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Red Eye Offensive and Boring

Reported by Marie Therese - February 20, 2007 -

It's been very difficult to find a way to report on the new FOX show Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld, an hour of inane and offensive drivel delivered by the least funny group of people I've ever seen on TV. So today instead of a report, I thought I'd give you, our readers, a chance to vote in another poll. The quotes below the fold are from the show that aired Friday, February 16, 2007.

Read over the eight quotes and then vote for the one you find most offensive.

Option A. GREG GUTFELD: "Rehab for celebrities is different. It's not a life-changing thing. What it is is just something you do to dry out before you go out and get wasted again, right Bill?"

BILL SCHULZ, Red Eye Producer: "Absolutely. I can't afford rehab so what I do is lie naked in my own filth in the fetal position for two days straight and I'm good. I sweat it all out."

RACHEL MARSDEN, syndicated columnist and convicted stalker: Well, I think it's probably cheap rent and good meals, right, for a few days. Better than drive-throughs and McDonalds."

*****
Option B. GREG GUTFELD: "So, these British researchers did a study and what they did is that they looked at the research of over 76 women that were admitted into hospitals, claiming their drinks were spiked ... There's no traces. What actually happened was these girls got really, really drunk or were on other drugs and were too ashamed to admit it. So, what they're basically saying is that this whole fear of getting your drinks spiked is actually an exaggeration, much like global warming and like killer bees. ... I think by women exaggerating the amount of drinks getting spiked, it kind of gives the guys who really do it for a living a bad rap, because if you only spike drinks once and a while you could probably get away with it."

*****
Option C. KY HENDERSON, Entertainment Journalist: "You know. Madonna does kind of remind me of Gandhi, in that, you know, as I understand it, he was also very fond of cone bras."

*****
Option D. GREG GUTFELD: "If you're a man, you never get bored with being rich and famous because there are all these women you can have sex with so you just keep having sex with women. When you're a woman and you're famous, it's like where do you go? Ya' gotta start doin' charity work because, it's like - it's like, they don't have the same sexual, you know, crazy desires that male celebrities have."

****
Option E. GREG GUTFELD: "When my mom was pregnant, she smoked and she drank and I turned out not bad, so I'm thinking. Is our contemporary society paying too much attention on (sic) tradition. I mean, basically, this planet's like, what, four thousand years old.

CHOIRE SICHA, Managing Editor, Gawker.com : Forty-five hundred.

GUTFELD: Forty five hundred years old.

Comment: The earth is actually 4.5 billion* years old.

*****

Option F. RACHEL MARSDEN: "Well, look at all the women in Africa who give birth to all sorts of kids and they're born healthy. And they don't eat at all. They don't eat at all! Apparently, there's rampant AIDS over there, too, and some of the kids are born fine despite some of their parents having AIDS and not eating. Madonna just adopted one, right?

*****

Option G. GREG GUTFELD: "Almost all of creation is due to alcohol because the only people that would ever think of having kids are drunks."

*****

Option H: KY HENDERSON: "Everyone cheats at NASCAR. Winning NASCAR is about getting an advantage and that advantage is cheating. It's just kind of accepted that every team does whatever they can without getting caught and so these guys got caught. Maybe it's a little worse that what's usually done but ... that's how you win."


* Post corrected 2-20-07 10:48 Am EST: Typo corrected. "million"changed to "billion". H/T to biz-boy for the catch. - MT