Home Store In Memoriam Deborah Newsletter Forum Topics Blogfeed Blogroll Facebook MySpace Contact Us About

Bill “I’m Not Gay” O’Reilly Says He Doesn’t Get “Urges” Like “That Gay Guy” Adam Lambert

Reported by Priscilla - December 12, 2009 -

Bill O’Reilly stands tall as a proud heterosexual. His sexual harassment lawsuit and vast quantities of bodacious booty seen on his “Culture Warriors” segments prove that when it comes to being a ladies man, Bill is king of them all. And because he’s just so darned butch, he seems to get excited about Adam Lambert who is openly gay; and as such could be a threat to good Christian heterosexuals like Bill O’Reilly. Last April, America’s macho daddy and alpha male seemed concerned about a photo of Adam Lambert kissing a guy. He asked “On the internet, there are embarrassing pictures of Mr. Lambert. These pictures, that hint that he is gay, will they have an effect on this program which is a cultural phenomenon in America?" (Uh, Bill, who cares?!) Flash forward to December and Bill’s overinflated cranium is still engorged with thoughts about Adam Lambert who is on the list of Barbara Walters’ “ten most interesting people.” (O’Reilly is not on the list). Last night, O’Reilly interviewed Walters about her list. During the discussion of Mr. Lambert, O’Reilly made one of his most surreal and vaguely discomforting revelations!

In going through Ms. Walters’ list, O’Reilly referred to Lambert, number 3, as “that gay guy.” When Walters asked why Bill used that description, O’Reilly shouted “that’s what he trades on, he trades on this.” Video of Lambert’s performance was shown as Bill shouted over Walter’s comment that he was being homophobic, Bill screamed "don’t give me homophobic, he trades on this. He goes on ABC and he does all kinds of…” Bill was sputtering when Walters said “not because he’s gay.” Bill was in true manic mode (I was wondering if he was going to tell Barbara Walters to shut up) when he yelled “Wait a minute, hold it, he didn’t do that stuff because he’s gay. Is that what you’re telling me?” Walters responded “because he got the urge.” Are you ready? Please swallow any liquids you are ingesting. Ready, set, go – “Oh the urge.” Walters said “that’s the way he performs.” Bill yelled I’m not gay. Would I ever get an urge like that? I doubt it, I doubt it.Would you? I don’t think so.” When Walters said that Lambert “was expressing himself,” O’Reilly said “in a way that was gay.” When Walters said that Lambert also has talent, Bill said “to quote Seinfeld, not that there’s anything wrong it.” (Really?) Walters said that during her special on the “10,” she, for the first time asked two people about their sexuality. O’Reilly laughed, “You didn’t know this? You wasted time on this?” She responded that she encouraged Lambert to speak about his homosexuality and whether he kept it hidden…” Bill guffawed “kept it hidden, are you kidding me.” After Bill joked about how “old fashioned” he is, the conversation turned to another topic.

Comment: Bill does have “urges” – urges that resulted in talk of loofah/falafel shower fantasies and vibrators with names – urges that resulted in beaucoup bucks being paid to an O’Reilly employee who was not a willing partner in the conversation. So why is O’Reilly so obsessed about Adam Lambert who, unlike O’Reilly, is talented and who, unlike O’Reilly, doesn’t earn his living on lies and smears which in this case seem to be a bit homophobic. Why isn’t Bill this upset about heterosexual dance moves that are frequently featured on the networks – one of which is run by his parent company. If Bill watched Walters’ special, he would have seen Lady Gaga kissing another woman. Why no outrage about that? But here’s the thing - if Bill were so secure in his sexuality (no bad urges for him, nosireee) why does Adam Lambert’s sexuality and AMA performance get him so excited? Maybe he's just jealous that he didn't make Walter's list. Methinks he doth protest too much?