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The Beck Week That Was - The Chicken Little Edition

Reported by Aunty Em - February 8, 2011 -

Last week will forever be known as the week the wheels fell off Glenn Beck’s little red wagon. As Beck scrambles to find a “Unified Conspiracy Theory”—linking Progressives to everything evil, up to and including the fall of President Mubarak—the Fox “News” talker has talked himself into derisions of laughter, and not only from those on the left. Conservatives are also taking pot shots, of the rhetorical kind, at America’s Historian-in-chief. And, true to form, Beck is taking the evidence that everyone’s against him as further proof that he is right about everything he ever said. If you had to sum up the entire week, it would be, the sky is falling, as Beck himself noted:

Maybe I'm wrong. And I know they're going to call me "chicken little" and everything else, but this is the coming insurrection. This is what I have been warning about.*

And with that Glenn Beck managed to tie together every conspiracy theory he’s ever uttered. Before the week would end, he would tie the Egyptian uprising and the Muslim Brotherhood to Progressives, Code Pink, Frances Fox Piven, Van Jones, George Soros, Al Jazeera, Sam Donaldson, Hamas, Saul Alinski, U.N. Secretary Ban Ki-moon, Saddam Hussein, Usama bin Laden, Social Justice, Socialist Communists, Marxist Communists, the “uber-left,” Anarchists, radicals, Rosie O’Donnell, Weather Underground, Bill Ayers, Bernadette Dohrn, Turkey, Hezbollah, Marxists, Communists, Muslim Student Association, North American Islamic Trust, Islamic Society of North America, the American Muslim Council, Muslim American Society, Wade Rathke, Drummond
Pike, ACORN, Tides Foundation, Holy Land Foundation, Common Cause, and many more.

However, he really seemed to lose it when Michelle Goldberg, of The Daily Beast, said on Fox & Friends,

“Your own network has been running absolutely, you know, lunatic theories about this being some kind of conspiracy between Van Jones, Code Pink, Hamas and the Muslim Brotherhood.”

Glenn wants everyone to know that it’s not a Fox “News” theory at all. To quote Monty Python: Well Chris, what is it that it is - this theory of mine. Well, this is what it is - my theory that I have, that is to say, which is mine, is mine. Or, to quote Glenn Beck directly:

First of all, that's not the network's theory. That's not Fox's theory. That's my theory. My theory. And it's not Van Jones or anything else.

Let me ask you this, let's start here. Since when is having a theory when you're trying to figure out what's going on a bad thing in America?

[A good question. Let’s ask the Birthers and Truthers.]

And it's really less theory than it is facts in their own words. But, just in case, let me show you what my "theory" is. And I stand by it. Everybody on the left, this is my theory and I stand by every word of it.

Groups from the hardcore socialists and communist left and extreme Islam will work together because of the common enemy of Israel and the Jews.

Do I have to remind you what happens to Jews under communism, or how friendly they've been to Israel?

Do I? How about the -- how about extreme Islam? Oh, no, it's going to be good.

Groups from the hardcore socialist left and extreme Islam and communism will work together because of the common enemy of capitalism and the Western way of life.

It's not just capitalism, it's not the United States, it's your way of life in the West. And I stand by that.

Groups from the hardcore socialist left and communism and extreme Islam will work together to overturn relatively -- relative stability because in the status quo, they are both ostracized from power and the mainstream in most parts of the world.

That's -- here, I'll even put it up for you -- Glenn's theory. Here it is. Got it?

That's it and I stand by it. Is it so farfetched, really? *

Well, since you asked: It sounds like bat shit crazy to me, Glenn. S’funny how you happened to drag the Jews into it, though. If I didn’t know better, I would think you want people to indirectly blame the Jews because “everyone hates the Jews,” as Tom Lerhrer famously sang in his parody song “National Brotherhood Week.”

But mostly Beck was on a concerted attack on Muslims in general, with the Muslim Brotherhood and its tenuous (some would say non-existent) connections to Progressivism in particular. As ever, Beck was able to run verbal circles until it came back to our president:

It's kind of like America when we didn't ask, what do you mean by change? I mean, you were asking, you were asking, but the press never asked -- what -- can you define change for us? We never found out.

By the way, ElBaradei, yes, the guy who loves the Muslim Brotherhood, he also formed a little group. It's called the National Association for Change. This weekend, I've heard him talking about social justice, but we'll get into that one maybe on tomorrow or the next day.

It doesn't interest the media. But once you have the whole ground up and look at the big picture, and you get to that one -- boy, oh, boy, oh, boy. It sure would be nice to know that, wouldn't it?

The truth has no agenda, but the media does.

The truth has no agenda, but I think ElBaradei does.

The truth has no agenda, but I think the Obama administration does.

The truth has no agenda but you don't know the truth.

The truth is this pro-democracy talk is the result of a progressive movement. *

Got it? It’s all the Progressives’ fault. And, while almost quoting Monty Python, he also paraphrased Reverend Jeremiah Wright:

They [Muslims] hate us because of this phrase -- "The enemy of my enemy is my friend." They hate us because we're hypocrites. They hate us because we told the world -- and you and I, we believed it. We believed it.

We didn't realize what the progressives were doing to us. We told the world that we stand up for freedom, truth, justice and the American way. That we stand up for the little guy. We stand up for the oppressed. You and I actually believe[d] that. *

Think about it. How different is that from Reverend Wright’s “chickens come home to roost” line?

However, what was most notable about Beck’s week is how many people came out to call Beck delusional, and it wasn’t just the usual suspects on the left:

Beck's "Apocalyptic" Egypt "Hysteria" Triggers New Round Of Conservative Condemnation

Glenn Beck’s Sanity Questioned By (Almost) Everyone

Even Neocon Robert Kagan Has Had Enough of Beck -- Calls Him a Panic-Monger

Bill Kristol smacks Glenn Beck with John Bircher label over his insane 'Egypt-Muslim Caliphate' Theory

Chris Matthews: Glenn Beck’s Theories Are “Looney Tunes” Trying To Distract Us From Thought

Rachel Maddow Tears Apart Glenn Beck’s Egypt Fear Mongering

In Support Of Egyptian Revolts, Bill Kristol Targets Glenn Beck, Conservative ‘Hysteria’

Glenn Beck Explains The Middle East As Only His Crazy Mind Can

Glenn Beck Hits Back At Claims He’s A “Lunatic,” But Does He Have Any Solutions?

And that’s the end of this exciting episode of our daily soap opera, “As the Beck Turns.” Speaking of Beck turning, the big galoot will turn 47 years old this week. In honor of his birthday Thursday there is a facebook celebration called “Glenn Beck is a Moron Day” to be celebrated by people all around the world who believe in Social Justice and sanity.

* Transcripts by Fox "News"

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