Abstinence advocate and Fox News contributor Steven Crowder has FINALLY LOST HIS VIRGINITY AND IT WAS AWESOME!!! His latest gag inducing column, "Waiting till the wedding night – getting married the right way." is all about how the post-nuptial bliss that he and the Mrs. enjoyed was due to their pre-marital avoidance of any sexual contact whatsoever and that, according to Crowder, included not engaging in Bill Clinton style oral gratification. Nosiree, Crowder didn't do the nasty before he put a ring on it and if he can do it, so should you.
And, ladies, if you do succumb to your base carnality, and start "schtupping" you're a ""floozie." You guys, however, are just engaging in "pathetic sexual conquests." Crowder is proud of "doing it right." (Just missionary?) and as such his wedding night was "amazing" starting with Crowder carrying the new Mrs. Crowder (the former Hilary Korzon) over the threshold of their hotel room on their way for a little "nightcap."
So there you have it. According to the pure and virtuous Crowder, all of you who live in a "harlot/mimb world," are just a bunch of "promiscuous charlatans." As the "church lady" would say, isn't that special!"
Addendum: Wonder if we'll be seeing Mrs. Crowder working for Fox News. She's a perfect fit - an attractive blonde who took time off from her modeling career to attend conservative, Christian Calvin College (political science grad) during which time she interned for Laura Ingraham. She also interned at the conservative National Journalism Center (Young America Foundation affileiated with the Reagan Ranch) where she was wowed (page 4) by Ann Coulter. She still finds time to do some modeling. Here's wishing the newleyweds many happy years with many happy, conservative kids.