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The Beck Week That Was; The (Belated) Thanksgiving Edition

Reported by Ellen - November 30, 2009 -

Guest blogged by Aunty Em

I decided to take a page out of Glenn “We Need to Start Thinking Like the Chinese” Beck’s book. On Wednesday he reminded us, “Great time of year because we are reminded we have a lot to be thankful for in this country. Please, I beg of you. Pray like you’ve never prayed before and give thanks for the amazing time—as bad as things may be—we still are living in the most amazing time, and the most amazing country, in the history of mankind.”

Here are things for which I am grateful:

. The News Hounds, who watch Faux Noise so I don’t have to, especially those who follow Beck-ham closely during the week;

. That Pops indulges my habit of note-taking and watching The Beckereeno between 5 and 6PM EST;

· That Beck is only on tee vee 5 days a week instead of 7;

· That there are people promoting a 2012 Palin/Beck ticket, which would be hailed as a stimulus package for comedians;

· I am grateful I don’t have to listen to The Ben Gleck Radio Drama Theatre Players™, which would add another 15 hours of Beckerhead-listening to my regime. Unfortunately, that also means I miss gems like his brilliant torpedoing such a fun candidacy with a dismissive, “But Palin-Beck — can you imagine, can you imagine what an administration with the two of us would be like? What? Come on! She’d be yapping or something, and I’d say, 'I’m sorry, why am I hearing your voice? I’m not in the kitchen.' This remark is so OUT THERE sexist he’ll either have to take it back or insist he was making a big joke to see if he could stir up the evil libruls and feministas to grab their pitchforks;

· That I’ve never blamed the Anti-Defamation League for the plight of The Jews after it accused me of being The Fear-Monger-in-Chief;

· That others have appreciated my analogy of Beckerhead to Father Charles Coughlin;

· I am grateful the local corporate coffee shop allows us to sit on the patio to argue Faux Noise and The Beckereeno for hours on end, and for Kaz, Malcolm, Alan One and Alan Two for being a receptive audience for my columns before they are finished;

· I am grateful I’ve stopped celebrating Thanksgiving in November, preferring to commemorate a simple harvest festival in October, as I did in Canada the many years I lived there;

· I am further grateful I don’t buy into the Thanksgiving Founding Fathers’ Mythology, like Beck and his ilk:

“During the first days in the new world with the pilgrims, they believed that they were going to build a new Promised Land. It was on a stormy Friday evening in 1620. A band of nine pilgrims, half a day from their families - you know, they had to sail away on this little boat. And they were a half a day away from the Mayflower.

“They were scouting the Massachusetts coastline for a suitable place to settle. Well, it was the morning, and they barely escaped with a skirmish with the Indians and now they were scared. They were lost. They were out of food. Their oars were broken. They had washed up on a shore.

“It nearly overturned in this heavy storm. Well, they made it back to shore, but they only made it on what is really almost - it's a little island but almost a sandbar. The next morning, they drive their sails in search for food.

“But they discovered that it was the Sabbath now, and rather than sailing back to their families, they spent the rest of the day resting, worshiping, and giving thanks for their deliverance. Even though shipwrecked, lost, under siege, hungry, their families were away, they gave thanks. They honored the Sabbath day to keep it holy.

“They gave thanks, thanks for being delivered from the hands of the Indians, from the storms, from the tyranny of the king. That was America's first true Thanksgiving. The pilgrims were so devoutly religious that everything they had done for the past two decades had been to prepare themselves to fulfill their dream of creating God's new Israel.

“They wanted to live a new covenant. When they embarked for the new world, William Bradford proclaimed their mission was as vital as that of Moses when the Israelites - when they went out of Egypt.”

And, finally, this American Thanksgiving, I am grateful to see that such a fantastic, uber-rich personage like Glenn Beck is FINALLY going to bat for The Little Guy, and defending the Socialist Obama agenda, when he also declared on Wednesday, “Right now, the poorest of the poor, they don't have the money to stay in their homes and that's why SEIU and ACORN and the president and everybody is fighting to keep those people in their homes. The poorest of the poor, they don't have the money to go against the big, evil, rich bank or companies that want to take those homes. That's the whole housing crisis.

“Keep people in their homes, because the home is sacred. You own it.”

Too bad the Pilgrims did not believe the same thing about the Native Americans in 1620. Hope everyone had a Happy Thanksgiving.

With all my love,
Aunty Em