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Grenade Shocker!

Reported by Nancy - May 14, 2005 -

I thought it might be a nice change of pace to start off the weekend with a little humor -- especially because FNC was all a-flutter over this story a couple of days ago. Enjoy!

This is from one of my favorites, Andy Borowitz:

Fake Weapon No Threat to Fake Leader, Security Officials Say

A hand grenade hurled in the direction of President George W. Bush in Tbilisi, Georgia on Tuesday caused a momentary scare among security personnel in the former Soviet republic until it was determined that the grenade, and the president himself, were both phony.

The grenade, which was found within 100 feet of the tribune in Tbilisi's Freedom Square where the president spoke on Tuesday, was at first believed to be real, as was the president himself.

But after authorities were able to examine both the grenade and the president more closely, it was determined that they were both completely fake.

"The grenade posed no real threat at all," said a top Georgian security official. "Much like Iraq in March of 2003."

The White House issued no official comment on the phony grenade, but said that the president would make a false statement later in the day.

But White House spokesman Scott McClellan confirmed reports that a phony plan to fix Social Security had been discovered late Tuesday afternoon on the president's desk in the Oval Office.

After the fake plan was spotted by a sharp-eyed administrative assistant, a bomb squad was brought in to detonate the phony document in a safe and controlled manner.

"If that plan to fix Social Security had been real, it would have been incredibly dangerous," Mr. McClellan said. "Fortunately, it was a total fraud."

Elsewhere, United Airlines said that their employees would no longer be entitled to a pension but that they would be offered a light snack for purchase on all domestic flights.

NOTE TO READERS: The category is humor.