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Greg Gutfeld & Steven Crowder Praise Abstinence & Do Some Slut Shaming

Reported by Priscilla - September 23, 2010 -

Ya gotta love it. Right wing “comedians” (I guess?!) Greg Gutfeld and Steven Crowder sing the praises of abstinence. Honest, I’m not kidding. Rather than spoofing a topic that is so spoofworthy, former altar boy Gutfeld actually agreed with Steven Crowder’s assessment that abstinence is “awesome.” Guess the boys haven’t been getting any action lately although Crowder claims he’s in a celibate relationship – yeah, right!

Gutfeld, who wants to set up another gay bar in the area of Park 51 to prove how homophobic Islam is (while conveniently forgetting the homophobia of his “holy mother church”) and who thinks pro-choice women are baby killing sluts, began by describing the “bond that holds something strong, I speak not of Polident, but of abstinence, at least according to a young man who argues in his latest column” (What, Crowder is a writer – oh, wait, it’s only a column on the Fox “News” website. Whew!) “that abstinence might be awesome.” At this point, I was thinking that this might develop into something funny but I should have realized that, as Gutfeld is a right wing shill, it was just the preamble to a classic Gutfeld right wing morality message – disguised as “comedy.” Gutfeld continued that Crowder “muses” on abstinence being a “punch line despite offering plenty of benefits of being friends without benefits.” The chyron provided the “Cavuto marked” message: “Could not having sex be actually good for you?" The accompanying photo shown was that of clasped human hands which is, I guess, is how Gutfeld gets his jollies? Borrowing from the Christian right and Vatican playbook, Gutfeld said “forget that abstinence leads to approximately zero STD’s and studies that show it leads to successful marriages” (Guess Newt Ginrich wasn’t practicing abstinence – oh wait, he wasn’t!) I felt a gag reflex coming on when Gutfeld continued that “it’s the unbeatable bond of trust that’s the real prize” (The accompanying photo was of two fat people holding hands. Hopefully that’s where the action stops because, well, ewww….) Gutfeld opined “that there’s no more worry about your significant other cheating on you because partners can be supremely confident in their respect and self control, unlike the South American buttdance.” He then showed some footage said “buttdance” which, he joked, would put him off sex forever.

He asked Crowder when abstinence stopped. Borrowing from the religious right playbook, Crowder responded “when you have a ring on your finger.” (Tell that to Newt!) Crowder then said “people know I’m a Christian.” (No, Steve, but thanks for sharing). Despite his contention that his “column” is not pushing faith, he said that the argument for abstinence is “be abstinent and don’t get sick and die.” (Actually Steve, practice safe sex and you should be fine.) He claimed that from personal experience, “it does form a bond of trust.” (So Steve are you a real or born again virgin?) Throwing in a little Christian misogyny and slut shaming, Crowder said, from “personal experience,” “Constantly, you hear women say ‘you don’t trust me’ and no, I slept with you on the first date, so of course I don’t trust you.” (So why did you allow them to have sex with you, Steve?) Gutfeld responded that it was like the old joke about joining a club that would let you join, adding, “if she sleeps with me, she’ll sleep with anybody.” (No, Greg, if she sleeps with you she’s either psychotic, comatose, or tightly bound!) Amy (one of Greg’s panel members) said that women shouldn’t use sex as a bargaining tool and if she wants to sleep with someone, she does it! (Thank you, Amy, for being a voice of reason.) She added that she has a higher risk of disease and a higher risk of fun. (You go, girl!) Crowder whined that people are uncomfortable with his abstinence promotion because he’s a “kid” and a “comic.” He continued to whine that he’s considered judgmental. (D’uuhh!!!) He repeated Gutfeld’s claim that it leads to a better marriage. The other male panel member said that the column was good as it pointed out how abstinence is the only “taboo.” Greg referenced his mother’s saying that “if you want respect, don’t put out.” When Amy said that her first date sex led to three year relationships, Crowder said that was “physically wrong” and cited statistics from the “Social Organization of Sexuality,” which indicate that 87% of people who wait until they’re married to have sex are happier. Amy pointed out that people, when confronted with questions about their personal life, could be lying. More kudos to Amy for saying that his column “felt very judgemental.”

Comment: Although Crowder’s stat, about how those who wait to have sex until they’re married have a high level of sexual satisfaction, is correct, it came from a study, published as The “Social Organization of Sexuality,” done in 1992 – but one that is quoted by many so called “values” groups, abstinence promoters, and “crisis pregnancy” resource guides. So it would be interesting to see some new data. But Amy is right. His column is full of the self righteousness of the professional, Christian male virgin who has a problem with women - as shown by his question about whether this “floozie schtick has really empowered any women out there.” (Floozie?? Who even uses that word? Hello, the 20’s are calling and they want their lexicon back!!) And Crowder’s comment about the “myth of unrealistic abstinence only education" is just plain wrong – just ask Bristol Palin. If we want our youth to end up with STD’s, then abstinence is the way to go because when they do have sex (and they will – I went to Catholic school, trust me!) they won’t take the necessary precautions. That he and Gutfeld are in synch on this issue shows, once again, Gutfeld’s odious misogyny which no amount of “humor” can disguise. He should rename his show “Views from the Gutter.” (And Amy, you rock!!!)