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The Glenn Beck Week That Was; The “So What?” Edition

Reported by Guest Blogger - December 13, 2009 -

Guest blogged by Aunty Em

When one writes weekly (weakly?) about Glenn Beck, one has such a target rich environment. Partially because Brech, in his scattershot manner, goes after so many targets himself. As part of his usual Conspiracy Carnival and Midway this week, Beck continued his campaign against Van Jones despite his having been out of government for months. The SEIU were called “thugs” regularly. Anita Jones left office after Beck's barrage of criticism for her remarks about Mao. John Podesta, transition chief, was castigated because HE’S NOW THE BOSS OF VAN JONES! [See how easy it is to slip into Beck speak?] Health Insurance is something Beck decided has to be stopped. He helped bring down ACORN with The Pimp & Ho Show. Climate Change Science. Saul Alinsky. Andy Stern. Janeane Garofolo. George Soros. The entire country of India, including its health system, not to mention the Ganges River. No. Really.

So many targets for The Beck Conspiracy Machine and so little time to churn out, day after day, ad infinitum, nebulous evidence that really means The End Of Life As We Know It.

And, of course, The Big Target is always The President of the United States of America, because behind every one of these smears is, let’s face it, the “guilt by association” to POTUS.

However, it’s not for these reasons that writing about “Lonesome Roads Scholar” Beck is a target rich environment. It’s merely because he’s such a buffoon. But a dangerous buffoon nevertheless. The ADL has chosen him, and him alone, for the dubious honour of “Fearmongerer-in-Chief,” despite all the other worthy candidates. Others have taken note that the Beckereeno’s tactics are (maybe not so) surprisingly similar to those of previous ‘Merkan demagogues, like ‘Tailgunner’ Joe McCarthy and ‘Father’ Charles Coughlin, men who perfected The Guilt By Association Business™, now powering the conglomerate Beck Industries, a wholly owned and operated Money Machine at Faux Noise

Last week, day after day, The Beck Smear Machine and Coffee Klatch™ had a new target. For those who like Creamer with their coffee, Beck’s Bad Boy went after Robert Creamer, author of “Stand Up Straight: How Progressives Can Win.” His biggest charge seemed to be that the book, a blueprint he assures us Obama is following right down to the index, was – GASP! – written in prison.

However, many great books have been written in prison. In September The Guardian had a Top Ten List of books written behind bars, that included “Le Morte d’Arthur” by Sir Thomas Mallory, “De Profundis” by Oscar Wilde, and “Pilgrims Progress” by John Bunyan. While I’m not shilling for Amazon, it includes on its website a list of authors who toiled behind bars, including St. Paul, Cervantes, O. Henry, and Ghandi. And, fascination with prison writings goes back a long ways, as this 1898 article makes clear.

Which adds up to an entire, “So what?” A book written in prison? By a felon? Oh, please. Spare me the histrionics.

In fact, it’s time we started applying the “So What? Rule of Thumb™ to anything Beckereeno tells us. Dunn quoted Mao? So what? Obama believes in Social Justice? So what? America is being “fundamentally transformed”? So what?

What’s the end game, Glenn? “What is this country going to look like by the end of next year?” he asked at one point on Tuesday. If The Beckerhead had his way it would be a bagel and smear for everybody. I made up the bagel part.

Ellen had a good take on Day One of Beck’s Dinner with a Smear of Creamer. Tuesday’s show, Day Two with a Smear of Creamer, was quintessential Beck, smarmy, sarcastic, and showing delusions of grandeur from the very first words:

“Hello America. It’s good to be with you again. ‘The Prison Plan’ marches on. That’s what I’m calling Obama’s new Health Care Plan because that’s, apparently, where it was born: in prison. Surprsingly enough. The guy who wrote it is from Chicago. Heh, heh, heh. Who would have seen that one coming?

“By the way, the phone – yes – it’s still working. Obama has the number. Everybody at the White House, they got the number. They can just call me at anytime if they would like to correct this story ‘cause…Sure they would, if they could.”

Right, Glenn. We’ve all got your number by now.

And then he was off for another 40-some minutes of smear, linking Creamer to everything nefarious going on in the White House and purposely mispronouncing his wife’s name. You could tell it was purposeful by Beck’s impish smile as he looked off camera at someone. [Remember this point, please.]

That’s why it was so amusing to see Robert Creamer push back at funnyman Ben Gleck™ midweek. “This is a man who lies about everything,” Creamer said. “It is important,” he continued, “for the targets of the smear machine to push back and to use whatever kind of means we can to prevent him from continuing these kinds of reckless charges.”

That prompted a full-throated defense from the notoriously thin-skinned Rodeo Clown, who proclaimed over and over that he’s not a liar, despite the many falsehoods in which we have caught him. Searching “Glenn Beck & lies” on the Googleizer returns “about 2,520,000” hits, a number which, no doubt, grows hourly.

Thursday’s show also included one of those Beckian moments I love the most. It’s when we all fall down the rabbit hole with him. As if he’s the host of a post-modern, pre-meta, tee vee review show, he took issue with the stated opinion of a fictional character on the NBC program “Law and Order,” spending a good 7 minutes refuting a fictional character for holding a diametrically opposed opinion. No, really. This on what purports to be a News Network.

I hope he reviews NCIS next.

[To be fair: Loofah Lad O’Reilly was another smear merchant mentioned by the fictional L&O character and The Falafel King also struck back at its producer, Dick Wolf.]

Creamer was not the only one to strike back at Beck. Lately there has been more push-back against Beck. Think Progress also posted about the “Law and Order” story, while Media Matters has aired some disturbing opinions held by Lord Christopher Monckton, a Global Warming Denier who appears frequently on The Rodeo Clown Hour. The Piast Institute, a nonprofit group dedicated to promoting the understanding of Poland and Polish Americans, pushed back after Beck deliberately (see above) mispronunced the name of Creamer’s wife, Rep. Jan Schakowsky.

Here’s where Beck tried to play cute. He opened Thursday’s show with, “Welcome to the Glenn Beck Program. I have made you a promise from the first day that I started this show that I would lead with my mistakes. Well, I want to lead with a mistake. The other night I had trouble pronouncing the name of Robert Creamer’s wife. Oh no. Big one. Big Mistake. Congressman— Congresswoman Jan Schakowski. Well, the Chicago papers and The Huffingtom Post were quick to report that Polish groups were very, very upset with me because, apparently, I smeared all Polish people by mispronouncing her name. And, I want to lead with that. The only problem is, with the complaint — ummm, well there’s a lot of problems with it. But the main one, which I’m sure the Huffington Post and everybody else will lead with the correction and apologize: the Congresswoman isn’t Polish. Ummm She’s Russian. Da! That’s what I was thinking.”

This is such a disingenuous defense that it hardly bears scrutiny, but let’s hold it up to the light for a minute. First he calls it a “big mistake” while ignoring every other “big mistake” he’s made on the air. Then, because no Polish people were harmed in the making of his tee vee show, he believes HuffPo and others owe him an apology. A few questions for Beck, or anyone else who cares to answer: Who owes the Russian people an apology? For that matter, who owes immigrants in general an apology for purposely mispronouncing a name that isn’t as clearly "Patriotic" and "American" and monosyllabic as the dullish “Glenn Beck?” Who will apologize for this thinly concealed xenophobia and “otherness?”

[FOR THE RECORD: Huffpo, noting that the original information that Schakowsky is Polish-American came from her staff, which had since clarified her heritage, corrected their own record about Schakowsky's ethnicity on December 9, one day before Beck complained they owed him an apology. Will Glenn Beck lead with this correction?]

Speaking of xenophobia, Those in India have taken notice of Beck’s hateful diatribe on India this week, as Punjab Newsline and India News clearly demonstrates. Expect to hear more from this subcontinent. He may not be aware, because his trashing of India was so superficial, that there’s a shitload of people to get angry with him over there. For that matter there’s a shitload of Indian doctors and/or doctors trained in India in these here You Knighted States. The Beckbassador can certainly pick some interesting targets.

Since he already attacks Chicago with regularity, will we now see The Chicago Art Blog as The Beckinista’s next target? It recently ran an amusing look at Beck’s Tragical History Tour of Hidden Communistic Imagery on New York Architecture.

Daily, more and more people are speaking out against Glenn Beck, his tactics, and his buffoonery. More and more, he is using his show as a platform to go after those who have been critical of him and to defend himself. In fact, in that regard, he’s sounding more and more like Loofah Lad every day.

With all my love,

Aunty Em