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Mailbox Funnies - "Happy New Year?" Edition

Reported by Nancy - January 23, 2006 -

It's been over a month since the last time I posted a collection of emails sent to us but obviously intended for someone else. Perhaps for ANYONE else, but clearly not for us. I still can't understand how people can use a computer, get to our website, click on the "contact us" link & STILL not be able to figure out that we're not Information Central. Maybe they don't care, or they figure that we'll obligingly do their work for them. Guess again.

Anyhow, here's the latest batch. As usual, identifying info has been deleted to protect the ignorant. Enjoy!

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Subject: Question for "Fox News Watch"
It seems like different types of stories comes in streaks.  For example, planes whose landing gear doesn’t work – we saw a few of those in a row; then trenches collapse on construction workers – that happened two different times within a week or two; then minors trapped – that’s happened two times within a week or two.  Then we will never hear about anymore of those stories but a new story will happen, and then a week later a similar story will happen again.
Are these things happening all the time and the media will only report a few of these stories and then move on to the next one, or is it just an incredible coincidence that the same thing happens two different times back-to-back and then not happen again?  (i.e. I haven’t heard of any other plane’s landing gear having a problem lately, but it happened two or three times within a few weeks).
FOX News fan,
*** ***
***, OR

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Subject: Sean
Sean,
I just heard Ray Nagin,Willie Wonka and his chocolate city's, lame excuse for his off color comments. I have never been to N.O. and I guess I never will. You see I am vanilla.

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Subject: A GREAT STORY THAT NEEDS TO BE TOLD
A  man named Anthony Disimone's murder conviction been has over turned in Westchester County, NY. He stabbed a college student last name is Balancio  ( son of a former councilman) 13 times with countless witnesses who would not testify because Anthony Disimone is the son of reputed Luchasie mobster Sallie-Bow Disimone. It was a long going battle for Jean Pirro to get a conviction and  she did a Westchester jury found Disimone guilty.Now some how the Disimones found a loop hole and this murderer will go free if this is not withheld. A judge by the name of Charles Brient has overturned this.Something needs to be done. Please help this family have justice Bill.He should not go free.
                                 
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Subject: (no subject)
I was in the hospital and rehab for the month of July. My question is , what happened to Linda Vester. It bugs me because I have not heard anything. Please help

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Subject: THE FERRY POINT PARK WEST COALITION
GOULIANI & GLOOMBERG THE SKELETONS ARE ALL WAITING TO SURFACE FROM YOUR PHONEY 7 YEAR GOLF COURSE AT FERRY POINT PARK THE BX. AS YOU SECRECTLY FLEECED THE TAXPAYERS OUT OF 7 MIL.& COUNTING AS MAFIA GANGSTERS MAKE TAX FREE MILLIONS. SEE D. NEWS 8-14-05 "GOLF SUITES MOB TO A TEE" AND V. VOICE 1-12-05 "GARBAGE IN GOLF OUT" BUT THIS SCANDAL NEEDS THE LEGENDARY HERALDO TO REALLY EXPOSE ALL INVOLVED. SAD HOW THE THOUSANDS OF BLACK AND HISP. KIDS OF THE THROGGS NECK HOUSES WERE STRIPPED OF THERE ONLY BALLFIELD & PLAYGROUND BY GOULIANI,PROVENZANO,GANGE,NICKOLAS 7 YEARS AGO,& NOT 1 PUBLIC OFFICIAL CAME TO THERE AID. HERALDO THE SKELETONS WANT TO COME OUT AND SPEAK WITH YOU.

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Subject: (no subject)
On Dayside, what ever happened to Linda Vester? We like M&J, but we want to know what happened to our big-eyed friend, Linda Vester? Please email me to let us know. thank you. Love your show,Bill.

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Subject: Dear. Mr. Favre,
I am *** ***. I am 14 years old and I go to *** Middle School in ***, PA. I like to play sports, such as Basketball, and I play football for fun. My dream is to catch a ball by you. I know you had a rough season this year, but that doesn't mean it's because your getting old. Remember, Javon Walker, your #1 receiver was out for the whole year. We didn't have much of a run game, even though I give credit to Sakmon Gado for doing his best, but Ahman Green was out for the year also. It was just a tough year due to injuries. I know you to think of your family, but I think they would like to see you go out and have a winning season. I mean we all know your going into the Hall of Fame, so why don't you give it one more shot to go and have a winning season, make it into the playoffs, and possibly a super bowl win. When I have watched your games, the first 7 games, were not bad games, your interceptions were down, you had a lot of Touchdown passes, we just couldn't finish the game with a win. I think you are still a great quarterback, and you need to coach Aaron Rodgers and help him out a little bit. He seems like an unstable rookie. Mr. Favre, you can't hide it, the Green Bay Packers still need you as a quarterback. You still have good potential, when we get Javon Walker, you'll have more threats to throw to, and you'll have Ahman Green, who averages 1,000 yards rushing a year. I was supposed to see you play against the Ravens, because my grandpa has season tickets, but I caught the stomach flu, and I could not go. My grandpa has seats right near the away team's bench, and I was hoping I would get your autograph. Now that I was sick, I couldn't get your autograph, my parents said if you play one more year, I'll get to go up to Lambeau Field, and I'll get to see you play. So for the sake of the Green Bay Packers, please come back! We still need you.
Your biggest fan, *** ***

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Subject: (no subject)
I note from some other-mails that I am not the only wondering what happened to Linda Vester. But I didn't see any of your replies so I'm asking the same question. Did she step on someone's shoes and got herself fired? Please tell me. Thanks

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Subject: (no subject)
Pres.Bush, should do whatever he can to keep us safe!! My daughter has spent 15yrs.with the Navy to help keep our Nation safe. Ms Boxer and her ilk should be forced to watch the HBO series,Sleeper Cell,even though it is a work of fiction, it is very plausible. The President should have Carte Blance were our safety is concerned!!!

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Subject: (no subject)
Muhammad Ali may be frail in body but not in spirit. Even now, he still has the heart of a champion.

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Subject: (no subject)
Where is Laurie Dheu ???

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Subject: please!
Please exercise your influence & ask the conscience of America Mr. Hannity to host for one prime time hour Mr. Howard Stern. Sort of like Bill O'Really is doing. They can talk about values, reality, etc. No interruptions by Alan Colmes.

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Subject: Greta
I am looking for a transcript of Greta Van Susteren's interview with Maj. Gen. Bob Scales in October 2005 after he returned from his most recent trip to Iraq.
Thanks.

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