Warp Resident commented on Fox Obsesses That Wealthy Donors Only Getting ‘Good,’ Not Great Seats For Pope’s St. Patrick’s Service
2015-09-24 15:45:30 -0400
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If there were an afterlife, I’m pretty sure these would be the people that get all the VIP accommodations in hell…
Warp Resident commented on Bill O'Reilly Tries To Ambush Bernie Sanders And Fails
2015-09-15 09:43:18 -0400
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Aren’t there some scantily clad teenagers on a beach somewhere that Waterboy could be harassing instead?
Warp Resident commented on Dick Cheney: Obama’s ‘World View Just Doesn’t Reflect Reality’
2015-09-01 16:49:11 -0400
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Sorry Scooter, Dick Cheney is more machine than man now. So long as his battery can be recharged and the blood of innocent children can be pumped into his veins, He shall continue to curse this world.
Warp Resident commented on Jesse Watters Attacks Left Over Idaho Hunter Sabrina Corgatelli Controversy - Because Sandra Fluke!
2015-08-03 22:01:06 -0400
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If only Jesse’s mom had access to birth control, this never would have happened…
Warp Resident commented on Rupert Murdoch Wants Donald Trump To Stop Embarrassing The Country
2015-07-21 15:23:05 -0400
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When the malignant magnate of Melbourne calls you an embarrassment, that’s got to hurt!
Warp Resident commented on Fox Tries To Blame Chris Rock For Donald Trump’s Outrageous Remarks About McCain
2015-07-21 15:13:53 -0400
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Elvin: Surely you’ve heard of the “6 degrees of Kevin Bacon” meme? FoxNews does something similar, except it’s “6 degrees of blaming black people.”
Warp Resident commented on Fox & Friends Trots Out Ann Coulter To Validate Trump On Immigration
2015-07-07 13:09:38 -0400
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It’s like she’s playing the part of a ghoulish villain from some B movie. I can’t take Ann Coulter seriously anymore (though the harm she is causing is serious), this is all I can think of when I see her now: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hxAmODS8r3g
Warp Resident commented on Kelly File Guest: Dukes Of Hazzard Canceled Because ‘White Liberals’ Hate The South
2015-07-03 23:06:21 -0400
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Ahh, so nice of FoxNews to remind us that we’re a post-racial society now. I do wonder what is causing those predominantly black churches to spontaneously combust. Maybe someone at FoxNews has a theory? Oh, right… http://www.salon.com/2015/07/02/black_churches_are_burning_fox_news_doesnt_care/
Warp Resident commented on Franklin Graham Warns Christians About Gay Marriage Ruling: Prepare For Persecution
2015-07-02 19:40:12 -0400
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When did it all begin to go wrong for religious conservatives? When the slaves were freed? When “the blacks” were allowed to have mixed marriages? Yes, there will be “persecution” of racists and bigots like Graham and other FoxNewsies, as, perhaps, it should be.
Warp Resident commented on Megyn Kelly Hosts Ann Coulter To Validate Donald Trump’s ‘Bad Mexicans’ Comments
2015-07-02 13:38:27 -0400
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I came upon the building in the dead of the night. A small bronze sign lit by a single bare bulb flickering against the gloomy darnkess read: Miskatonic Home for the Aged and Infirm. How long had I been walking since the accident? I had been driving along the old country road on the way toward an assignment when suddenly a figure darted in front of my car. I swerved and struck a tree. When I came to, I smelled gas leaking from the tank and there was no sign of the figure in the road. Luckily, there was a private drive leading up the hill on the other side of the road. It was near pitch black so I could not read the sign on the gate, I just hoped someone would be home.
Banging on the front door, I could hear voices, angry voices. I wasn’t sure I wanted to be there anymore, but, just as I was about to turn away, I heard a scraping at the door, as if a long draw-bar was being removed. The door creaked open slowly, but there was only darkness inside — and silence.
Nobody greeted me, so I gingerly made my way inside. It was dark, but my eyes were adapting. I could see that I was in a reception room with old over-stuffed chairs and it smelled of death. I could see light flickering from underneath a door at the end of the long room, as if a television was on. Slowly, I walked toward the door, listening for any sound, yet hearing nothing.
I paused at the door, hand upon the knob, debating whether I should turn back. Slowly, I turned the knob, terror rising like a scream in my throat. Suddenly, a gust of wind blew the door wide open, dragging me into the room. Light and sound assaulted me from every direction. The room was abnormal, misshapen and redolent of non-Euclidean horrors as perspective shifted in every direction, objects seemed to overlap and extend for infinity, except for one object in the room: a televion at its center. Too late, I saw the FoxNews chyron in the corner. Too late, I saw the creature upon the television screen: Ann Coulter, her carapace slick with the blood of (metaphorical) innocents, chattering madly about some hateful topic. Too late, I saw the gleaming strands emanating from the television, terminating in the eyes and ears of the old and infirm that gathered around it in this evil place of lies and darkness. Too late, I saw the gleaming strands as they reached out to me. I felt her smile her toothy grin as she began to feed upon my fears and anxieties. Too late… too late…
end
Banging on the front door, I could hear voices, angry voices. I wasn’t sure I wanted to be there anymore, but, just as I was about to turn away, I heard a scraping at the door, as if a long draw-bar was being removed. The door creaked open slowly, but there was only darkness inside — and silence.
Nobody greeted me, so I gingerly made my way inside. It was dark, but my eyes were adapting. I could see that I was in a reception room with old over-stuffed chairs and it smelled of death. I could see light flickering from underneath a door at the end of the long room, as if a television was on. Slowly, I walked toward the door, listening for any sound, yet hearing nothing.
I paused at the door, hand upon the knob, debating whether I should turn back. Slowly, I turned the knob, terror rising like a scream in my throat. Suddenly, a gust of wind blew the door wide open, dragging me into the room. Light and sound assaulted me from every direction. The room was abnormal, misshapen and redolent of non-Euclidean horrors as perspective shifted in every direction, objects seemed to overlap and extend for infinity, except for one object in the room: a televion at its center. Too late, I saw the FoxNews chyron in the corner. Too late, I saw the creature upon the television screen: Ann Coulter, her carapace slick with the blood of (metaphorical) innocents, chattering madly about some hateful topic. Too late, I saw the gleaming strands emanating from the television, terminating in the eyes and ears of the old and infirm that gathered around it in this evil place of lies and darkness. Too late, I saw the gleaming strands as they reached out to me. I felt her smile her toothy grin as she began to feed upon my fears and anxieties. Too late… too late…
Warp Resident commented on Fox’s Jarrett Blames Obama For Donald Trump’s Presidential Appeal
2015-06-16 14:52:13 -0400
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Every circus parade has to have at least one clown…
Warp Resident commented on Bill O'Reilly Attacks Non-Existent Blog For Making Stuff Up!!!!!!
2015-06-12 15:34:15 -0400
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Thorazine: for prompt control of senile agitation. Tell your doctor you watch (or host a show on) FoxNews, and ask if Thorazine is right for you.
Warp Resident commented on Fr. Jonathan Morris Whitewashes Duggar Pedophilia?!
2015-06-08 14:15:47 -0400
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Did Morris bring the usual $20,000 reward from Cardinal Dolan to give to Jim Bob? Oh, wait, I guess that’s supposed to go to Josh.
Warp Resident commented on Fox News Pundit: Our Culture Is Collapsing Because Of Russell Brand!
2015-06-08 14:07:21 -0400
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Warp Resident commented on Fox’s Ablow Goes Off Script And Blasts The Duggars
2015-06-04 17:06:14 -0400
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Did A Blow find out his contract is not going to be renewed or something? He’s been sounding far too reasonable of late.
Warp Resident commented on Megyn Kelly Presents The Duggars As Liberal Media Victims – And Makes Their Scandal About Bill Clinton!
2015-06-02 09:53:55 -0400
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Josh Duggar molested at least 5 children and his parents covered it up. Has Josh molested or raped any other children?
Warp Resident commented on Greg Gutfeld’s New Show Jokes About Hillary Clinton As Satan
2015-06-01 10:27:04 -0400
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When talking about KISS (keep it simple, stupid), it doesn’t come much simpler (or more stupid) than Greg…
Warp Resident commented on Fox Psychiatrist Who Previously Thought Biden Was A Demented Lush, Now Calls Him ‘Resilient’ In Wake Of Son’s Death
2015-06-01 10:19:19 -0400
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Well, I wouldn’t have expected it, but A Blow has a shred of humanity left! Or perhaps the lord Ailes hasn’t yet made a formal decree on how to spin this tragedy.
Warp Resident commented on Donald Trump Has A ‘Foolproof’ Plan To Defeat ISIS But He Won’t Tell Us What It Is
2015-05-28 09:14:57 -0400
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You forgot: 3. Profit
Warp Resident commented on Mike Huckabee Stands By The Duggars – And Attacks Others For Not Doing The Same
2015-05-23 11:08:52 -0400
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Ahd just what was Jim Bob’s role in this? Witness? Participant? Role model? I’m not saying he was involved, I’m just asking questions… These things don’t just happen in a vacuum. Where was daddy Duggar?