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Mailbox Funnies - XIX

Reported by Nancy - November 4, 2007 -

It's been quite a while since the last time I posted a collection of emails sent to us but obviously intended for someone else. Perhaps for ANYONE else, but clearly not for us (yeah, they're usually for Fox, but not always). Could it possibly be that the ignoramuses who don't know how to use a computer, or email, or much of anything else, are finally giving up & going away? Nah, that would make life too easy for the rest of us. Anyhow, here's the latest batch of Sunday funnies. As usual, identifying info has been deleted to protect the ignorant. Enjoy!

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Subject: Fox News
This morning here in *** I caught the very end of a story concerning kidnapped soldiers and the time lag between that time of kidnapping, the getting the Fizer court warrant & Atty. Gen Gonzalez's go ahead was eight hours and to no avail.  Could I get the entire story and the time lags?

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Subject: Fox Business News - Channel No. for ***
Please help us find the channel here in ***

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Subject: gay parade in San Fransico
I realized to day or yesterday that  the homeless who live in San Francisco were more than irritating those San Franciscans upon whose thresholds they pooped. How come there was no out cry from any TV news programs when Gay Parade folks were fornicating in the parade and demonstrating the use of chains , whips etc.?

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Subject: BYA for Hemmer
Hello.
What happened to Jack Parr?  Hemmer reminds me of him with his pleasant attitude.
*** ***. ***, **

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Subject: Trying To Get In Touch With Jim Broussard
We are trying to get in touch with Jim Broussard (the one that took down the American Flag) to come onto a Conservative radio show on the net its called *** *** hosted by *** *** he also has a myspace page (***) and a website (***)
We see Mr. Broussard as a true American Hero and we would be honored if he could take a few mins to come onto the show. You can get in touch with me or Mr. Cholesterol at the below information
You can email Mr. *** on myspace or ***@yahoo.com
Thank You Very Much my info is below
*** ***, ***@yahoo.com, ***-***-****

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Subject: Newt Gingrich for President
If anyone's counting, my husband and I are extremely disappointed that Newt Gingrich will not be able to run for President thanks to the McCain-Feingold Campaign Finance Laws.  I fear there are many who HIDE similar interests and run anyway with intentions to DEAL with it if or when they get caught.  Newt's appearance of total honesty is what is so appealing to us about him.  That and his unabashed interest in seeing this nation return to the ONE God of the universe.  He appears intelligent, seems to stay calm when others fall apart and start yelling and screaming, seems to be compassionate and has a neat, clean appearance.  We may just write in a vote for him anyway.  We're tired of voting for the lesser of two evils.  Even if our vote doesn't count, we may just vote for the person we believe could best lead this country back to some semblance of sanity and spirituality. Thank you. *** ***
 
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Subject: (no subject)
what exactly is this is this for reporting possible stories?

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Subject: batman movie explosion
i'm just curious, what kind of carbon footprint do you think that explosion made, and who is going to pay the offsets for it? thanks *** ***

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Subject: (no subject)
I hope that this is Hemmer's BYA. I am curious as to what is happening, or has happened, to that politian who, I believe was from Louisanna,  supposedly took a bribe or bribes and he placed about $90,000 in a freezer in his house. If this is true, is he doing time and if not, why not?

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Subject: Fires in Idaho
I live about 60 miles from ***, Idaho. 41,000 acres are burning all around the towns of ***, *** and ***, Idaho. We in neighboring towns are smoked in and the pass road to *** is closing frequently. Hundreds of people are evacuated. BUT, there is no news coverage. Besides the people, there are horses to be evacuated. We in the neighboring valleys would be happy to help but can't find out where to get in touch. Fires have been covered throughout the summer and this one is impacting more than 6,000 people, yet there are no news stories. We need information. Thanks. ***

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Subject: Other Illegals?
Are hispanics the only problem illegals?  I would like to know if there is a problem with other nationalities such as Europeans, Asians, etc.  As yet I haven't heard any mention of others and you could be the first.  Great program and keep it up.  ***

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Subject: Fwd: YOU HAVE BEEN CHOOSEN FOR CAMPAIGN AGAINST GLOBAL WARMING
R/S,
I GOT FOLLOWING MESSAGE WEATHER IT IS TRUE OR FALSE WANT TO CONFIRM.PLEASE HELP ME.