin the color wheel now? You corrected my child’s work in red ink. Yes I did. Well that’s a little traumatic. You know what’s even more traumatic? If little Johnny keeps getting these answers wrong, when he goes out into the big, bad world and he’s eaten. That’s worse.

If little Johnny starts quoting Glenn Beck’s version of history, when he goes out into the big, bad world people will think he’s a fool. However, Beck showed his true feelings, never expressed as succinctly as when he’s channeling his inner-Gordon Gekko.

There is some sort of element of competition to life. Oh that’s not natural. Really? Go watch the lions eat the weakest.

Social Darwinism at work. Let the weakest among us starve, or be fed to the lions like back in the good ol’ days.

He followed this up with a few paragraphs about making America competitive again and then returned to his puke metaphor.

Now how do we make ourselves competitive? You know what, I have to tell you something. I – I have for, what, four years now been ringing the bell: economic holocaust is coming. Economic day of reckoning is coming. And for a long time nobody would listen. Ah, he’s crazy crackpot just trying to stir people up. No, I’m trying to get you to save your money. I’m get – I’m trying to get you out of the room from the big party where everybody’s drunk – they’re going to be vomiting in morning in America soon.

Then back to another story line stolen from the tee vee show.

The depression – our values of goods fell by fifty percent. Our housing just fell eighteen percent, give you some – something to go by.

Wholesale prices, the largest drop in one year in our history – thirty-six point eight percent. Unemployment – started at eleven point eight. GNP – GNP fell twenty-four percent – give you some perspective, in ’08 we, uh, went up, eight – was it eight percent, no I’m sorry, uh, point four. In ’09 we dropped two point four.

Have it? This is the great depression of – 1920. Now, how come we never heard about the depression of 1920? In some ways, it was deeper and more profound than 1930. How come this one’s just a depression and the Great Depression was equal or maybe not as bad in some ways?

Keep the depression of 1920 in mind because we’ll be returning to it. Finally we get his reasons for hating that S.O.B. Woodrow Wilson.

Great [Depression] happened because of all of the progressive ideas to cure it – how was this cured? This is after Woodrow Wilson. After the war, after the progressives got into office with Woodrow Wilson, Teddy Roosevelt had his progressive party – hah ho ho, I’ve got big plans – and Woodrow Wilson said, well he’s a crazy man, I’m not going to be quite as progressive as that. So, uh, Woodrow Wilson gets in and he gives us the Fed. How’s that working out for us, huh?

So he gives us the Fed. Then he gives us the – let’s remember this America – progressive income tax. He gives us the income tax. Then he also says, you know what, boy people are just so stupid, they don’t know what’s good for them. Oh, they’re going to be so unhealthy, and we all want health care – Teddy Roosevelt was the first one to say, we should have universal health care. Oh they’re going to be unhealthy, we can’t get that universal health care thing done, but you know what we can do? We should limit some of their choices. Prohibition. So he took away the alcohol. Progressive plan to take care of everyone.

Then he promised he wasn’t going to get us into war, because they’re a party of peace – peace and progress – and we went right to World War I. Then they gave us the Treaty of Versailles, which I believe led to Hitler, but I could be mistaken on that.

Once again The Great Beck made an assertion which, like his Nixon lie of last year, he knew damn well could be supported. So, just like with his Nixon lie of last year, he added the small disclaimer “but I could be mistaken on that," thinking all would be good again. It's a ridiculous assertion because many factors led to the rise of Hitler and Nazism, but Beck probably didn't want his audience to think too hard. He only wants them to say, "Wilson, Versailles, Hitler! Of course! Beck's right again. Hitler is all Wilson's fault."

Then, the last thing was they say well we’re going to take care of everything, don’t worry about it, because right now what we’re going to do is we’re going to have a global organization oversee everything. The League of Nations. Well this is when America went nuts, and said, ah, ah, no, no thank you. No thank you.

So what did Woodrow Wilson say? I’m not kidding you. Well they don’t understand it. I’ve got to give more speeches. He got onto a train, and made whistle stops to give speeches, and people rejected it. Okay? Sound familiar at all? The American people rejected it, and they were so freaked out about the whole progressive movement that progressives decided to change their name – we’re liberals – ta ha, I hate those progressive things. We’re liberals, that’s what we are.

Ever notice, where did the progressives go; where did they come from? All of a sudden, I’m not a liberal, I’m a progressive. It was the opposite a hundred years ago. I’m not a progressive, I’m a liberal. I mean they keep – they keep changing their names. Every time they – every time they wake America up to their policies, they have to change their names. What are they going to be next, the Royal Order of the Orange? It doesn’t matter. They’re running out of names.

Yes, it’s all the Progressive Liberals fault. We know because he told us how Harding and Coolidge followed Wilson and saved the day by cutting taxes and spending.

So what happened? So what happened? Well, unemployment (Beck pointed to 11.8 figure, then wrote 1.8 next to it) – it is the lowest unemployment rate in peacetime in the history of America. It also caused the Roaring Twenties. And I can guarantee you they’re writing, probably right up there, right now, they’re writing, hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah, he’s saying the Roaring Twenties were good. Yes! The Roaring Twenties – it was the largest expansion of the middle class ever. It – people started having telephones, and that evil electricity, and cars, and radios.

People started having telephones, cars, electricity, and radio because they were all fairly new inventions and were now beginning to be priced low enough for some of the more prosperous middle class Americans to be able to afford them.

Doesn’t that contradict what he said earlier? If the Roaring ’20 were so great, how could that possibly lead to the Great Depression?

So what happened? What happened? Hoover came in. Hoover came in, a progressive [Republican], by the way. Hoover came in and said, really, what has to happen is, uh, we just – we’re going to leave the taxes here, but this is crazy (pointing to spending figure). We’ve got to spend more money. Everything shimmied apart. And people made stupid moves as well. But the reason why it didn’t turn around as quickly as it did in the 1920s is because the progressives said, I will save it. I will not waste this emergency. I will create agencies, and create agencies of help for the poor American that just can’t pull themselves out.

Hoover didn’t take office until March of 1929. Just six months later, in October, the stock market came crashing down on the nation and did not return to pre-1929 values until 1954. To place the blame entirely on Hoover, while ignoring the depression of 1920, and absolving Harding and Coolidge is a magic trick worthy of The Great Houdini.

Then some more histrionics, err, history, first referencing a painting of George Washington and then the Statue of Liberty, which he compared to the Colossus of Rhodes:

The Colossus of Rhodes – you know how they’re standing. And they have arrows – he had arrows, okay? The Statue of Liberty is holding the law and the torch. The Statue of Liberty, while the Colossus of Rhodes was perched back like this, the Statue of Liberty was moving forward – if you look at her feet, she’s moving forward, and she’s moving like this (posing), the light is penetrating and she’s moving, and shackles – chains – are around one of her legs – broken chains. The law will set you free. Now –

Historians simply do not agree on what the statue looked like and it was destroyed in 226 B.C. after having stood for fewer than 70 years. Yet, Beck not only knew what it looked like, he could pose just like the Greek God Helios depicted at Rhodes. But let’s get back to Lady Liberty.

Here’s what we always get wrong. And when we come to this understanding, when we truly change in our minds this one error in history, I think we will blaze to life again. The poem on the Statue of Liberty – it’s always read like this:

“Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free. The wretched refuse of your teeming shore, send these, the homeless, the tempest tossed, to me. And I lift my lamp beside the golden door.”

Well if you read it like that and you really think it through, what are we? A hospital?

More laughter.

What are we? Are we – is the Statue of Liberty saying to Europe, guys, Europe, you’re never going to make it with all that refuse. Send it over to me, we’ll take care of it over here. We’ll – we’ll just – we’re just trying to set you – guys you’re never going to succeed with all that riff-raff, come on, send it over here, you guys can get busy and do some work. That’s not what it means. It was never intended to read that way. Remember, the Statue of Liberty was mocking the old system. The Statue of Liberty was used to ignite inside the French, liberty. Look at America. Look what they’re doing. It was meant to be read like this:

“Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame, with conquering limbs astride from land to land – here, at our sea-washed sunset gates shall stand a mighty woman with a torch, whose flame is imprisoned lightning, and her name: Mother of Exiles. From her beacon hand glows worldwide welcome. Her mild eyes command the air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame. Keep your ancient lands, your storied pomp cries she, with silent lips. Give me, give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free. The wretched refuse from your teeming shore, send these, the homeless, the tempest tossed, to me. I hold – I hold my lamp beside the golden door.”

After the applause died down he added,

That – that is the message. Even the people that you reject can make it here. They will give it all to be successful – here. You can make it – here.

Or, to quote Sinatra, “if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere. It’s up to you New York, New York.”

I have been saying, the worst is coming. I have been saying it for awhile. But you will find the answers in history

Only if it’s Glenn Beck’s version of history, which is distorted, one-sided, and skewed. Since it’s been a while since we’ve heard about puke:

If we do honest soul searching, we are on the ground, and if this ain’t your bottom, America, I warn you – some people, you know, people always ask me when there’s some celebrity that’s, you know, I don’t know, vomiting on themselves in some, you know, rehab center – what could we have done to save them? The answer is nothing. Some people’s bottom is just a little higher than others. Some people are going to die before they hit bottom. You cannot save them.

This is simply The Beckerhead’s variation on Marie Antoinette: “Let them eat puke.” We are not our brother’s keeper.

This is a pretty good bottom. Yeah, I know this is as bad as I want it to get. But if we don’t stand up now and recognize it, it’s going to get much, much, much worse. All we have to do is recognize the problems that we have, admit to our mistakes, do the hard work. It may be a hard day – we have been all night, retching, holding on to that bowl – because we went out for a party.

Beck is always the most believable when he’s describing his youth.

And it may be a hard day and hard struggle, and we may work until late in the night, and our kids may be crying, and we may be losing our house – we are going to go through some tough times. And we are going to be tired as we set things straight. It is a hard road, I know, I have walked it myself. It is a hard road, but we will make it, and at night we will be beat tired – we will be so tired, but when we put our head down on our pillow to go to sleep again that night we can be happy because we know tomorrow it will again be morning in America.

Unless you wake up drunk again.

The problem with people like Beck, that is to say addicts, is they keep repeating the same patterns. While Beck (supposedly) kicked alcohol and cocaine, he merely replaced one addiction with another. The way he’s described his self-education, I would say he’s addicted and he can’t stop. However, all that booze and Bolivian powder either fried his brain, or else he’s the personification of the adage “A little education can be a dangerous thing,” because he misconstrues, misunderstands, and misinforms.

H. L. Mencken famously said, “Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American people” and Beck has proven that with his show’s ratings. However, when it comes to the crème de la crème of the Conservative movement, one would hope they would be smarter than Glenn Beck’s audience. It would seem not.

Despite that, surely it’s time to give Glenn Beck his due: He knows his puke. And, by now, so does America.

Thank you.

You’re welcome.

With all my love,

Aunty Em

[Full transcript can be found at: http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474978060978]