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Fox News Buys Al-Jazeera

Reported by Nancy - February 3, 2005 -

Rather than just another boring summary of the boringly lavish praise Fox lavished on Bush for the State of the Union speech, I thought our readers might enjoy this satire piece from Andy Borowitz (before you rant, note the category: it's HUMOR).

FOX NEWS BUYS AL-JAZEERA
'Hannity & Hussein' Among New Network's Programs

Under intense pressure from the Bush administration to sell its controversial al-Jazeera network, the nation of Qatar stunned the television industry today by agreeing to sell the broadcast company to Rupert Murdoch's Fox News Channel.

Television insiders were taken aback that the network whose motto is "We Report - You Decide," would acquire a broadcast entity whose slogan is "Death to the Infidels." But according to Murdoch, owner of Fox parent company News Corporation, the merger was a natural because, in his words, "We took a look at their format and realized that it was almost identical to ours."

"If we really roll up our sleeves & make this merger work, we may wind up with the fairest & most balanced network mankind has ever known," Murdoch added. The media mogul said that changes to al-Jazeera's programming would be "minimal" at first: "We'll be going through their news copy & every time they call President Bush 'Satan,' we'll take out the words 'President Bush' & replace them with 'Ted Kennedy.'"

But viewers can expect much bigger changes to come, as the channel plans to drop al-Jazeera's most popular program, This Week in Jihad, in favor of a new show, Hannity & Hussein. In the words of a Fox-Jazeera press release, Hannity & Hussein will be "a lively political discussion featuring Fox personality Sean Hannity, from the right, & deposed Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein, from his prison cell."