The Mule Consented
Reported by Ellen - May 14, 2005
Neal Horsley returned to the Alan Colmes Radio Show Thursday night to defend his history of his, er, um, fancy of a certain mule in his pre-teen life of a "normal" farm boy. It was a natural occurence, he said, like that of a mutt that will hump everything warm and wet in sight. He maintained that he did not rape the mule. Horsley claimed that the mule consented and was a willing consultant in this match due to the fact that the mule was clearly a whore for accepting the gift of an ear of corn for the sexual act. Now if you are doing a double take on that piece of information, I should advise you, he really said it.
Mr. Horsley stated that it is logical and natural to engage in beastiality in today's world, comparing it to consenting gay sex. Mule-man sex is natural, and man-man sex is natural but not normal. He compared it to the paradigm of a dog humping a leg or anything it can find. All men are mutts (well DUH!) when it comes to their sexuality, The mule was just a matter of convenience for him, but it was just one mule. And I'll quote Alan on this one "At least you were a monogomist".
Alan continued the question with "if it were a washing machine would you have sexual intercourse with it?"
Horsley replied, paraphasing, "I hadn't thought about it, but I would have had sex with anything wet and warm and moved."
At this time all I could think was sending out an APB warning people to lock up their washing appliances tonight.
Horsley continued by saying that you can be forgiven for the "naturalness" of beastiality because animals are dumb and have no feelings, but those involved in homsexuality should be put in prison.
That would mean Horsley should be sitting in that prison according to his own convictions. Yes folks, most of you guessed it right, he admitted to 1 homosexual affair with a man and 2 extra-marital
affairs that resulted in pregnancies. Mr. Horsely who is staunch anti-abortion advocate, claimed tonight he had "personally seen thousands of abortions walk by him, weeping", (can I please have video
of that?), stated he had told the mistresses that they should abort the fetuses. The women didn't chose that option and decided to have the children.
Colmes brought up oral sex, asking if it was a sin between a married woman and a man. Horsley pretty much did a gallop around the
subject stating that is was not for him to judge on these matters. He follows his Bible and all the sexual references it entails as his guide. So what's his excuse for putting all the names and addresses of the abortionists on his website? I'm not judging you if you accidentally show up on their door and threaten their life?
Tonight it dawned on me, after going through 12 years of Catholic School and studying the Bible, I must have been reading the kinkiest and most erotic sexual manual on the planet all those years.
The Bible is about sex, sex, sex.
Trotting to the barnyard........
Posted by Dee, edited by Ellen
Thanks so much Dee!