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Neil Cavuto Heroically Soldiers on Despite These Excruciatingly Boring Times

Reported by Melanie - March 22, 2007 -

You gotta feel sorry for Fox's "business news" anchor, Neil Cavuto. The "Dems" are in control in Washington and they're going to hold endless, boring hearings about stupid stuff for the next two years in order to play gotcha with the poor Republicans. They're gonna create gridlock because they have no idea what to do about anything anyway. Other than that pesky subprime whatchmahooey thing, the economy's doing great. And things are good in Iraq, only problem is, the liberal media won't tell anyone so what's a "business news" anchor to do? I mean, what's there to talk about already?! Well, struggle as he might, Cavuto did manage to cobble a show together today (March 23, 2007) and let's just say his viewers will no doubt tune in tomorrow to see and hear (mostly see) some more of Cavuto's "business news."

After a segment about Elizabeth Edwards, one questioning whether Democrats are in or out of control, and one featuring Duncan Hunter who whined about how the Democrats need to get their rears in gear and pass a war funding bill, Cavuto hosted a guy named Jason Pellegrino, the proprietor of the website, HotEnough.org.

HotEnough.org is a dating site that only accepts people who are voted "hot enough" by its members. Fox went to a split screen during the entire segment with the screen showing pictures of the site's homepage and of some of the available men and women (including one woman who was wearing a tiny thong bathing suit) being a third bigger than the screen showing Pellegrino.

After the aren't-these-babes-hot! segment, Cavuto moved on to Vince McMahon, the owner of World Wrestling Entertainment. McMahon was on to talk about a "Hair vs. Hair" or "Battle of the Billionaires" match that will take place between he and Donald Trump at WrestleMania 23. Read more about this important business news, here. Whoever wins -- McMahon or Trump -- shaves his head. Exciting huh?

Moving on, now that his audience had a little violence with its sex, Cavuto turned back to sex. His next guest was Tennessee state senator Doug Jackson who is trying to pass a law in that state banning "Girls Gone Wild" ads. Sure enough, Fox went to another split screen, with the larger of the two continuously showing video of girls gone wild until Fox went to a full-screen halfway through the segment and stayed there until the second Jackson and Cavuto signed off.

Rounding out the show was a "debate" about whether women receive equal compensation in the workplace (this is still an unresolved issue on Fox) and a segment featuring a 12 year old "entrepreneur" who has a sno cone cart.

So, you know, as Cavuto proved today, when the world is essentially right with itself and there isn't a whole lot going on, a "business news" anchor can always slap up a few segments about sex and well, again, you know, you gotta come up with SOMETHING!