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Comedy Alert

Reported by Nancy - August 14, 2004 -

In an effort to be more fair & balanced, cable news network FOX News has announced it will not mention any Democrats for the remainder of the 2004 campaign season. [Comment: note the category before you rant, please.]

Fox News Decides Not To Report About Democrats

News Hax wire – In an effort to be more fair & balanced, cable news network FOX News has announced it will not mention any Democrats for the remainder of the 2004 campaign season. "We just got tired of being called ‘slanted' & ‘unfair' by the liberal media elite," said FOX News president Roger Ailes in an interview with the liberal media elite. "So from now on we simply won't mention Democrats at all. Not the nominee, not his running mate, not Democratic congressional incumbents, not Democratic gubernatorial challengers, not Democratic dog catchers … nada." Ailes defended the new editorial policy as the only way to end the vicious partisan cycle of Republicans lying through their teeth & Democrats pointing it out. "After all, we want to be fair & balanced," Ailes demurred. "As my mama used to say, ‘if you can't say something nice about someone, don't say anything at all.' God, mama was a simpleminded, cliché riddled old hag!"

DNC Chair Terry McAuliffe immediately embraced the new FOX News policy, though none of his comments were reported anywhere, since FOX won't mention him, & CNN & MSNBC won't mention FOX.

In an effort to capitalize on the new editorial policy, FOX News is also changing it's slogan to, "We omit, you take your best guess."

http://www.newshax.com/modules/news/article.php?storyid=677