Now that Pope Benedict is "pulling a Palin," there is a lot of speculation as to who will be sporting the next pair of papal Prada pumps. The papal throne is still warm and Fox News has already thrown its support to their very special pal, Cardinal Timothy Dolan who, given the validation that Fox News provided for the bishop's opposition to the HHS birth control mandate, should have Roger Ailes' statue on the altar of St. Patrick's Cathedral! Brian Kilmeade said that when it comes to charisma and charm, nobody does it better than Dolan. Fox priest Fr. Jonathan Morris praised Dolan as "a very holy man." Fox veep John Moody effused that Dolan is "a wonderful man" whose elevation to the papacy would be a cause for celebration. Not to be outdone in the Dolan for Pope department, is Dolan's close pal, Peter Johnson Jr. who, in speaking with the equally enthused Steve Doocy, was positively bursting with praise for the awesome Dolan.
This morning, Steve Doocy was all excited as he reported the back story of the Pope's resignation. He asked if the next pope will be American. He tossed to Peter Johnson Jr. who could hardly contain his glee when he said that his "dear friend," Cardinal Dolan, is being considered as "a potential successor" to the current pope. Johnson, a Knight of Malta, didn't mention that along with being a "dear friend," Dolan has also employed him to do legal work of the Catholic Archdiocese of NY.
Johnson continued the homage. He described Dolan as a "superstar" of American Catholicism" who has "rocked the world." The sycophantic Doocy said "right." Johnson praised the "humble" Dolan as "a man of the people" who will be looked at closely during the Pope selection. After Doocy noted that the papal odds makers are saying that the choice of an American is a long shot, Johnson said that the Church is looking for somebody who "understands a multi-cultural society, digital technology, who is a people's pope." Doocy screamed "that's Dolan!" Johnson continued to gush over Dolan who has the same kind of "incisive mind and tender heart" of the current pope.
The Dolan campaign rally and lovefest continued with Doocy's comment that the church, which has some "public relations problems" (Ya Think!) "needs a guy" (cuz it's sure not a "gal") "if not Dolan, a charismatic guy like him." Johnson agreed that "the Church has public relations problems and that a lot of people in the kind of left wing and even mainstream media have piled on at this juncture of the Catholic Church." He said that these unnamed "problems" (Memo from Moody: Don't say pedophilia?) are an opportunity for "renewal, for excitement not death clouding a new pope, a new pope being chosen out of many wonderful choices including" (he smiled angelically)"my dear friend Cardinal Dolan." He added that "a lot of people are saying, wow, wouldn't that be a wonderful, wonderful thing." After Doocy agreed, Johnson lauded Dolan as a man who "embraces the world." Doocy added, "he's a great guy." Johnson got the last word, "quite a guy."
Wow, guess we know who the "fair & balanced" network is supporting in the pope election. But seriously, did you catch how Johnson, who provided most of the Fox News validation for the bishop's opposition to the HHS mandate, dismissed the global and systemic problem of Catholic clergy sexual abuse as a "public relations problem." Really? And according to Johnson, the perpetrators and enablers were "piled on" by the media. Really? But in the relentless cheerleading for Cardinal Dolan, none of the Fox suck-ups have mentioned Dolan's "public relations problems" which will be exposed if he is in contention for the papacy - such as his authorization of payments to sexually abusive priests to encourage them to leave the priesthood and his lobbying against statutes of limitations on child sexual abuse cases. And then there's the matter of Fr. Franklyn Becker who, while working in Dolan's former diocese, was diagnosed as a pedophile, yet continued to serve and molest.
If Cardinal Dolan does harbor papal ambitions, he couldn't have any better cheerleading squad than Fox News!
Some of the more superstitious among on-lookers are already wondering after a string of mishaps, the latest one being that lightening bolt that hit the cross on top of St. Peter’s Cathedral a couple of days. Prior to that, we’d had:
1) the release of a dove during an audience: the bird rose inspiringly into the air, was challenged by an Imperial sea gull and immediately shot back inside the window …. dead silence in the square ….
2)during a public mass, the Papal ring, which only the Pope is allowed to wear, slipped off his finger…. nobody noticed but the word got out because some of the factions within the Curia have never accepted losing the last Conclave. But, but, but, there are no factions in the Holy Roman Church!
Wasn’t it Dolan who’d said that New Orleans deserved or got Katrina because of some sort of mis-behaving? If it was him, he and his backers are probably seeing all the above as a holy endorsement.
Don’t tell anyone this secret.
catholics keep reciting prayers for our misguided brothers.
You know, jewish, mormons, bathtists, evangelistos, testicles of He-man, and those perverts saying they also have a right to worship.
C’mon Priscilla… that’s a little too much. I’m not a Catholic, but I don’t think it’s written anywhere that a Pope has to serve until he’s dead; that he has to have his skinny broken-down body wheeled into St. Peter’s every time.
I would think if more Popes had resigned when they got so feeble, the church might have been better off.
As for Chuckles the Cardinal (aka Dolan) winding up as Pope, I’d that’s a wild longshot. Although behind all that jolly, jiggling (he must be on the Christie diet) mirth, with that keen sense of where to find a camera, is a very slick mind. One that knows how to cover up any pedo scandals that might bring him down.
We Love Dolan ‘cause he knows how to keep a secret or two. AND he knows what’s good fer the wimmin!
I think the primary reason the Fiends & and PJ are endorsing Dolan is because he’s white — and two of the top three Cardinals considered to be in contention for the Papacy are Black Africans:
You know those Foxies: they’re already having enough trouble dealing with a black man as US President — if a black Pope were to come along, they might think the apocalypse has arrived . . .