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Mailbox Unfunnies -- Hukd on Fonix Edition

Reported by Nancy - October 16, 2005 -

For this installment of our hate mail, I culled the ones that had absolute howlers in their (ab)use of the English language. These are not your typical typos, or odd punctuation, or disjointed rants (although those are de rigeur for these folks). Nope, these are in a class by themselves. For example: "selfless piece of ilk" has a certain dissonant ring to it, & has replaced "dribble" (when the writer clearly means "drivel", but doesn't know that it's a different word) as my personal fave. Runner-up: the writer who notes that the world is full of foreigners -- & he's sick of it! The sentiments -- well, as usual, it's a hatefest. Only the identifying info has been deleted. Enjoy!

WARNING: Most of these are pretty mild, but there is some vile language in a few, so if you're offended by that sort of thing, please don't read this thread.

(thanks, chrish, for the title of this post!)

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Subject: your full of sit!!!!!!!
you guys are full of sit!!!!!!!!!

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Subject: (no subject)
jESUS CAME ONCE TO PROCLAIM HIS people. HE WILL DO SO again!!!!! Satan WILL!! F.A.I.L,,AND F,A,L,L.!! IT IS ( written!! )ahmen!,,to god in heaven and JESUS CRIST OUR SAVIOR!!

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Subject: (no subject)
TO CNN WASHINGTON!!!I WOULD LIKE IT SAY CONCERNING MIKE BROWN,DON'T SAY RE-SIGN! SAY RESIGN!!!HE SHOULD HAVE RECEIVED CERTAIN CRITERIA TO JUSTIFY HIS NEXT MOVE!!!SHAME wen DEOCRATS AND REPUBLICANS HAVE TO SPEND TIME GAINING OR LOOSING POINTS!!!AFTER THE GOVERNOR WAS ASKED IF SHE NEEDED ANY HELP!!!(SHOW FOOTAGE with DATE)AS SHE LOOKED AROUND,SHE QUESTIONABLY ANSWERED,LOOKING AROUND!!!IF YOU ASK ME THE ONLY HEREO'S IF THERE ARE ANY,ARE THE THREE YOUNG DUDES...THAT MADE THEIR WAY TO THE BABIES CRYING,THE BABIES DYING!!!I KNOW I WOULD HAVE MADE MYSELF THROUGH,ESPECIALLY IF I WOULD HAVE KNOWN SOMEONE CLOSE TO ME !!! DUH!!!P.S. THANKS MICHAEL FOR TAKING THE FALL FOR SO MANY!!!!!

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Subject: (no subject)
its so funny how liberals pick on bill o he could care less cause his ratings are so high hes that tough american making liberals look like idiots and its just so obvios when whatever your stupid little nobody paper mocks him that your just jeolus and mad that people like him and that normal americans agree with him and that the elite media is the minority i mean all they care about is gay rights terror rights and there just a bunch of whining pussies if tey hate america i wish teyd leave go to iraq for gay rights take in the ass and then hopefully get he headed ahhhhhhhhhhahhhh   ahhhhhhhhah  yea bill maher im swiss no your gay and feel bad your to pussy to go to war so u say ur against it ps no one except 30 people in san digayo watch his stupid 3 liberals on the dumbest conservative u can find  show

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Subject: STOP Helping Our Enemies...
Were you come from I have know IDEA. yOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOUSELVES. rEMEMBER THE WORLD TRADE CENTER tHEY KILLED US. tHEY ATTACKED US. hAVE YOU FORGOTTEN, AS THE SONGS REMINES US. WE ARE NOT THE ENEMY...REMEMBER THAT...WERE WE THE ENEMY AT PEARL HARBOR...NOT THEN, NOT NOW...DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE DIED THEN...WERE WE UNITED...SO MUCH MORE THAN KNOW...STOP HATING PRESIDENT BUSH, AND START BEING TRUE AMERICANS AND HELP PROTECT OUR COUNTRY, NOT GIVE HONOR TO THE TERRIST...GROW UP...MAKE OUR COUNTRY COUNT FOR A CHANGE. A DISCUSSED AMERICAN AGAINST HARM TO OUR COUNTRY.

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Subject: You are nuts!
I have watched all the news networks and I think Fox is the most balanced of them all.  So, you do not have to watch Fox News for many of us -- we watch it ourselves so we don't get the dribble that folks like you put out.  Most of us believe there are two sides to most stories and Fox always puts both sides forward.  I can't say that about any of the other network news.
*** ***, Mississippi

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Subject: Who were responsible or the roots of terrorism in America?
The first man in America to lay down the foundation for terrorists was the goove President STUPID Carter Who gave in to the Iranian in 1979 and his indecisive action which made him looked like a coward.His hypocritical actions and comments toward united States has encouraged the Arabs terrorists to aim at united States as their big target.The next person is Ted Turner who introduced his athiastic CNN NEWS that beamed to third world and muslim countries.This increased hate and enviousness toward U.S.A.It showed the American greed for material world in thanksgiving,Christmas and other holidays.The most punk of all these men was President clinton,who destroyed the moral of U.S.A.Before he became a president there 1.5 million muslims in America and eight years of his presedency there are now 6.8million muslims.Why,all thse accusations,because clinton's henchmen in embassies(counsulor sections) in africa, asia south america and middle east paid about $7000-$10,000 to get american visa.Mr.Clinton also fooled the Africa leaders to put their money into stocks per Enron's headquarters in Nigeria,there by bankrupted all the African countries in West Africa.Mr Ron Brown was the architec of this African venture and also forced internet on all these AFRICAN COUNTRIES,who did not have a former education on computers.These contributed greatly into the debts of the africans.Therefore Mr.Clinton used Mr. Ron Brown as the fall guy and sent him to COSOVO to get rid of him.So,why some fools are blaming President Bush for every thing.Why the Democracts do not want Mr.Bolton because some of them might have received bribe from Sadam during his hay days and Mr. Bolton is a man who will dig to find the truth.Therefore,the Democracts are trying to save ther own necks but not the American people. God bless PRESIDENT BUSH AND GOD SAVES U.S.A.

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Subject: (no subject)
TO SUM YOU AND CINDY SHEEHAN UP IN ONE WORD---ILK!!!!!!!!!!! YOU ALL MAKE ME , LITERALLY, SICK TO MY STOMACH.  AS THE MOTHER OF A NAVY SEAL WHO IS SERVING HIS SECOND TOUR IN IRAQ AND AFGHANISTAN, I DEMAND THAT YOU NEVER, NEVER SAY YOU REPRESENT  MILITARY MOTHERS, SPOUSES, PARENTS, ETC.  YOU SURE AS HELL DON'T REPRESENT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
I FEEL EXTREMELY SORRY FOR THE FATHER AND WIFE OF CASEY SHEEHAN.  I COULD NOT HIDE MY DISDAIN TOWARDS HIS MOTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!! HER SON, VOLUNTARILY , DIED FOR HIS COUNTRY--A TRUE HERO--JUST TO HAVE HIS MOTHER DISCREDIT HIS NAME, HIS SERVICE, OUR COUNTRY, OUR TROOPS AND OUR PRESIDENT!  IS SHE REALLY SO INEPT AS NOT TO REALIZE THAT THE FAR LEFT , MICHAEL MOORE , MOVE ON . ORG, YOUR DISGUSTING ENTITY, ETC. ARE EXPLOITING HER!!!!!!!!  I , UNLIKE THE MEDIA, WILL SHOW HER NO MERCY, NO SYMPATHY,  WHAT MAKES HER SO DIFFERENT FROM THE REST OF US?  MY SON MAY NOT HAVE MADE THE ULTIMATE SACRIFICE, YET, BUT HE SO PROUDLY STATED THAT HE WOULD MUCH PREFER TO DIE DEFENDING OUR RIGHTS AND FREEDOMS IN THIS GREAT COUNTRY, THAN  FOR SOME MEANINGLESS CAUSE.  POOR CASEY!~  A TRUE AMERICAN HERO!  AMERICA WILL NOT FORGET THAT--TOO BAD HIS OWN MOTHER DEFAMES EVERYTHING THE YOUNG MAN STOOD FOR!  HAS SHE NOT LISTENED TO OUR TROOPS OVER THERE?  DOES SHE HAVE ANY CONSCIENCE WHATSOEVER?  DOES SHE NOT CARE  HOW HER ACTIONS ARE AFFECTING EVERY MAN AND WOMAN FIGHTING FOR HER RIGHT TO BE A SELFLESS PIECE OF ILK?!  SHAME ON HER!!!!!!!!!! SHAME ON THE LIBERAL NEWS MEDIA!!!!!!!!!!!!SHAME ON ORGANIZATIONS LIKE YOURS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!GOD BLESS AMERICA--GOD BLESS OUR TROOPS--AND GOD BLESS FOX NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU BASTARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Subject: (no subject)
You must have a lot of time on your hands.  You must also be a Democrat.  Why you have it in for Hannity & Colmes is beyond me.  Obviously, you have no children..and no heart either.  Many of us want to keep this going and to support her family.  It is a conspiracy unless you haven't noticed.  I guess you are a foreigner, since you are siding with the "non-Americans."  The world is full of people like you and I am sick of you.  Get a life.........................*** from New Jersey

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Subject: sick people
Your are real SICK, that you dont care about a child that is missing in aruba, I hope that all of you at this sick paper have to suffer the death of one of your kids. Wake up and smell what you are selling here??? All my love
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