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Mailbox Sunday Funnies - Not "The Apprentice" Edition

Reported by Nancy - September 25, 2005 -

Since the last time I posted a similar collection, our inbox has been relatively quiet in terms of misdirected emails, but they never really stop. Here is the latest batch, including a spam email addressed to Donald Trump. As if our own spam weren't bad enough! As usual, identifying info has been deleted to protect the ignorant. Enjoy!

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Subject: (no subject)
I have watched CNN through both hurricanes, and it seems to me the only place they are covering is New Orleans.  I would like for someone to answer this question about the levies. During the Clinton administration I understand that they gave Louisiana 62 million dollars to repair the levies.  I under stand they did a little work on the levies, built a statue in the town and don't know where the other money went.  If you could find an answer on this I would like to see that on CNN.  I also understand from your show that they have found that the levies were not constructed to standards, could they not go back on the contractors on this.  I would like to hear this on Situation Room.

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Subject: Sunday Fox & Friends News Show
I Live in Kansas City,Mo. trying to watch your  Sunday show which doesn't give any  voice speaking sound. 
*** ***

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Subject: Shepard Smith
Please ask Shepard Smith to contact us by e-mail as my husband is a cousin and resides in Washington IN. Shep can e-mail and we would be very appreciative. His Grandmother *** *** (***) was a sister to *** ***, my husbands grandfather. *** and *** *** moved to Florida several years ago and had two sons, *** and *** and we think Sheps father is *** and both, *** and *** were Doctors.
Thank You, *** *** ( Wife of ***)

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Subject: abandon pets
did you have a segment on  abandon pets for hurricane katrina and are there any to be adopted in the Tampa bay area???

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Subject: Katrina Animals
I just heard reports that the remaining animals will be shot.  Isn't there anything you can do to make people realize that the animals have been made into pets and are totally reliable on their caretakers ?  What rights do we have to decide one day to just shoot the problem ?  I can assure you....if I had been living in New Orleans.....I would still be there (with my animals).  How dare anyone who picks up a gun to shoot someones pet.  Look at the eyes of the animals.....they have been devasted too.....but with no choice in anything.  Where is my tax dollars going ?  Why can't some of the relief money go towards helping the animals ?
Please help, *** ***

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Subject: (no subject)
I have been trying to get on the e-mail "caffertyfilecnn.com"web site...I get nothing.when I go on cnntvnews I get nothing.. Clue me in. [email address, which was the same as the "from" line, deleted]

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Subject: (no subject)
Bill Hemmer,
You made my day by moving to Fox News. Wishing you a fantastic new phase in your career.
*** ***, Toledo, Ohio

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Subject: HELLO DONALD TRUMP
ATTEN: DONALD TRUMP
FROM  : *** ***
EMAIL : ***@hotmail.com
STRICTLY      CONFIDENTIAL
[note:I deleted the rest, which is a typical Nigerian-spam letter, but I thought it was pretty funny that we're getting spam for Donald Trump]

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Subject: to Greta Van Sustern
Bless you for all you support and had work to Beth Holloway Twitty and family.  NOW WHAT IS GOING ON AND WHAT WILL HAPPEN NOW THAT YOU AND THEY ARE GONE FROM ARUBA?  Please send reply and keep Americans and the world up to date about this terrible crime we know was commited.  Thank you.
Sincerely *** *

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Subject: (no subject)
Haven't seen Rita Cosby Lately . Can you tell me what happened to her? I really liked to watch her
Thank You . *** from Moundsville, WV.