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Bob Cesca's Online Petition to Replace O'Reilly with Donahue

Reported by Marie Therese - February 28, 2006

Last week Bill O'Reilly asked his viewers to sign a snarky online petition calling on MSNBC to fire Keith Olbermann and replace him with Phil Donohue in order to boost flagging ratings. (I suspected at the time it was actually another in a long string of marketing ploys, designed to increase traffic on Mr. O's personal website, BillOReilly.com!) Bob Cesca has countered with a petition addressed to FOX News asking that, in light of O'Reilly's disintegrating mental state, they replace him with Phil Donohue. As many of you know, Phil wiped the floor with Bill during a memorable Factor donnybrook! I've reprinted the battling petitions below. Let the games begin!

BILL O'REILLY'S PETITION

February 22, 2006

Chairman Robert Wright
National Broadcasting Company
30 Rockefeller Plaza
New York, New York 10112

Dear Chairman Wright:

We, the undersigned, are becoming increasingly concerned about the well-being of MSNBC and, in particular, note the continuing ratings failure of the program currently airing weeknights on that network at 8:00 PM EST.

It is now apparent to everyone that a grave injustice has been done to the previous host for that time slot, Phil Donahue, whose ratings, at the time of his show's cancellation three years ago, were demonstrably stronger than those of the current host.

Therefore, in an effort to rescue MSNBC from the ratings basement and to restore the honor and dignity of Mr. Donahue, who was ignobly removed as host three years ago, we ask that you immediately bring Phil Donahue's show back at 8:00 PM EST before any more damage is done.

The Undersigned


BOB CESCA'S PETITION

To: Roger Ailes, Fox News Channel

Dear Your Honor Roger Ailes,

We, the undersigned, are becoming increasingly concerned about the mental health of the host of your 8:00 PM EST show on Fox News Channel. This host has claimed:

1) San Francisco should be attacked by al-Qaeda terrorists ("homicide bombers").

2) There's a conspiracy to cancel the extremely popular Christmas holiday, even though the culture of Christmas is prevalent in America for nearly three months of every year.

3) That opponents of his show favor personal attacks and smearing, while he routinely employs the pejorative "pinheads" to describe anyone who disagrees with him.

4) That he never used the phrase "shut up" even though he's on-record saying that phrase dozens of times.

5) He has yet to publicly address his sexual penchant for soapy falafel sandwiches and female underlings.

6) He routinely misrepresents factual information (often called "lying"), then claims he told the truth, but will occasionally recant and admit to flagrantly misleading his viewers.

(For more citations of your 8:00 PM EST host's growing level of dysfunction, please visit: http://mediamatters.org/issues_topics/people/billoreilly where there are approximately 400 references to your host's mental instability.)

As a result, we recommend that you uphold your "fair and balanced" reputation and replace your 8:00 PM EST host with popular talk show host Phil Donahue.

In a recent petition to MSNBC, your host praised Mr. Donahue's ability to draw a large audience and referred to Mr. Donahue's "honor and dignity" -- a perfect fit for Fox News Channel as your current host obviously endorses Donahue's ability to perform in prime time. So he's a perfect replacement for your 8:00 PM EST host who clearly could use some time off and professional psychological assistance.

We look forward to the premiere of The Donahue Factor, weeknights at 8:00 PM on Fox News Channel.

Sincerely,

Sign the Petition

Cesca proposed this in an online column that appeared in today's Huffington Post.

And, dear readers, before you all comment about how News Hounds was overlooked in the petition, I have written to Mr. Cesca to let him know that this site has documented additional instances of Mr. O'Reilly's complete lack of touch with reality.

Last but not least, pass it on. Get everyone you know to sign Bob Cesca's petition!

Update: 2-28-06 12:11 PM EST:

Contrary to the way O'Reilly runs his online polls, Bob Cesca gives both a tally of the number of signatures and let's you view the names of signers! O'Reilly on the other hand doesn't reveal either the number who have signed or who they are!

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