If the early Christians were as humorless as those members of the Fox News church of perpetual outrage, it's no wonder that they had some hard times. Today's martyrs are constantly whining about how they get no respect from the forces of satanic secularism. But if they want some insight into why they are lampooned, they need only to click their remotes to Fox News to see their fellow Jesus BFF, Brian Kilmeade, a high priest in the Fox Tim Tebow cult, make idiotic comments revealing his devotion to God and Tim Tebow (who, on Fox, is God). Kilmeade's latest pearl of wisdom involves statements from a football player who is obviously heading for a quick dunk in the Lake of Fire after blasphemous comments directed towards God and Tim Tebow who, on Fox, is a deity. And Brian is pissed - the same Brian Kilmeade who had to apologize for an anti-Islamic comment (only one of many). But he has God's and Tebow's back so it's all good.
Last Wednesday, in keeping with the Fox meme of Tebow martyrdom, Kilmeade claimed that not only did a Baltimore Ravens football player, Terrell Suggs, mock Tim Tebow; but he also mocked God. Obviously, Suggs comments are part of routine football trash talking; but Brian Kilmeade, and his guest, former football star and fellow Jesus BFF, Terry Bradshaw were having none of it. After making small talk about Tebow's athletic prowess, Kilmeade cut to the chase with the requiste Fox gospel of how good Christian Tebow is being persecuted by the evil forces of darkness, in this case coming from a member of the Baltimore Ravens.
After noting that Bradshaw "loves" Tebow for what he stands for and the courage he's shown, Kilmeade quoted Suggs: "With all due respect, we don't need God on our sidelines. Once again, God had to save Tim Tebow and the Denver Broncos. He couldn't even give them two drives? 7 to 3." Brian Kilmeade proceeded to demonstrate why he's the Thomas Aquinas of Fox & Friends: "So he's mocking him [Tebow] and mocking God." Bradshaw continued with the metaphysics: "Better be careful. You can take shots at Tim; but when you go messing with God, that's a different story." Good Christian Bradshaw then appeared to violate that commandment about not bearing false witness; but given that Fox, America's Christian network, does it all the time, I guess Jesus is down with it: "Suggs is obviously an idiot. He has no clue what he's talking about and I would be very careful. If I were him, I'd be on my hands and feet tonight asking for forgiveness because that's totally unacceptable."
What wasn't mentioned by Jesus' BFF's, in their attack on Suggs, was that Suggs also said “With all due respect, we don’t pray on sidelines. I mean we do — we give it up to God just to be safe…we gonna go out there and win that game." So Suggs wasn't entirely "mocking God." But seriously, the simplistic commentary about being punished for mocking God was what passed for theological discourse in my grammar school and that was a long time ago. (I was a "mocker" even then and for that I was denounced, by a truly psycho nun, as "personified brass.") But good Tim Tebow, this is the 21st century and while this kind of thing is still popular in certain arcane religious circles, how appropriate is it for national TV. One hopes these guys don't watch The Daily Show and Colbert where faith, of all sorts, is lampooned. And didn't Jesus say that when faith is tested, you say "whatever" and walk away. But flash forward a couple millennia and two Christian sports guys are suggesting that a football player, who "mocks" God (and Tim Tebow who has godlike status on Fox) is stupid and going to hell for expressing his sardonic opinion. Really?
I guess on Fox "News," it's"Yahweh or no way." (Oh, nooooo, Steven Colbert is going to hell......)
“C Crush’s” Facebook ID is “not available.” Gotta love the drive-by trolls, though.
Care to provide some examples and/or rebuttals?
Tebow came down to Denver, he was lookin’ for games to steal,
He had a prayer, and he had a kneel, but he needed to earn a meal,
He came upon the Broncos, who were havin’ a real hard time,
Then he whipped out a pigskin, said, “Look here, men, God’s a real good friend of mine.”
Tebow’s in Denver, run fans, run,
Tebow’s gonna have some fumble fun,
Passes gettin picked off one two three,
God’s in Heaven yelling, “Don’t blame me!”
Tebow got off to a real hot start, won a bunch and just lost one,
Bishop Elway said, “He’s here to stay” and Denver had some fun,
But then a guy from Pittsburgh came along, and he had an accurate gun,
His name is Ben they play today, Ben will show him who’s number one.