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The Big Finale. Apocalypse. Hidden Imam vs J. C. Get Yer' Tickets & Popcorn, Folks. It's All Gonna Happen Next Week!

Reported by Marie Therese - August 16, 2006 -

Yesterday morning E. D. Hill interviewed Joel C. Rosenberg, whom she introduced as a "terror analyst" and author of the book "The Copper Scroll." Rosenberg proceeded to claim that on August 22nd Iran's President Ahmadinejad could be planning a "cataclysmic event" to celebrate a holy day in the Shi'a Muslim calendar. Hill was right there feeding her guest leading questions guaranteed to elicit answers that would send thrills and chills down the spines of the poor deluded FOX viewers. She never bothered to tell her audience about Rosenberg's credentials as a mideast expert, probably because he doesn't have any.

Joel C. Rosenberg himself told FaithfulReader.com that he is " ... an evangelical Christian from an Orthodox Jewish background with an interest in end times prophecy; I also have fifteen years of experience in Washington that I use to make my political thrillers feel as real as possible." He continued: "Is the rise of a Russian-Iranian alliance against Israel actually the fulfillment of ancient prophecies found in Ezekiel 38 and 39? Is the apocalyptic War of Gog and Magog finally at hand? What would it be like to live at a time when the earth experiences the wrath of God? Would it motivate us to live more like Christ, or paralyze us with fear? Ezekiel 36 and 37 - the rebirth of the State of Israel -have already come true. Who is to say Ezekiel 38 and 39 won't happen soon?" Later he spoke about his personal religious beliefs: "I met my wife, Lynn, in Campus Crusade and our faith is central to our marriage, to how we raise our four sons, and to how we invest our time and resources. We believe the return of Christ is near. That's what drives us to share our faith as often as we can. We want everyone to have a chance to know Him personally and give their lives to Him while they still have a chance."

After graduating from Syracuse University in the early 1990s with a degree in film, Rosenberg moved to Washington to work for the Heritage Foundation and Empower America, both conservative institutions. Afterwards he was employed as a research director by Rush Limbaugh for two years where his duties included being the radio host's "eyes and ears in Washington". Rosenberg left Limbaugh to work on on Steve Forbes' Presidential campaign, after which "he opened a political consulting business and worked briefly to spread around Washington the message of the conservative Israeli politicians Benjamin Netanyahu and Natan Sharansky." (NY Times))

Natan Sharansky is the author of one of George Bush's favorite books "The Case for Democracy". Joel Rosenberg wrote about Bush's connection to Sharansky in the National Review:

When Natan Sharansky stepped into Condoleezza Rice's West Wing office at 11:15 last Thursday morning, he had no idea the national security advisor would soon be named the next secretary of state. He was just glad to see her holding a copy of his newly published book, The Case for Democracy. "I'm already half-way through your book," Rice said. "Do you know why I'm reading it?"


Rice smiled. "I'm reading it because the president is reading it, and it's my job to know what the president is thinking."

During the course of the interview on yesterday's FOX & Friends E. D. Hill noted that Iran's President Ahmadinejad said that on August 22nd he will give his answer to the United Nations request that Iran renounce its nuclear program or face sanctions. She asked Rosenberg if the date August 22nd was important in the Islamic world.

Rosenberg answered, saying "Well, as Middle East expert Bernard Lewis has brought up and as have others, August 22nd is a very important date in Islam. It's the date by which the Prophet Mohammed supposedly made his night flight from Saudi Arabia to Jerusalem, to heaven and back. It's a day that many radical Muslims kind of long for liquidating the Jewish people and liberating Jerusalem. Therefore, the concern is that, if this response is coming from Iran over its nuclear program on the 22nd, Lewis raises the possibility that this would be the date for the catastrophic attack that Iran is planning to wipe Israel off the map."

E. D. HILL: "And why catastrophic attack? People in their right mind would say, well, wait a second, you bring that on you, you create the end of the world but, in fact, if you look at it from a religious perspective, that hastens the coming of the Messiah. And is that a fear that a lot of people have concerning Ahmadinejad?"

ROSENBERG: "Well, that's the concern about Ahmadinejad and I write about this fictionally in "The Ezekiel Option", "The Copper Scroll", but what's not fiction right now is that Ahmadinejad is a radical Shi'ite Muslim. He is telling colleagues in Iran that he believes the end of the world is rapidly approaching and that the way to hasten the coming of the Islamic Messiah is to launch a global jihad to destroy Israel, the little satan, in his view, and the United States, the great satan. In the speech last October, E. D., in which Ahmadinejad gave his 'we're gonna wipe Israel off the map' speech, he also urged the Muslim world to envision a world without the United States and he asked, rhetorically, 'is that possible?' and then he began to lay out the strategy of a Muslim attack against Israel and the United States."

From Wikipedia:

"Many news sources have presented one of Ahmadinejad's phrases in Persian as a statement that "Israel must be wiped off the map", an English idiom which means to cause a place to stop existing.

Juan Cole, a University of Michigan Professor of Modern Middle East and South Asian History, translates the Persian phrase as:

"The Imam said that this regime occupying Jerusalem (een rezhim-e ishghalgar-e qods) must [vanish from] the page of time (bayad az safheh-ye ruzgar mahv shavad)."

"Ahmadinejad did not say he was going to wipe Israel off the map because no such idiom exists in Persian" and "He did say he hoped its regime, i.e., a Jewish-Zionist state occupying Jerusalem, would collapse."

The Middle East Media Research Institute (MEMRI) translates the phrase similarly:

"[T]his regime that is occupying Qods [Jerusalem] must be eliminated from the pages of history." [End Wikipedia excerpt]

My note: MEMRI is staffed almost exclusively by Israeli interpreters.

HILL: "Now, we look at this through a western perspective but try - but help us understand it from a non-western perspective. Does this man believe that it is his religious duty, the highest duty he could possibly fulfill, to eliminate us?"

ROSENBERG: "That's right. And mary - many Americans, too many Americans, simply don't understand that, that objective. That's what I'm writing about. That's what I'm trying to communicate. That's what Lewis brought up."

(Remember, folks, this guy writes CHRISTIAN APOCALYPTIC NOVELS. Novels are called FICTION for good reason!!)

ROSENBERG (continued): "It wasn't August 22nd, that date, being a set-in-stone attack date. It's this religious end-of-the-world, messianic, apocalyptic complex that Ahmadinejad has. That's what so dangerous because you can't ultimately negotiate with a man who believes his religious duty is to commit carnage and genocide against Americans and Israelis."

HILL: "Yeah. The highest goal of his life would be to do that. Alright, Joel Rosenberg, thank you for helping us so I can get a better understanding of this. Thank you."

ROSENBERG: "My pleasure."


For those of you who do not know about the Hidden Imam, I suggest you read about him here.

I had no idea until last week that the Shi'a sect of Islam is an apocalyptic one.

Of course, a Christian apocalyptic believer like Joel Rosenberg would look with horror on the Shi'a belief in the Hidden Imam's return (with Jesus Christ at his side).

In Rosenberg's world view, if the Mahdi wins, then Israel falls and the poor long-suffering rapture Christians won't get swept into heaven while the rest of us are pulled into the fiery pits of hell. The Apocalyptic Christian myth claims that Israel's existence is the key to the return of Jesus Christ on a fluffy white cloud.

From the Shi'a point of view, if Israel continues to exist, then their trip to Paradise will be all undone, because their Apocalypse depends upon Israel disappearing off the face of the earth.

The only constant I see here is that in both scenarios any Jew who doesn't convert to either Christianity or Islam is on the losing side. (Rosenberg clearly hedged his bets. By converting to Apocalyptic Christianity, he stands a 50% chance of reaching the pearly gates.)

As for me, I'm looking into the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, which grew out of one unemployed physics professor's dismay at the Kansas School Board when they voted on Intelligent Design as a scientific theory.

You can check out the Church at venganza.com.

It's all the rage with the middle-school crowd. Two of my students introduced me to it last year.

As far as I'm concerned, it makes about as much sense as what FOX News tried to palm off yesterday as educated "analysis" of Middle Eastern religious concepts!

From the letter written by Bobby Henderson to the Kansas School Board:

I am writing you with much concern after having read of your hearing to decide whether the alternative theory of Intelligent Design should be taught along with the theory of Evolution. I think we can all agree that it is important for students to hear multiple viewpoints so they can choose for themselves the theory that makes the most sense to them. I am concerned, however, that students will only hear one theory of Intelligent Design.

Let us remember that there are multiple theories of Intelligent Design. I and many others around the world are of the strong belief that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster. It was He who created all that we see and all that we feel. We feel strongly that the overwhelming scientific evidence pointing towards evolutionary processes is nothing but a coincidence, put in place by Him.

It is for this reason that I’m writing you today, to formally request that this alternative theory be taught in your schools, along with the other two theories. In fact, I will go so far as to say, if you do not agree to do this, we will be forced to proceed with legal action. I’m sure you see where we are coming from. If the Intelligent Design theory is not based on faith, but instead another scientific theory, as is claimed, then you must also allow our theory to be taught, as it is also based on science, not on faith.

Some find that hard to believe, so it may be helpful to tell you a little more about our beliefs. We have evidence that a Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe. None of us, of course, were around to see it, but we have written accounts of it. We have several lengthy volumes explaining all details of His power. Also, you may be surprised to hear that there are over 10 million of us, and growing. We tend to be very secretive, as many people claim our beliefs are not substantiated by observable evidence. What these people don’t understand is that He built the world to make us think the earth is older than it really is. For example, a scientist may perform a carbon-dating process on an artifact. He finds that approximately 75% of the Carbon-14 has decayed by electron emission to Nitrogen-14, and infers that this artifact is approximately 10,000 years old, as the half-life of Carbon-14 appears to be 5,730 years. But what our scientist does not realize is that every time he makes a measurement, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage. We have numerous texts that describe in detail how this can be possible and the reasons why He does this. He is of course invisible and can pass through normal matter with ease.

I’m sure you now realize how important it is that your students are taught this alternate theory. It is absolutely imperative that they realize that observable evidence is at the discretion of a Flying Spaghetti Monster. Furthermore, it is disrespectful to teach our beliefs without wearing His chosen outfit, which of course is full pirate regalia. I cannot stress the importance of this enough, and unfortunately cannot describe in detail why this must be done as I fear this letter is already becoming too long. The concise explanation is that He becomes angry if we don’t.

Now for a tap your toes send-up of the whole issue of evolution, from the New York Dolls, via YouTube.com. You might even catch a glimpse of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and his blessed pirates!