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Ann Coulter, Performance Liar

Reported by Ellen - May 5, 2005 -

Alan Colmes - who lately seems to be on a quest to interview every one of the world's most hateful conservatives - hit the jackpot last night when he hosted Ann Coulter on his FOX News radio show. It's bad enough to listen to Coulter joke about killing people, followed by her wolfish laugh, but whenever she's with Colmes, they get into a cutesy banter that I can barely stomach. Last night, there were lots of giggles on their part (followed by gags on my part) and a new protectiveness of her by Colmes (even more nauseating) who defended her by calling her a performance artist.

At the beginning of the interview, Colmes said, with genuine-sounding concern, "I don't like what's happening lately and I don't like what's happened to you at the hand of those of my political persuasion." He was referring to incidents where a pie was thrown at Coulter and, more recently, when she was asked an obscene question at University of Texas at Austin. (Comment: Regular readers know how much I dislike Texas but this might make me start to reconsider).

We were treated to all the boring details of those liberal attacks on poor, undeserving Coulter. Then we got to listen to Alan reassure her (interspersed with her frequent giggles) that her recent cover article in Time was flattering. She looked good, he said, and it was a puff piece. Thank God, I was soooo worried it might have been a liberal hatchet job.

Next, we got into her politics, a special treat for those of us listening to the show on XM Satellite's Air America channel. Colmes believes that Coulter doesn't really mean all the awful things she says. (For the record, I agree with him but I don't see why that makes it better). There was a lot of giggly "Yes, I do mean it," followed by "No, you don't." But wait, there's more.

Finally Coulter admitted, no, she sort of didn't mean it. She said, "I would determine which lines got (into her columns) not on the basis of its persuasiveness or its factual content but on whether or not it's funny." In other words, it's all about the show and substance takes a back seat. But who with half a brain didn't know that?

Next Colmes asked about an old statement of Coulter's where she said we ought to go "over there" (not sure where he/she meant) and bomb their countries and convert them to Christianity. "You didn't really mean that," Colmes said.

"Yes, I did," Coulter giggled.

"You didn't really mean that (Colmes giggled a little). You said that for the joke, right?" (Comment: Apparently that kind of joke is better than an obscene comment? For all we know the obscene comment could have been a joke, too. Personally, I find obscenity way more entertaining than bombs.)

Coulter, still laughing, "I do mean it... First, we bomb them, which we did, then we kill their leaders, which we did, and THEN we send in the missionaries."

Hilarious! I simply can't understand how I failed to get the humor all this time.

Later, during phone calls, Coulter giggled (but she sounded serious) that the "vast, vast majority of military veterans are Republican" and "that the vast majority of Vietnam Veterans are not Democrats."

"I'm not sure about that," Colmes said, referring to the Vietnam Vets.

"That is a fact. There have been surveys. That is a fact."

Colmes asked, "Do you know of any surveys?"

Coulter said, without sounding like she was joking, "They definitely do... I could look it up. It's been established over and over again. There's no question about that."

Comment: Sorry, Annie-pooh, but there is a question about that. A July, 2004 Pew Research survey called Bush Holds Modest Advantage Among Veterans says on page 1, "As was the case in 2000, there is only a small 'veteran gap' in the current campaign."

Some might say that's another example of Coulter's performance art humor. But I'd call it performance art fraud.