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Mailbox Funnies - Not a Paris Hilton Edition

Reported by Nancy - July 30, 2007 -

It's been a *very* long while since the last time we posted a collection of emails sent to us but obviously intended for someone else. Perhaps for ANYONE else, but clearly not for us (yeah, they're usually for Fox, but not always: look at the very last one in this collection, then go remove any & all yellow plastic crap from your porch). I can't understand how people can use a computer, get to our website, click on the "contact us" link & STILL not be able to figure out that we're not Information Central. Maybe they don't care, or they figure that we'll obligingly do their work for them. Guess again.

Anyhow, here's the latest batch. As usual, identifying info has been deleted to protect the ignorant. Enjoy!

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Subject: FOX NEWS SUNDAY, POWER PLAYER
HI,   SOMETIME WITHIN THE LAST YEAR,  CHRIS WALLACE HAD ON AS POWER PLAYER OF THE WEEK A FORMER I BELIEVE FOOTBALL COACH OR PLAYER, NOT SURE,  WHO WAS OR HAD CREATED A BOARDING SCHOOL FOR TROUBLED TEENS.  I WOULD LIKE MORE INFORMATION ON THIS MAN AND WHERE I CAN GET MORE INFO ON THE SCHOOL

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Subject: Concerned:
I  change the news channel with Fox and Friends because of the buzz the hosts seem to get showing off the porno crowd and their nudity.  It is very offensive...Please!

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Subject: Gerhaldo, Blacks, Rosie & Paris
Shawn, Do you really think you will ever hear any Mexican or any Black, say anything or put the blame on any of their counterparts. Gerhaldo cannot do it, nor can any Black. You can hear it with your own ears and they still will not agree with you. They cannot or will not take or put blame on their cohorts. Rosie is a moron...  Paris Hilton is not hot, I am 70 and I would not give her a second look.

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Subject: Karen Hanretty
Heard Karen Hanretty on MSNBC today expound on the fact that Rudy Giuliani is not a "family values" guy, and doesn't fit into the Republican Party.  First of all, what gives her that decision -making power  and secondly, our beloved Ronald Reagan didn't exactly have a relationship with his children that one would point to with pride.  She sounded more like a Democrat today and should be severely chastised and dumped!

***
Subject: illegal alein
Hi Shaun and Allan,
I was listing to my local news this morning and almost cut my throat shaving, news report stated a 24yr old Milwaukee police officer had been suspended for being an "Illegal Alien". Seems when he snuck into our country 14yrs ago he assumed the identity of a dead cousin. Haven't herd another word about it since on TV. Only other mention was on WISN talk radio by Mark Belling. Thought you might like to know.
Best Regards, *** ***
p/s watch you nightly, great work!

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Subject: GOOD MORNING
Please stop showing Paris Hiltons neews, also Coulter was so boring, can't you find some decent news for us to watch, there are some good things happening in this world.

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Subject: John Kasich
Fox News:  What has happened to John Kasich??  We miss him!

***
Subject: reunion posting
How do we post our upcoming Navy reunion in your paper the St. Petersburg Times.
Please send info.