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Sorry, Ann Coulter, You're No Katherine Hepburn

Reported by Ellen - March 1, 2005

I think Ann Coulter has a thing for Alan Colmes. Not since her appearances last summer with "Democrat" Pat Caddell have I seen her fling her hair (newly highlighted, it seems), look so flirtatiously or smile so wolfishly quite the way she did last night with Colmes.

Ann Coulter, who must keep her blow-dryer charged and ready to go anytime FOX News invites her to appear on TV, was on last night's Hannity & Colmes to offer her "insights" into Chris Rock's performance on the Academy Awards and Howard Dean's remarks about Republicans.

After Sean Hannity finished his segment questioning Democrat Richard Aborn (see post above), Alan Colmes took his turn asking the questions. Referring to Republicans' complaints about Dean's remarks, Colmes tried to pin Coulter down about Republicans trashing Democrats. He asked her if it was OK to compare Dean to a terrorist.

Instead of answering the question, Coulter complained poutily that "I'm a little hurt that you (Colmes) didn't use any of my quotes." Then, in a classic case of the pot calling the kettle black, she added, "I noticed that Howard Dean doesn't give any examples. This is a party that supports killing, lying, adultery, thievery, envy..."

Colmes: That's ridiculous. That's ridiculous.

Coulter, batting her big eyes into the camera: ...and the platform is violating the 10 commandments one by one and they're talking about evil?

Colmes: You did this last time and you purposely avoid my question... Howard Dean was called 'a terrorist, the man who would protect child rapists'... Do you denounce that?

Coulter ran her hand through her hair. With phony-sounding exasperation, she asked "By whom?" (As if that mattered.) When Colmes told her it was the Kansas Attorney General who said that, she laughed a bit too heartily and a bit too condescendingly, coyly avoiding that stumper of a question Colmes "unfairly" threw at her. Then, instead of addressing it, she said (poutily again), "OK, the reason I don't like when you spring quotes on me that I've never heard of before because maybe I would denounce them but you've gotta tell me before I come on."

I wished Colmes had confronted her on that ridiculous assertion. Is she so slow that she needs extra time to think about how to react to that not-very-hard-to-get-in-toto comment?

Instead, Colmes, who I think knows she likes him and likes her, too - albeit in a different way - said with a smile, "I'm giving you the facts..."

Coulter, "No, I'm not going to accept your characterization of the facts. You lie... (laughs heartily)"

Colmes stopped smiling. "Are you calling me a liar? What have I lied about?"

Coulter, throwing up her hands dramatically: Don't get so (unintelligible). She laughed more.

Colmes: ...Once again, you're avoiding the subject and how dare you call me a liar?

Coulter (perhaps sensing Colmes was not charmed by her riposte): So to respond to the subject tonight this is a party that supports abortion, adultery and you can't contest that. This is a party that could change its name to the abortion party.

Colmes: Republicans do the same exact thing and... they only want to condemn it when Democrats do it.

Aborn (sitting silently during all this time): It's the height of hypocrisy and they're not going to benefit by it in the long term... we should not be sinking down in the mud...

Ann (smiling flirtatiously at Colmes) Jumps up and starts waving her arms. Mockingly, she says "Are you accusing me of sinking down in the mud? Uh, uh, are you accusing me of sinking down? Oh, I'm sorry, I'm just trying to be like Alan." Laughs

Aborn: Ann, you can avoid these things all you want...

Coulter(referring to Colmes): He can't? He can't avoid it? She laughed.

Does Ann Coulter think her banter is reminiscent of the repartee memorialized by Hepburn and Tracy in Desk Set and/or Woman of the Year (among others)? Somehow, I just can't see it that way.

Wishing Deb a speedy recovery...

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