It could have been a Saturday Night Live skit but it wasn’t. Bill O’Reilly declared victory in the War On Christmas tonight and moved on to fight the War on Easter. Yes, Virginia, there are evil secular-progressive Obama supporters out there who “refuse to call it an Easter Egg!” It’s all part of their effort to loosen restrictions on abortion and drugs and tighten restrictions for insulting minorities. I guess you could call it the Obama re-election domino effect!
With a straight face, O’Reilly gravely relayed the backstory:
A few years ago, some American companies ordered their employees not to say, ‘Merry Christmas.’ Remember that? We presented the facts to you, you told the stores you wouldn’t buy there, the crazy edict was quickly rescinded. Power to the people.
Sadly, the war “continues on in some school districts” where “you are not allowed to say the word, ‘Easter.’” In a display of true Christian spirit, O’Reilly revealed the names – both orally and via a large graphic that filled the screen - of “Anti-Easter Municipalities” that are hosting “spring egg” hunts.
Then he “explained” how all this would lead to abortions and drugs on demand and never being able to criticize a minority:
Secular progresives are running wild with President Obama in the White House. They feel unchained, liberated and they are trying to diminish any form of religion. The goal is to marginalize religious opposition to secular programs.
For example, in Canada and China, a woman can have an abortion for any reason, at any time. Secular progressives want that here. But traditional forces in America are in opposition. Therefore, in this country, you can’t terminate a baby about to be born without a damn good reason. And if you do abort a late-term baby, you could be charged with murder. SPs hate that.
In Scandinavia, there are laws that say you cannot criticize minorities, and if you do, you could be arrested. Secular progressives want laws like that here. Also, the legalization of drugs well under way in many places and that is a secular cause as well. So, if the far left can marginalize Santa and the Easter Bunny, if they can tell the children those symbols are obsolete and unnecessary, they then set the stage for a totally secular society in the future. That’s what you have in Scandinavia and that’s why the Easter Bunny is on the run here in America.
Enter Laura Ingraham. “I think you’re on to something,” she told O'Reilly. She wondered if Christians feel there is “a new era of persecution that we have never seen in this country before toward traditional faiths… that we’re beginning to see now.” She went on to predict that traditional, religious people would recede from society and not join the military as much. “America as a result will become poorer and weaker and less influential in the world,” she predicted.
Apparently, O'Reilly's courageous victory in the War on Christmas has not inspired the folks as you might think. He said, "Traditional people are afraid because they see people like me, like you, alright? Other traditional commentators get attacked viciously, vilely in the worst personal ways." Apparently, it takes a special kind of bravery to demand that people say, "Merry Christmas" and "Happy Easter!"
“If I were president, …I’d name the districts that we just named here and I’d say, ‘Knock it off’” O’Reilly vowed.
That’s just what Jesus would do, I’m certain.
Video below via Mediaite.
Proof that rightwingnuts will fight any war they can think of, so long as they don’t have to participate in of the actual ones they cheerlead for . . .
he is really standing on the treshold of insanity.
Now he is bellyaching about eggs! Spare me.
You took our tree, Santa, our bunny, and now our decorative eggs.
We’re taking them back.
If we didn’t have Bildo looking out for us, we would all be smoking weed, having gay sex and reading the Koran.
Does Screeching Laura ever tire of kissing Bildo’s splotchy ass?
You guys can’t see where Billdo is going?
Billdo is plugging his next POS book.
Since Jesus didn’t suffer enough the first time, Billdo is going to crucify him again.
Of course, not because Billdo wants to make money or take credit or any of all of that.
Billdo didn’t try to take credit for the Paris Business Review. Did he?
That means we can do whatever we want about them, right? Why can’t they be secular eggs? Did Jay-sus arise on the 3rd day, put on a bunny suit and deliver eggs to the kiddies? Riding on a dinosaur? With a rolled-up constitution grasped in his paw? And PEEPS in his pocket? (Say, Mr. Bunny, are those PEEPS in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?)
I’m really starting to miss the lions.
Poor POS borally. I wish he’d hit bottom so he can finally get the help he desperately needs.
I thought the goal of the far left was to make us all into gay Muslims, Bill. So… which is it?
Oh, and I can I be told specifically what these laws in Scandinavia are? Because I’m typing in Google searches and turning up a lot of internet watchdogs asking what the hell you’re talking about, O’Reilly.
If I’d known that O’Reilly was going to commence his defense in the War on Easter, I would’ve sent him an e-mail asking him to investigate why there are pink and purple and even blue Peeps and yellow Peeps dipped in chocolate and (shudder) Bunny Peeps. I can’t imagine how O’Reilly hasn’t already investigated this obvious attack on a lovely Easter tradition. (After all, seeing the Peeps in stores is the surest sign of Easter’s onset—much like the return of the swallows to Capistrano heralds the arrival of spring.)
And Joseph West wonders if Laura Ingraham is aware there are many “traditional faiths” that don’t acknowledge Easter while the FoxNoise kkkrew chooses to ignore, all in the name of "saving Christianity from the evil forces of Secular Progressivism? Well, I’m sure she’s aware of it; she just doesn’t give a f#ck about other “traditional” faiths that don’t slavishly adhere to extreme right-wing views of Christianity.
WHO GIVES A FUGGING SHT ABOUT THE EASTER BUNNY!
Easter is NOT ABOUT SOME RODENT POOPING WITH A BAD LSD TRIP!
Rabbits laying eggs.
How do explain that?