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Liberals Reveal Plot To Off Santa

Reported by Nancy - December 12, 2005 -

Ah, the serendipity of the Internet! I found this little humor piece at BigFib while looking for something else, & thought our readers could use a good laugh to start off the week. Enjoy!

Please note the category before you rant.

Liberals Reveal Long-Awaited Plot To Off Santa, Have Gay Sex With Easter Bunny
By Lee Camp

According to Fox News anchor John Gibson's new book "The War on Christmas: How the Liberal Plot to Ban the Sacred Christian Holiday Is Worse Than You Thought," the liberals have finally dealt their hand, revealing their plot to murder Santa and have marathon gay sex with the Easter Bunny. As Gibson shows with rock-hard evidence in his book, the Liberals, Democrats, and other America-haters have long had plans to ruin Christmas and deflower the Easter Bunny. Those plans have finally been put into action this year.

In the book, Gibson reveals that 81% of Fox News watchers have been asked by Liberals which way they think the Easter Bunny swings, and 92% of that same group have seen at least one Liberal punch Old Saint Nick in the eye. After presenting his irrefutable evidence, Gibson concludes his book with one of the most patriotic speeches in years, saying, “I have a dream of an America where no one has the right to shoot Santa through the heart with a semi-automatic rifle even though their right to own that rifle is patriotically protected by the Constitution! I have a dream of an America where no one has the right to take the Easter Bunny from behind! I have a dream of an America where no one is allowed to eat happy gnomes and fairy princesses and make hotdogs out of unicorns, as the Liberals so blatantly seek to do. God Bless America!”

Gibson's next book, "Why The Liberals Are Winking At Your 6-Year-Old Daughter," will be out next year.