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Chickenhawk Red Eye Panel Mocks Stricken Canadian Army As Slackers

Reported by Ellen - March 22, 2009 -

FOX News' Greg Gutfeld has never put his own fanny on the line for his country but that didn't stop him and a similarly non-serving Red Eye panel from mocking the Canadian military as a bunch of slackers while overlooking the extremely heavy casualties it has received assisting the United States in the war in Afghanistan. As part of the “joke,” Gutfeld also suggested the Canadian military is making us more vulnerable to attack. With video.

The recent YouTube video below, called “How to lose friends and alienate countries,” posted by “taffyincanada,” shows an episode of Red Eye, FOX News' answer to The Daily Show, in which Gutfeld repeatedly smeared and jeered the Canadian military. Gutfeld either was ignorant of or deliberately withheld from the audience the fact that the Canadian military is fighting in one of the most dangerous pockets in Afghanistan and has suffered a disproportionately high number of casualties (In 2007, it was 2.6 - 4 times higher than British or American soldiers in Afghanistan and 2.6 times higher than the death toll of U.S. Soldiers in Iraq). Not long ago, Canada's Lieutenant General Andrew Leslie announced that, the Afghanistan mission is taking a dramatic toll on the military and, due to personnel and equipment shortages, it may need a “year-long break from operations when its current mission in Afghanistan ends in 2011."

With evident disgust, Gutfeld opened the “commentary” by sneering that Leslie was “an unusual name for a man – yes” as the Red Eye panelists laughed derisively. Gutfeld “joked” that the Canadian military wanted to “do some yoga, paint landscapes, run on the beach in gorgeous white capri pants.”

“Isn't this the perfect time to invade this ridiculous country?” Gutfeld asked panelist Doug Benson. Of course, what Gutfeld meant was that someone besides himself should do the invading.

“I didn't even know that they were in the war,” Benson said, adding he thought Canada was where someone went to avoid fighting. By the way, I could find no evidence that Benson ever served his country, either. He quipped that this would be Canada's tourism draw, “Come on by while we nap!”

More uproarious laughter ensued. Gutfeld said approvingly, “Exactly!”

Gutfeld suggested that Canada was just taking advantage of a military tail wind from the U.S. He asked, “Would Canada be able to get away with this if they didn't share a border with the most powerful country in the universe?”

Panelist Monica Crowley, who admires Donald Rumsfeld's “successful effort to bring freedom to Afghanistan,” nodded in sarcastic agreement.

“No, they probably wouldn't,” regular Bill Schulz said. I could find no evidence that he ever served his country beyond sarcastically smearing our ally, either. “Does this surprise any of us?" Schulz asked. "We have police officers and they have Mounties. Our cops ride heavily armored cars. They ride horses. We have bullet-proof vests. They have wonderful little red jackets THAT CAN BE SEEN A MILE AWAY (his emphasis). This is not a smart culture, Greg.”

Crowley, who made it 0 for 4 for military service, giggled. She acknowledged that the Canadians are “good allies” but added, “This is why I'm so disappointed in them.” She joked, “So they're getting manicures, they're getting pedicures. Everybody needs a little time off.” She then agreed that, like Europe, Canada “couldn't take a year off from their military if they didn't have the security backdrop of the United States.”

Crowley continued with the odd joke that Sarah Palin might be in trouble because this might send a signal to the Russians to invade.

Then Gutfeld called on “capitalist pig” Jonathan Hoenig. “J-Ho, should we be worried at all about unguarded borders here or is their military pretty ineffective at all to begin with and it was always a problem?”

Hoenig began, “I have a tremendous respect, Greg, for anyone who serves – Canadian, American...”

“I do too,” Gutfeld said. Sure you do, Grego. You just proved what kind of respect you have.

As readers have probably guessed, business expert Hoenig did not, apparently, break the non-serving record of the panelists. But at least he didn't sneer at the soldiers. “We've tied these kids hands. I mean, after all these years, we can't even say militant Islam... I mean, my God let's win this war! And I think we've been soft for too long. And it's a shame to have to keep them there year after year after year when we're not actually going after the enemy at hand,” Hoenig said.

Schulz then took a swipe at the Mexicans, “joking” that maybe they'll copy Canada and want a siesta while “relying on our army, too.”

Benson was asked for the last word. He replied, “How about evildoers who're saying thanks for the heads up on that year thing, Canada?”

The panel broke out in loud laughter again.

“Very good!” Gutfeld exclaimed, as Benson beamed with pride.

What a bunch of disgraces to this country.

Please consider emailing FOX at redeye@foxnews.com.

3/22/09 Update: Gutfeld apologized, though he claims he "may have been misunderstood" because he meant no disrespect to the Canadian military. May have been misunderstood? Now THAT'S funny.