It's time for our weekly look at the email we've received from people who think we're Fox News. For us, it's a glimpse into the minds of Fox News fans. For Fox News snoops, it's a chance for you to get your mail. This week's subjects include the Million Muslim March, Syria and something about an impotent man and child abuse.
As always, names and other identifying information have been redacted to protect the ignorant. Spelling, grammar and punctuation have been left intact.
Received 9/9/13
Subject: Citizens Vote
I wish that y'all would set up an online vote AGAINST or dummies for war in Syria . Thank you for telling the truth to we Americans
Received 9/9/13
Subject: How can a 78 yr old man be sent to prison for child abuse when he has been impotent for over 20 years?
$500,000.00 gained by step-daughter from lawnmower accident. Daughter has had one child removed, abandoned 2 children, has one son in and out of prison, mutilple marriages, multiple relationships, spent time in jail for fraud, and many children.
The 78 year old man is victim, not the perpetrator.
Please investigate and get this man free.
I have all documentation with dates to prove this.
Received 9/10/13
Subject: Million Muslim march
Why aren't you covering more of this and the rejection for permits to the bikers. Talk about putting your fist through a wall. Why aren't you letting the Americans know about this codswallop that's being planned on a day when Americans were massacred. What a travesty
I'm not completely sure this next one was meant for Fox and not meant to yank our chains but here it is and you can judge for yourselves.
Received 9/11/13
Subject: Fox News
Please contact the Fox News Producer/Director and offer my congratulations on delivering excellent programming. Compared to NBC. CBS. ABC and the ever unpopular MSNBC, Fox news is top of the line.
Received 9/11/13
Subject: Syria beheadings for religion
I am just wondering why America has not addressed the issue in Syria that took place last weekend. The president of Syria is beheading people who don't convert to Islam, and not just anybody only CHRISTIANS and burning down all their churches. To me this is a very big issue and almost nobody knows about it.I find it hard to believe our government or so-called president of the United states doesn't know about this. Its outrageous that we are letting them get away with this or at least not bringing it to the peoples attention!Sincerely,
Subject: Million Muslim march
Q. Why aren’t you covering more of this and the rejection for permits to the bikers. Talk about putting your fist through a wall. Why aren’t you letting the Americans know about this codswallop that’s being planned on a day when Americans were massacred. What a travesty
A. Let us introduce you to Saudi Prince Alwaleed bin Talal. The little prince owns a large chunk-7%-of News Corporation, parent company of Fox “News” Channel. A math professor can figure the rest.
Subject: Fox News Please contact the Fox News Producer/Director and offer my congratulations on delivering excellent programming.
A. You mean The VP Shineman and Hannocchio’s lapdog producer The Finman? Those two clowns? They couldn’t operate a merry-go-round blindfolded.