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Bill O’Reilly Paternalistic Pablum In “Parade” Puff Piece

Reported by Priscilla - August 12, 2009 -

“Parade” magazine is so not the NY Times Review of Books. Its short articles (with some recipes thrown it) about shining, happy people and sage advice given by pop culture pundits are meant for those with short attentions spans. At least it’s recyclable. So as I was putting getting ready to toss this Sunday’s edition into the recycle bin, imagine my surprise in seeing on the front cover (with dreamy Brad Pitt) these words: “What Children Learn Can Learn From President Obama by Bill O’Reilly.” WTF???? Bill O’Reilly praising Barack Obama? It’s the end of the world as we know it and I don’t feel fine!!!

O’Reilly’s homage to President Obama was very nice and well written. I don’t have a problem with that. But I do have a problem with Bill O'Reilly giving advice to kids. . I mean, here is a guy that said that a kidnapped teenage boy, who was repeatedly raped, enjoyed his captivity. Here is a guy who feels that children should not be around “clustered gays.” So for him to be preaching to children is discomforting. And what is even more discomforting is the article, on the Parade website, which provides a glowing look at America’s Daddy – a look that forced me to stifle a gag reflex as it painted a picture of somebody who clearly isn’t the Bill O’Reilly that we all know and love (not!). Obviously, Parade’s Ellen Kaplan was absolutely charmed by Bill, who had invited her to his”beautiful suburban home” (not your average “suburban” home – more like a seaside estate!), along with some minority kids. (As it wasn’t clear if these were “neighborhood” kids, one wonders if they were bussed in from somewhere else.). Bill’s wife was there (she who was pregnant while Pappa Bear was doing some dirty talking that cost him a large chunk of change.) and (get out your barf bags) “she kept her easygoing calm, tucking in shirts and patting down hair--including Bill's.” (aww, how sweet!) This comment, however, captured some of the inner Bill: “O'Reilly, ever in control, had picked the best locations for the shoot and timed it so the sun would be in the right location.” (Sorry, Bill, sunlight doesn’t make you look any better!). The best part of the article, though, was when Bill was explaining why he wrote the Obama piece. Ever the narcissist and ever the liar, Bill said this: “But I admire what he's done as a person. I came from poor circumstances and I'm impressed by how he lifted himself up.” Lets set the record straight here. Bill’s father father was an oil company executive whose annual income was $35k, adjusted for inflation, is $100k now. His mother was a physical therapist. Bill attended posh and pricy Chaminade High and not on scholarship. Bill did not grow up in Leavittown; but in the more affluent suburb of Westbury. If this was “poor,” than Sean Hannity’s blue collar upbringing was downright Dickensian. So there you have it.

Oh, I forgot to mention the photo. There was Bill, sitting like benevolent Jesus in one of those saccharine Sunday School illustrations, with diverse children. Yuk. This is man who named his vibrator; but as I say, the Obama “lessons” were fine. The on line article was truly barf worthy! The Sunday “Parade” piece did have a McDonald’s coupon on the second page…

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"Suffer the little children..."